How to Save a Relationship - Six Proven Steps
If you want to save a relationship that is in trouble, the key is restoring closeness.
When you hit a speed bump in your love life, it is time to step back and take stock of the situation.
There's all sorts of advice floating around on the internet and in self-help books, but here are six proven steps to save a relationship.
1- Discover What Went Wrong: Ask and (more importantly!) listen to what your spouse thinks about your relationship.
Don't argue.
Instead, put yourself in their shoes and take a close look at your behavior.
Maybe you don't think something is a big deal, but it may be an issue for them.
Marriage is all about give and take.
If your spouse thinks there is a problem, be willing to bend and compromise a little.
2- Forgive One Another: If you want to save a relationship, you have to be willing to move on.
Some of the best advice that can be given to new couples is to never hold a grudge.
Resentment and bad feelings can simmer beneath the surface for months or even years before coming to light.
And during that time, your marriage will be unsatisfying and frustrating.
Instead, when your spouse says they are sorry, forgive them and mean it.
3- Communicate: Going back to forgiveness...
you can't forgive if your spouse doesn't say they are sorry.
And your spouse can't say they are sorry if they don't know they have upset you.
So don't bottle it up inside.
Maybe your husband should understand that the comment he made about your outfit was a backhanded compliment, but the reality is that he is very dense.
Don't stew until he asks what's wrong.
Let him know up front that your feelings were hurt.
Once these little hurts and annoyances are out of the way, your marriage can grow.
But keeping them inside is a sure way to make both you and your spouse miserable.
4- Share Yourself Fully: In a marriage, two people become one.
While no one says you have to give up your individual identity for a relationship, a couple must be fully open with one another for their love to grow.
If you are trying to save a relationship, you cannot keep secrets.
You also cannot devote time and energy to other pursuits and friends who take away from your spouse.
Whether it is a flirty co-worker or a five night a week volunteer commitment, you should avoid anything that pulls significant emotion or time away from your husband or wife.
5- Respect Your Spouse: You don't have to agree with your spouse or even like everything they do, but you must respect their feelings and opinions.
We don't marry someone in order to make them our clone.
Our individual quirks and emotions are what make us special.
Learn to look at your spouse with the eyes of someone who values their unique qualities.
6 Rediscover Romance: When you are ferrying kids to football practice each night while working full-time and trying to put a healthy dinner on the table, it is understandable that couples don't always act like lovebirds.
However, to save a relationship, you must make an effort.
Let your spouse know you are thinking about them amid all the chaos of life.
When you are picking up bread at the store after work, grab a small bouquet of flowers for her.
Or drop a love note with a lipstick kiss in the lunch bag before he heads out in the morning.
These small gestures remind couples that they are still a priority to one another.
There are so many different tips and tricks out there to restore love in a marriage or relationship.
But the best way to save a relationship is to take the time to treat your partner like the valued and cherished person they are.
When you hit a speed bump in your love life, it is time to step back and take stock of the situation.
There's all sorts of advice floating around on the internet and in self-help books, but here are six proven steps to save a relationship.
1- Discover What Went Wrong: Ask and (more importantly!) listen to what your spouse thinks about your relationship.
Don't argue.
Instead, put yourself in their shoes and take a close look at your behavior.
Maybe you don't think something is a big deal, but it may be an issue for them.
Marriage is all about give and take.
If your spouse thinks there is a problem, be willing to bend and compromise a little.
2- Forgive One Another: If you want to save a relationship, you have to be willing to move on.
Some of the best advice that can be given to new couples is to never hold a grudge.
Resentment and bad feelings can simmer beneath the surface for months or even years before coming to light.
And during that time, your marriage will be unsatisfying and frustrating.
Instead, when your spouse says they are sorry, forgive them and mean it.
3- Communicate: Going back to forgiveness...
you can't forgive if your spouse doesn't say they are sorry.
And your spouse can't say they are sorry if they don't know they have upset you.
So don't bottle it up inside.
Maybe your husband should understand that the comment he made about your outfit was a backhanded compliment, but the reality is that he is very dense.
Don't stew until he asks what's wrong.
Let him know up front that your feelings were hurt.
Once these little hurts and annoyances are out of the way, your marriage can grow.
But keeping them inside is a sure way to make both you and your spouse miserable.
4- Share Yourself Fully: In a marriage, two people become one.
While no one says you have to give up your individual identity for a relationship, a couple must be fully open with one another for their love to grow.
If you are trying to save a relationship, you cannot keep secrets.
You also cannot devote time and energy to other pursuits and friends who take away from your spouse.
Whether it is a flirty co-worker or a five night a week volunteer commitment, you should avoid anything that pulls significant emotion or time away from your husband or wife.
5- Respect Your Spouse: You don't have to agree with your spouse or even like everything they do, but you must respect their feelings and opinions.
We don't marry someone in order to make them our clone.
Our individual quirks and emotions are what make us special.
Learn to look at your spouse with the eyes of someone who values their unique qualities.
6 Rediscover Romance: When you are ferrying kids to football practice each night while working full-time and trying to put a healthy dinner on the table, it is understandable that couples don't always act like lovebirds.
However, to save a relationship, you must make an effort.
Let your spouse know you are thinking about them amid all the chaos of life.
When you are picking up bread at the store after work, grab a small bouquet of flowers for her.
Or drop a love note with a lipstick kiss in the lunch bag before he heads out in the morning.
These small gestures remind couples that they are still a priority to one another.
There are so many different tips and tricks out there to restore love in a marriage or relationship.
But the best way to save a relationship is to take the time to treat your partner like the valued and cherished person they are.
