3 Signs Your Spouse Is Depressed, and What You Can Do To Help Them
Every marriage has good times and bad. When suffering bad times, it is easy for a spouse to get depressed. Depression just makes the trouble seem worse, but it doesn't have to hurt your marriage. Here are some signs of depression, and what to look for in your spouse. You can help them through this and save your marriage.
1. Anger or Frustration
One sign of depression is anger. Because this is also common in a marriage with problems, it is hard to decipher what the anger is coming from. When your spouse is depressed, they can get angry over nothing. Literally. Something on tv could hit them the wrong way, and they'll fly off the handle. That is what depression does to some people. When the anger turns into hostility, it's time to find help for your spouse.
2. Tiredness
If your spouse is tired all of the time, this is another common sign of depression. On the other hand, depression can restlessness. If your spouse is exhausted from work or other things, it probably isn't depression. But if they don't seem to want to get out of bed, or off of the couch, and that is something they normally don't do, then it is most likely depression.
Don't get angry with your spouse. They're not being lazy. They really can't help it. Talk to your spouse. See if there is a reason for their fatigue.
2. Sadness
Sadness is common in troubled marriages, but when your spouse never seems to be anything but sad, it is another sign of depression. Along with the sadness come feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
If your spouse starts talking like they aren't good enough, or that you don't want them anymore, or that you should leave and find someone better, then they're probably suffering from depression.
A depressed person will start to withdraw themselves from people and things they love. They don't want to do the things that they loved to do before. They have no desire to go anywhere, or see anyone.
Try to get your spouse out of the house. Get them to go for a walk with you, or take them on an errand with you.
When a person is truly depressed, they don't see what is happening to themselves. They don't see anything is wrong, and they don't understand why you are upset - if they even notice you're upset.
Don't get angry with them. They honestly don't know what's going on, the same as you. This is why a lot of depression goes untreated. Nobody knows it IS depression. The worst thing you could possibly do right now is to get angry.
Gently tell your spouse that you are worried. Ask them to go and see a doctor, to make sure everything is ok. If they won't then you caould try telling them that YOU need to see a doctor, and would like them to go with you.
Please don't think you have to talk your spouse into going to a therapist. That's not the case anymore - your regular family doctor, who your spouse already knows, can diagnose and treat depression. It is an illness - just like a stomach bug, or even cancer. Depression is an invisible illness that doctors can treat.
You did nothing to cause this. You spouse did nothing to cause this. It just happens to some of us. Different chemicals in the brain quit functioning like they're supposed to. It can be genetic, too.
Just because someone suffers from depression, doens't mean they will have it forever. There are many types of depression, and there are may ways to treat it.
The most important thing that you can do for your spouse is to be patient with them. If they have any of these signs, or are acting not like themselves in other ways, do what you can to support them. They need you now more than ever.
1. Anger or Frustration
One sign of depression is anger. Because this is also common in a marriage with problems, it is hard to decipher what the anger is coming from. When your spouse is depressed, they can get angry over nothing. Literally. Something on tv could hit them the wrong way, and they'll fly off the handle. That is what depression does to some people. When the anger turns into hostility, it's time to find help for your spouse.
2. Tiredness
If your spouse is tired all of the time, this is another common sign of depression. On the other hand, depression can restlessness. If your spouse is exhausted from work or other things, it probably isn't depression. But if they don't seem to want to get out of bed, or off of the couch, and that is something they normally don't do, then it is most likely depression.
Don't get angry with your spouse. They're not being lazy. They really can't help it. Talk to your spouse. See if there is a reason for their fatigue.
2. Sadness
Sadness is common in troubled marriages, but when your spouse never seems to be anything but sad, it is another sign of depression. Along with the sadness come feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
If your spouse starts talking like they aren't good enough, or that you don't want them anymore, or that you should leave and find someone better, then they're probably suffering from depression.
A depressed person will start to withdraw themselves from people and things they love. They don't want to do the things that they loved to do before. They have no desire to go anywhere, or see anyone.
Try to get your spouse out of the house. Get them to go for a walk with you, or take them on an errand with you.
When a person is truly depressed, they don't see what is happening to themselves. They don't see anything is wrong, and they don't understand why you are upset - if they even notice you're upset.
Don't get angry with them. They honestly don't know what's going on, the same as you. This is why a lot of depression goes untreated. Nobody knows it IS depression. The worst thing you could possibly do right now is to get angry.
Gently tell your spouse that you are worried. Ask them to go and see a doctor, to make sure everything is ok. If they won't then you caould try telling them that YOU need to see a doctor, and would like them to go with you.
Please don't think you have to talk your spouse into going to a therapist. That's not the case anymore - your regular family doctor, who your spouse already knows, can diagnose and treat depression. It is an illness - just like a stomach bug, or even cancer. Depression is an invisible illness that doctors can treat.
You did nothing to cause this. You spouse did nothing to cause this. It just happens to some of us. Different chemicals in the brain quit functioning like they're supposed to. It can be genetic, too.
Just because someone suffers from depression, doens't mean they will have it forever. There are many types of depression, and there are may ways to treat it.
The most important thing that you can do for your spouse is to be patient with them. If they have any of these signs, or are acting not like themselves in other ways, do what you can to support them. They need you now more than ever.
