So you think La Cala de Mijas, Spain might be for you? Probably not, but if you absolutely insist, then why don't you read on so we might change your mind.

1. Where are the all-night-long nightclubs?: There are none.
   While there are plenty of full service bars, pubs, lounges, dance clubs, and restaurants, the go-go clubs are sorely lacking.
   If walking home from the clubs, at 6 in the morning, is what you are looking for, then perhaps you should find a place closer to Fuengirola (10 minutes north-east) or Marbella (10 min south-west).
   
2. Lack of major hotel chains: Some people cannot travel to a destination that doesn't have a Hyatt, Hilton, Ritz-Carlton, or Four Seasons Hotel.
   Unfortunately for you, you won't be able to find any of these establishments in the area.
   However, if you are more interested in getting the Spanish experience, mingling with the locals at the restaurants, instead of ordering room service, then perhaps it might be worth reading on.
   There are plenty of choices for your accommodations in town, from self-catering vacation rental homes, to small hotels and hostels.
   
3. No skyscrapers: If you grew up in a major city, and can't feel at peace and relaxed without seeing the city from 20 floors above street level, then you are out of luck in La Cala.
   Some cities, such as Fuengirola, will have plenty of buildings that size, even right on the beach.
   Sure, it might take away from the charm of what once was a small fishing village, but chances are that you feel that it is SO worth it.
   The tallest building in La Cala is around 6 stories, away from downtown, and the beach still has all the original one and two story homes that were there years ago.
   
4. Uneven cobblestone streets and sidewalks: While the majority of the streets in town will have asphalt, concrete, or bricks, there are still some of the older parts of town that refuses to conform.
   Sure, you might be able to have a smooth ride on your scooter or wheelchair in 80% of town, but there are still those few streets that will be an extremely bumpy ride for you.
   These curvy, cobblestone streets might give you that old-world feel, and be hundreds of years old, but at what personal cost to you?!
5. Not a freshwater lake in sight!: Are you afraid of the sea creatures that you can find in saltwater? Do you hear the tuba sounds from the movie "Jaws" in your head, as soon as your big toe is submerged in saline? Are you afraid the salt will dry out your skin or your hair? Well, unfortunately La Cala does not have a single option available for you.
   This coastal fishing village is located right on the Mijas Costa shores of Costa del Sol.
   The Mediterranean Sea is full of sea life, which is evident to anyone who brings a snorkel and goggles to the beach.
   Perhaps an inland lake, such as Embalse del Conde de Guadalhorce is more for you and yours.
   
6. Too close to civilization.
   Not remote enough: Is your ideal destination a place where you and your group are the only people within miles and miles? Do you dream of just getting away from the cars and the sounds of the streets? Well, once again, it sounds like La Cala de Mijas will not be the ideal fit for you.
   You'll find it located just a 30 minute drive from the airport, well connected with public transportation, and having approximately 10,000 inhabitants.
   While many of the people only stay part-time in La Cala, you are sure to see people when you walk to the grocery store, beach, restaurants, and even on a late night stroll.
   
7. Too remote.
   Not a major city: You might also find yourself on the other side of the spectrum - You need the white noise of a London-sized town, along with everything that comes along with it, such as grid locked traffic, Starbucks Coffee on every street corner, multiple health spas within minutes from each other, and the new craze: Oxygen Bars.
   When the air is so filthy that you will gladly pay for some pure O2, and you like it, then unfortunately La Cala won't be for you.
   You'll find the air to be too clean, the traffic too light, and the lack of a single Starbucks shop will drive you nuts.
   While every single café in town will sell you a delightful cup of Café con Leche, it will never measure up to the bitter and burnt taste of Starbucks.
   
8. English as a 2nd language: If you only like to travel where everyone understand English, then you might have to skip Spain all together.
   Of course only an estimated 8% to 20% of the world's population can communicate in English as their first or second language, so you'll miss out on about 80% to 92% of the world.
   You will find that in Costa del Sol the majority of businesses that deal with tourists will have English as a 2nd language, and you can get yourself understood fairly easily.
   However, if you were to leave the coast and head inland, then you better hope that you remembered to bring the Spanish dictionary or phrase book.
   It is amazing that the people who don't speak English won't understand you even when you speak English super slow...
   
9. The roads are too crooked: Unfortunately the city planning department was not around when the Romans built the first roads in the region.
   Houses are located on streets that turn both right and left and rarely go in a straight line.
   If you have difficulties navigating around in areas like this, then please stay away.
   We wouldn't want to find your corpse on a cobblestone, bendy street in the middle of town.
   Sure the town is small, and has major landmarks, such as the old Moore tower, the Mediterranean Sea, and the A-7 (major road along the coast), but the areas in between require your brain to be firmly attached.
   It is very common that people leave their navigational and map reading skills at home, before they head to the airport, on the way to their holiday.
   

There might be a few people who are still reading, and who either disregarded the fierce criticism contained in warnings 1 through 9, or think that this town, La Cala de Mijas, might be the perfect place for them.
With its charm, warm & open people, and international cuisine, this once petite fishing village has blossomed into a favorite holiday destination for many curious travelers from around the world, while still maintaining its small-town feel.