Sexuality is a gift that is designed to bring us intense pleasure and sweet intimate contact with another.
However, in our stress-filled society, sexuality can be fraught with anxiety, frustration and our own private sense of shame and inadequacy.

• You're feeling romantic, sensual, loving and erotic.
  Your partner is obviously in the mood.
  Your conscious mind, your prefrontal cortex, is telling you to just relax and enjoy.
  But something is wrong.
  Your body does not seem to be responding.
  You don't feel aroused.
  
• You've connected with your partner.
  You're hugging, touching and caressing each other.
  You feel so comfortable kissing and snuggling.
  Your partner takes your hand to lead you into the bedroom and your body instantly seems to shut down.
  
• You've made it to the bedroom.
  Your partner looks so hot.
  You have been thinking about this moment for hours.
  Finally, the moment has arrived.
  All you can think about is making an excuse so you won't have to deal with the embarrassment of not keeping an erection (man) or being too dry and tense for penetration to occur (woman).
  
• You've been with your partner for an hour.
  You've touched and kissed and enjoyed the sexual intimacy.
  But now, you either pretend to have an orgasm or you make some lame excuse about how wonderful it has been but you're just so tired.
  

If any of the above situations are familiar to you, you are not alone.
When that little blue pill arrived, millions of men owned up to having erectile difficulties.
Some got these pills from their doctors.
Others found online sources.
Some told their partners; others did not.
And then the scientists at the bigdrug companies beganworking feverishly to create a little pink pill in the hopes of developing a huge female market to overcome "female sexual dysfunction.
" The real problem is the way we are viewing normal sexual functioning as a problem.
As men age, they require more manual stimulation to become aroused, to maintain arousal and to trigger release.
As women age and their hormone levels fluctuate, their vaginal tissues lose their elasticity and tone, and the vaginal walls become thinner and more vulnerable to tearing and soreness.
Medical conditions, such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis, might lower arousal and actually damage the nerves that control orgasm.
Hypertension, heart disease and chronic arthritis can certainly limit the sense of freedom and pleasure involved in the sexual act.
Prescription medications, alcohol as well as some of the illegal, recreational drugs, have been known to lower libido and interfere with healthy sexual functioning.
Even some mild pain relievers, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications can have an anti-sexual side effect.
And finally, stress alone, without any of the other factors, can lower libido, block arousal and interfere with orgasmic release.
Relationship stress or external factors that have nothing to do with the relationship (e.
g.
, work, family, financial) can play havoc with hormonal balance and neuromuscular tension.
What can you do now to avoid or eliminate these potential sexual problems?

• Communication, communication, communication - with your partner, with a sex therapist
• Relax, let go, and release neuromusuclar tension - with massage, jacuzzi, deep breathing
• Fantasize, focus on your fantasy, and let your conscious mind take a vacation
• Use a lubricant, erotic toys, or even sexual arousal enhancement products
• Practice kegel exercises, flexibility exercises, touching exercises and loving exercises
• Discover your unique sexual arousal pattern, your love map, and practice it
• Go to a urologist or gynecologist for a complete checkup and evaluation