Validating And Entering A Woman" s Personal World
By nature we are pretty self absorbed creatures. We wander about in our daily lives completely absorbed in our own issues. When we walk, talk, and make decisions throughout our day we are pretty much concerned with our own space and how to make that feel more comfortable and productive.
Of course, when we want to meet someone, we have to realize that they are also in their own personal space and we have to not only recognize that and honor it, but we also have to enter it with dignity. Otherwise, she will just keep on walking and she will never really know that we were ever there to begin with.
When you are referring to women in a bar or club situation, getting into that space isn't quite as difficult. She is there because she either wants to meet someone new or let her hair down and have a good time or because she feels that she needs a good distraction from her day. Our move into her space is already anticipated on some level, and thus she is more open to us approaching her and bringing her a little closer to our own world.
However, when we are interested in meeting or talking to a woman outside a highly social environment, the rules change. She is now focused on her business of the day and she is trying to meet the daily demands of other people. Infiltrating her personal wall of protection and self absorption isn't as easy. She is not anticipating it and so she is now more closed off, less likely to respond well. But this in no way means that you can't disrupt her normal pattern and interject your presence into her world.
In fact, doing so is not only likely to make you more available to her for more than a three minute conversation, but you are liable to really make her day special. Most women are tired of being caged behind their own wall and we really need to recognize the signals to being more open toward coming out from behind it.
Let's start with understanding the difference between being truly self absorbed in order to get through the day and being more closed off for personal reasons. It can be hard to tell when a woman is just getting her business done and when you might be next in line for her head chopping campaign because she is hot about something else.
Read her facial expressions and read her body language. Is she really closed off or is she just attentive to something else? When she walks by someone is she totally not even recognizing that there are other people in the world or is she at least able to say hello and smile on her way by? These are some basic indicators that can really help you understand where she is coming from and how to approach her or whether to not approach her at all.
I am going to make a little side note. When a woman is particularly distressed and you believe that you can be her knight in shining armor and really help her, you are going to be disappointed if you are doing so with expectation. If she hangs up after yelling on her cell phone and you see it as an opportunity to get your foot in her door, it isn't going to work. If you see it as an opportunity to genuinely help her and start up a line of communication, then that's more realistic.
Women who are really upset might talk to you for awhile, but just like when we are all into our own business, they aren't likely to switch on some button that indicates to them that they are sitting in front of a really great guy and they should just move past whatever is so distressing to them. Talk to her and help her through it, and be a gentleman and she will notice, but not enough to get her interested in you.
Women don't like to be patronized like that. Once you get to a point where you and she are talking her issue through and you ask her for her number, she is going to feel as though the time you just spent with her was rather patronizing and ingenuine. Not a good way to start off a new relationship.
If, however, the woman you are interested in seems like she is just going through her business of the day, you can interrupt that with a simple smile and a warm greeting. Stop and say hello and offer her a genuine compliment or observation. Give her a reason to let down her wall of daily duties if even for five little minutes to get to know who you are. If you see her everyday, say hello with a compliment every day for a week and see how well she warms up to you.
Letting her know that you recognize that she is already swamped with the day she has going on. Perhaps she is on her way somewhere and needs to get going or perhaps she just can't seem to pause for two seconds. Let her know you respect her time and all you want to do is to make her time a little bit brighter while she is here. By respecting the wall of business she is hiding behind, you can get her to come out from behind it faster and easier. Once you have expressed that you know she is busy, don't take a huge bite out of her day. Let her know what's on your mind and then let her go. If she really doesn't have to run, she's bound to stick around if you are making her feel good.
Developing relationships on the run isn't as hard as we make it out to be. Most single women want to meet a really great guy, either for fun or future, and are willing to take some time from their busy schedules to find out if she thinks you are a really great guy. Let her know where you are coming from and she will respond with the same degree of courtesy as you show.
Of course, when we want to meet someone, we have to realize that they are also in their own personal space and we have to not only recognize that and honor it, but we also have to enter it with dignity. Otherwise, she will just keep on walking and she will never really know that we were ever there to begin with.
When you are referring to women in a bar or club situation, getting into that space isn't quite as difficult. She is there because she either wants to meet someone new or let her hair down and have a good time or because she feels that she needs a good distraction from her day. Our move into her space is already anticipated on some level, and thus she is more open to us approaching her and bringing her a little closer to our own world.
However, when we are interested in meeting or talking to a woman outside a highly social environment, the rules change. She is now focused on her business of the day and she is trying to meet the daily demands of other people. Infiltrating her personal wall of protection and self absorption isn't as easy. She is not anticipating it and so she is now more closed off, less likely to respond well. But this in no way means that you can't disrupt her normal pattern and interject your presence into her world.
In fact, doing so is not only likely to make you more available to her for more than a three minute conversation, but you are liable to really make her day special. Most women are tired of being caged behind their own wall and we really need to recognize the signals to being more open toward coming out from behind it.
Let's start with understanding the difference between being truly self absorbed in order to get through the day and being more closed off for personal reasons. It can be hard to tell when a woman is just getting her business done and when you might be next in line for her head chopping campaign because she is hot about something else.
Read her facial expressions and read her body language. Is she really closed off or is she just attentive to something else? When she walks by someone is she totally not even recognizing that there are other people in the world or is she at least able to say hello and smile on her way by? These are some basic indicators that can really help you understand where she is coming from and how to approach her or whether to not approach her at all.
I am going to make a little side note. When a woman is particularly distressed and you believe that you can be her knight in shining armor and really help her, you are going to be disappointed if you are doing so with expectation. If she hangs up after yelling on her cell phone and you see it as an opportunity to get your foot in her door, it isn't going to work. If you see it as an opportunity to genuinely help her and start up a line of communication, then that's more realistic.
Women who are really upset might talk to you for awhile, but just like when we are all into our own business, they aren't likely to switch on some button that indicates to them that they are sitting in front of a really great guy and they should just move past whatever is so distressing to them. Talk to her and help her through it, and be a gentleman and she will notice, but not enough to get her interested in you.
Women don't like to be patronized like that. Once you get to a point where you and she are talking her issue through and you ask her for her number, she is going to feel as though the time you just spent with her was rather patronizing and ingenuine. Not a good way to start off a new relationship.
If, however, the woman you are interested in seems like she is just going through her business of the day, you can interrupt that with a simple smile and a warm greeting. Stop and say hello and offer her a genuine compliment or observation. Give her a reason to let down her wall of daily duties if even for five little minutes to get to know who you are. If you see her everyday, say hello with a compliment every day for a week and see how well she warms up to you.
Letting her know that you recognize that she is already swamped with the day she has going on. Perhaps she is on her way somewhere and needs to get going or perhaps she just can't seem to pause for two seconds. Let her know you respect her time and all you want to do is to make her time a little bit brighter while she is here. By respecting the wall of business she is hiding behind, you can get her to come out from behind it faster and easier. Once you have expressed that you know she is busy, don't take a huge bite out of her day. Let her know what's on your mind and then let her go. If she really doesn't have to run, she's bound to stick around if you are making her feel good.
Developing relationships on the run isn't as hard as we make it out to be. Most single women want to meet a really great guy, either for fun or future, and are willing to take some time from their busy schedules to find out if she thinks you are a really great guy. Let her know where you are coming from and she will respond with the same degree of courtesy as you show.
