Christian Dating Websites and the Profile Mistake Everybody Makes
Christian dating websites are just like any other kind of online dating service when it comes to creating your profile.
If you have signed up to a Christian dating website hoping for a miracle you may have a long wait.
Whenever I hear of Christians complaining that they have no luck on dating websites and start to wonder if God wants them to ever find a date, it reminds me of the old lottery ticket joke.
A man prays every week for God to help him win the lottery so he can build a Church in his area and every week the lottery goes by and he never wins.
In the end, out of desperation, the man cries out "God please help me to win the lottery this week so I can build your church! Why do you never help me?" The heavens open and a voice booms out of the sky saying "If you want me to help you win, at least meet me halfway and buy a ticket!" If you pray for guidance, God will help you find a partner but you have to meet him halfway.
Asking God to help you find a date but not signing up to a Christian dating website and correctly filling out your profile is like asking God to help you win the lottery but not bothering to buy a ticket.
The Christian dating website profile mistake everyone makes OK, the disclaimer comes first.
Not every Christian makes this mistake when filling in their profile on dating website but most do and they are the ones missing out on dates.
Whenever I hear of success stories, weddings of couples who met online using a Christian dating service, they are usually people who have learned to avoid this basic error.
What is this mistake? Let me explain it in this way.
If you go to the store looking to buy some furniture what do you see when you get there? In most stores you won't see the couch pushed up against blank wall.
No, you'll see the couch set up in a homely setting, a coffee table in front of it with some books on top and possibly a decorative basket filled with potpourri as well.
The store is trying to sell you the idea that you're not just buying something to take home and use but rather you are transforming your life in some way.
The product is displayed in such a way to make you think not "should I buy this couch?" but "imagine if I was the sort of person who lived in this room".
When holiday brochures advertise their weekend breaks, they don't just have maps and picture of the hotel, they show images of other people laughing and smiling.
What is being suggested to the reader is that they imagine what it would be like not just to visit this place but to be the sort of person that visits places like this.
In both examples we can see that businesses use this idea of transformation, of buying their products and seeing your life transformed.
You will have heard, even on Christian dating websites, it being recommended that you 'sell yourself'.
This is a rather unpleasant image, putting up a profile on a Christian dating website is not the same as putting yourself on sale.
But the expression gets close to the truth in a way.
Just like the store and holiday company, you need to put the idea of transformation in the minds of the people that visit your profile.
Why are you signed up to a Christian dating website yourself, if not to see your life transformed in some way? How do you go about this? When you fill out your profile don't just say what you are looking for as if you are creating a checklist for potential dates to see if they can give you what you want.
Talk about how you would like to see your life transformed.
If you want to share a meal with someone not noticing the time as you talk into the night like old friends then say so.
If you'd like to go for walks, explore new cities, or have picnics in the park then say this is what you'd like to do.
Talk about what you currently enjoy doing now but don't forget to say what you'd like to enjoy doing if you had a date.
In your profile picture, don't just have a shot of you against a blank background but one of you enjoying some kind of activity.
Research into dating websites has proved that women doing some kind of activity in their profile picture can significantly increase the number of contacts they receive.
Remember, when you fill out your profile you are creating a page for people looking for someone to transform their life with Christian partnership and not just someone to just fit into their existing life.
If you have signed up to a Christian dating website hoping for a miracle you may have a long wait.
Whenever I hear of Christians complaining that they have no luck on dating websites and start to wonder if God wants them to ever find a date, it reminds me of the old lottery ticket joke.
A man prays every week for God to help him win the lottery so he can build a Church in his area and every week the lottery goes by and he never wins.
In the end, out of desperation, the man cries out "God please help me to win the lottery this week so I can build your church! Why do you never help me?" The heavens open and a voice booms out of the sky saying "If you want me to help you win, at least meet me halfway and buy a ticket!" If you pray for guidance, God will help you find a partner but you have to meet him halfway.
Asking God to help you find a date but not signing up to a Christian dating website and correctly filling out your profile is like asking God to help you win the lottery but not bothering to buy a ticket.
The Christian dating website profile mistake everyone makes OK, the disclaimer comes first.
Not every Christian makes this mistake when filling in their profile on dating website but most do and they are the ones missing out on dates.
Whenever I hear of success stories, weddings of couples who met online using a Christian dating service, they are usually people who have learned to avoid this basic error.
What is this mistake? Let me explain it in this way.
If you go to the store looking to buy some furniture what do you see when you get there? In most stores you won't see the couch pushed up against blank wall.
No, you'll see the couch set up in a homely setting, a coffee table in front of it with some books on top and possibly a decorative basket filled with potpourri as well.
The store is trying to sell you the idea that you're not just buying something to take home and use but rather you are transforming your life in some way.
The product is displayed in such a way to make you think not "should I buy this couch?" but "imagine if I was the sort of person who lived in this room".
When holiday brochures advertise their weekend breaks, they don't just have maps and picture of the hotel, they show images of other people laughing and smiling.
What is being suggested to the reader is that they imagine what it would be like not just to visit this place but to be the sort of person that visits places like this.
In both examples we can see that businesses use this idea of transformation, of buying their products and seeing your life transformed.
You will have heard, even on Christian dating websites, it being recommended that you 'sell yourself'.
This is a rather unpleasant image, putting up a profile on a Christian dating website is not the same as putting yourself on sale.
But the expression gets close to the truth in a way.
Just like the store and holiday company, you need to put the idea of transformation in the minds of the people that visit your profile.
Why are you signed up to a Christian dating website yourself, if not to see your life transformed in some way? How do you go about this? When you fill out your profile don't just say what you are looking for as if you are creating a checklist for potential dates to see if they can give you what you want.
Talk about how you would like to see your life transformed.
If you want to share a meal with someone not noticing the time as you talk into the night like old friends then say so.
If you'd like to go for walks, explore new cities, or have picnics in the park then say this is what you'd like to do.
Talk about what you currently enjoy doing now but don't forget to say what you'd like to enjoy doing if you had a date.
In your profile picture, don't just have a shot of you against a blank background but one of you enjoying some kind of activity.
Research into dating websites has proved that women doing some kind of activity in their profile picture can significantly increase the number of contacts they receive.
Remember, when you fill out your profile you are creating a page for people looking for someone to transform their life with Christian partnership and not just someone to just fit into their existing life.
