Empowering the Nurturing Father to Use the Five Steps of Parental Intelligence
Research in the last decade narrows the parenting field for fathers.
It claims that fathers leave nurturing to mothers while exploring the world and encouraging risk-taking is the province of fathers.
Nurturing Fathers Yet in my experience, fathers today are involved in pregnancy, hold their infants in the delivery room after cutting the cord, feed their babies and rock them to sleep.
These are nurturing fathers.
Fathers today are more involved in raising children than ever before.
They share the care and feeding of their children with mothers, mothers encourage this, and everyone benefits.
How Do Fathers' Hold Their Babies? The research says that mothers hold their baby with his or her face in the crook of her neck, so the baby looks at her.
In contrast, fathers hold the baby's bum in his upturned hand to the side of his chest cocked away from his body, so he sees the world.
Here's an experiment for moms and dads: With no explanation moms take a doll or a pillow role played as a baby and give it to their husband.
Spontaneously, they say, "Hold the baby" and see what the husband does.
My husband held the doll in a rocking position.
What did you discover? Are Fathers the Only Ones Who Support Independence in Their Children? I'm a psychoanalyst.
I study and do research.
So, I'm not the usual one to debunk it.
But I think fathers are much more nurturing than they are given credit for.
And, I'll add, I think mothers today encourage their children to go out in the world and be independent more than they are given credit for.
Fathers and mothers support independent strivings.
Who Takes the Kids to Explore the World? In a recent research finding it was suggested that although mothers tend to pick up their babies to feed or care for them, fathers pick up their children to do something with them.
That something often involves more play or discovery than pure child care.
That research finding was printed in 2009.
If you read any books or blogs by Stay-at-Home Dads who are surely on the rise, these guys fold laundry, cook, vacuum, hold and feed their children.
Working dads do this, too.
Not only that, but what about the mothers who go on trampolines, take their kids to science museums, swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, as well as, play Legos, build with clay, and teach their kids how to use tools.
And of course fathers do all that driving and playing, too, because it's nurturing.
Who Uses the Five Steps to Parental Intelligence? Does Gender Matter? Parental Intelligence is a new concept I've only named in the past few years, but have practiced it my whole mothering life with my husband.
My kids were raised with Parental Intelligence.
In my psychotherapy practice, parents learn to Unlock their Parental Intelligence.
Does gender matter when it comes to the five steps? Step One: Stepping Back Both mothers and fathers can learn to pause, wait, and consider their child's behavior before deciding what it means and what to do.
In fact, if either parent is feeling angry and impulsive, the other parent can buffer the child by helping their partner settle down and step back.
Step Two: Self-Reflecting Decades ago, I have to admit, it was generally believed that women were more likely to be self-reflective about their feelings than men.
But today, I don't find that to be the case at all.
Nurturing fathers own their feelings and express them.
Step Three: Understanding Your Child's Mind Today, both mothers and fathers are very curious about understanding their child's mind.
They want to know how to find out what their kids are thinking, feeling, intending, imagining.
They seek parenting advice on how to do this.
Understanding Your Child's Mind is an essential part of Parental Intelligence.
Nurturing fathers are involved in this exploration.
Step Four: Understanding Child Development It may have been the case years ago that the child development book stayed on the mother's side of the bed on her night stand.
Today, however, fathers, even expectant fathers are reading more about their child's milestones and learning what they can expect of their child at different ages.
Step Five: Problem Solving After going through the first four steps, the meanings behind the child's behavior have usually surfaced and both parents are ready to problem solve.
In single parent families,either gender is capable of carrying out problem solving using their skills for empathy as they collaborate with their child about what they are struggling with and find options to solve their problems.
All-in All So, I think I've made my case.
Fathers Are Nurturing and use the Five Steps of Parental Intelligence.
And the world is better off for it.
Go DADS!
It claims that fathers leave nurturing to mothers while exploring the world and encouraging risk-taking is the province of fathers.
Nurturing Fathers Yet in my experience, fathers today are involved in pregnancy, hold their infants in the delivery room after cutting the cord, feed their babies and rock them to sleep.
These are nurturing fathers.
Fathers today are more involved in raising children than ever before.
They share the care and feeding of their children with mothers, mothers encourage this, and everyone benefits.
How Do Fathers' Hold Their Babies? The research says that mothers hold their baby with his or her face in the crook of her neck, so the baby looks at her.
In contrast, fathers hold the baby's bum in his upturned hand to the side of his chest cocked away from his body, so he sees the world.
Here's an experiment for moms and dads: With no explanation moms take a doll or a pillow role played as a baby and give it to their husband.
Spontaneously, they say, "Hold the baby" and see what the husband does.
My husband held the doll in a rocking position.
What did you discover? Are Fathers the Only Ones Who Support Independence in Their Children? I'm a psychoanalyst.
I study and do research.
So, I'm not the usual one to debunk it.
But I think fathers are much more nurturing than they are given credit for.
And, I'll add, I think mothers today encourage their children to go out in the world and be independent more than they are given credit for.
Fathers and mothers support independent strivings.
Who Takes the Kids to Explore the World? In a recent research finding it was suggested that although mothers tend to pick up their babies to feed or care for them, fathers pick up their children to do something with them.
That something often involves more play or discovery than pure child care.
That research finding was printed in 2009.
If you read any books or blogs by Stay-at-Home Dads who are surely on the rise, these guys fold laundry, cook, vacuum, hold and feed their children.
Working dads do this, too.
Not only that, but what about the mothers who go on trampolines, take their kids to science museums, swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, as well as, play Legos, build with clay, and teach their kids how to use tools.
And of course fathers do all that driving and playing, too, because it's nurturing.
Who Uses the Five Steps to Parental Intelligence? Does Gender Matter? Parental Intelligence is a new concept I've only named in the past few years, but have practiced it my whole mothering life with my husband.
My kids were raised with Parental Intelligence.
In my psychotherapy practice, parents learn to Unlock their Parental Intelligence.
Does gender matter when it comes to the five steps? Step One: Stepping Back Both mothers and fathers can learn to pause, wait, and consider their child's behavior before deciding what it means and what to do.
In fact, if either parent is feeling angry and impulsive, the other parent can buffer the child by helping their partner settle down and step back.
Step Two: Self-Reflecting Decades ago, I have to admit, it was generally believed that women were more likely to be self-reflective about their feelings than men.
But today, I don't find that to be the case at all.
Nurturing fathers own their feelings and express them.
Step Three: Understanding Your Child's Mind Today, both mothers and fathers are very curious about understanding their child's mind.
They want to know how to find out what their kids are thinking, feeling, intending, imagining.
They seek parenting advice on how to do this.
Understanding Your Child's Mind is an essential part of Parental Intelligence.
Nurturing fathers are involved in this exploration.
Step Four: Understanding Child Development It may have been the case years ago that the child development book stayed on the mother's side of the bed on her night stand.
Today, however, fathers, even expectant fathers are reading more about their child's milestones and learning what they can expect of their child at different ages.
Step Five: Problem Solving After going through the first four steps, the meanings behind the child's behavior have usually surfaced and both parents are ready to problem solve.
In single parent families,either gender is capable of carrying out problem solving using their skills for empathy as they collaborate with their child about what they are struggling with and find options to solve their problems.
All-in All So, I think I've made my case.
Fathers Are Nurturing and use the Five Steps of Parental Intelligence.
And the world is better off for it.
Go DADS!
