Pregnancy Of The Paramour Because My Husband Had An Affair - What To Do To Move On
It's a situation dreaded by those women who are married. Their husband had an affair and because of that, the other woman is having a child that's likely to be his. Getting past this situation is not impossible, but will require a lot of strength from you, and that's only the beginning. Let's find out how best you can handle the ordeal of your husband's affair and the new child involved.
That Husband Of Yours, Is He The Baby's Real Father?
It is highly recommended that this question be answered at the earliest possible opportunity, since the ex-paramour may be lying about your husband being the child's father. She may not be able to find the real dad of her child, so she would try to make it look to your husband and yourself that he is the true father.
Find out once and for all whether your husband is the father of this child through a paternity test. Be prepared for the result. If the kid's father turns out to be another guy, then the relationship with you and your husband will be easier to repair, although he is far from being off the hook for having that affair in the first place. If the child is in fact his, remember that this mess with the affair already occurred and you can't alter the past. You're in a complicated situation and we will continue to discuss how best you can deal with it.
Communication needs to be stronger in your marriage, and more constructive for your marriage to survive. It will help for you two to have an understanding again, and will serve to bring you two emotionally closer once more.
Because your husband had an affair, and now has a child as a result, changes will be made to make way for the child. You have never been in this situation before (hopefully) and it will take a period of time to adapt to it. If your husband does not only support the child financially, he may play a more active role in the child's development. So there will be periods where communication takes place between your husband and the kid's mother to discuss the happenings of the child.
To make it easier, be around whenever they communicate in regards to the child. Let your husband know that these discussions must not go beyond the topic of the well-being of the kid. As a condition, you should be able to check emails, listen in on discussions over the phone etc. When it comes to getting the child in a shared custody situation, you may want to bring a trusted relative along to retrieve the child for your husband. You want to make sure that any time alone your husband has with the paramour is no more.
Transparency needs to be ever present in your marriage, along with honesty, healthy communication etc. No lies from either of you please. It is by no means easy, but you both need to spend time to discuss the unresolved issues in your marriage. It is important that you both listen to each other, be receptive to viewpoints. Since your husband had an affair [http://surviveemotionalphysicalaffairs.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-husband-had-affair-now-what-should-i.html], he should be receptive to your viewpoints more since you are the victim.
After all, your husband would not like it if the tables were turned, and you were instead, pregnant with a child that isn't his. He broke the wedding vows with the atrocious affair he had, and must take full responsibility for it.
Don't think that because your husband had an affair and there's a child he now has to look after, that your marriage is over. A marriage can emerge from this unfortunate situation stronger than ever if you and your husband consistently work towards it.
That Husband Of Yours, Is He The Baby's Real Father?
It is highly recommended that this question be answered at the earliest possible opportunity, since the ex-paramour may be lying about your husband being the child's father. She may not be able to find the real dad of her child, so she would try to make it look to your husband and yourself that he is the true father.
Find out once and for all whether your husband is the father of this child through a paternity test. Be prepared for the result. If the kid's father turns out to be another guy, then the relationship with you and your husband will be easier to repair, although he is far from being off the hook for having that affair in the first place. If the child is in fact his, remember that this mess with the affair already occurred and you can't alter the past. You're in a complicated situation and we will continue to discuss how best you can deal with it.
Communication needs to be stronger in your marriage, and more constructive for your marriage to survive. It will help for you two to have an understanding again, and will serve to bring you two emotionally closer once more.
Because your husband had an affair, and now has a child as a result, changes will be made to make way for the child. You have never been in this situation before (hopefully) and it will take a period of time to adapt to it. If your husband does not only support the child financially, he may play a more active role in the child's development. So there will be periods where communication takes place between your husband and the kid's mother to discuss the happenings of the child.
To make it easier, be around whenever they communicate in regards to the child. Let your husband know that these discussions must not go beyond the topic of the well-being of the kid. As a condition, you should be able to check emails, listen in on discussions over the phone etc. When it comes to getting the child in a shared custody situation, you may want to bring a trusted relative along to retrieve the child for your husband. You want to make sure that any time alone your husband has with the paramour is no more.
Transparency needs to be ever present in your marriage, along with honesty, healthy communication etc. No lies from either of you please. It is by no means easy, but you both need to spend time to discuss the unresolved issues in your marriage. It is important that you both listen to each other, be receptive to viewpoints. Since your husband had an affair [http://surviveemotionalphysicalaffairs.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-husband-had-affair-now-what-should-i.html], he should be receptive to your viewpoints more since you are the victim.
After all, your husband would not like it if the tables were turned, and you were instead, pregnant with a child that isn't his. He broke the wedding vows with the atrocious affair he had, and must take full responsibility for it.
Don't think that because your husband had an affair and there's a child he now has to look after, that your marriage is over. A marriage can emerge from this unfortunate situation stronger than ever if you and your husband consistently work towards it.
