Updated October 01, 2014.

If you are a caregiver taking care of a loved one who smokes, you may find yourself absolutely frantic with their ongoing dedication to their habit. Smokers who have cancer will continue to smoke. Smokers who have emphysema will continue to smoke. Smokers who have to smoke through a hole in their neck because of a past history of smoking….will continue to smoke.

How can you, as a caregiver, deal with a loved one who continues to smoke?

Tip #1: Safety first

The biggest rule of harm reduction is, well, to reduce harm. So consider the bigger safety factors first. Is your loved one smoking while using oxygen? We all know that's an excellent way to cause a very dangerous explosion that will impact not just your loved one but everyone in the area. Is your loved one falling asleep while smoking in bed? That too can very well end in disaster not just for them but for everyone who shares a roof with them.

These are the type of things that obviously need to be dealt with right away. The obvious answer to us might be that the person just needs to stop smoking, thus eliminated these major dangers and all the other (relative to this at least) minor health difficulties. Unfortunately, smoking is very addictive (see first paragraph) and so your loved one may simply not be ready. Provide other alteratives that are safer; can they be off oxygen enough to go outside (well outside) and have their cigarette? Can they switch to a nicotine patch or nicotine gum or use a stop smoking aid that allows them to still smoke while they are cutting down?

If your loved one is smoking in bed, provide a comfortable chair close to the bed with a substantial ashtray that you pick out with an eye for safety. For example, some ashtrays have automatic extinguishing features that kick in if a cigarette is left to burn too long. You can also treat the chair with flame retardant. Again, none of these solutions are ideal, but they are better than the alternative.

Tip #2: Ask Your Loved One to Eliminate The Cigarettes They Enjoy Less

For non smokers it's hard to understand, but smokers really really enjoy smoking. My brother in law, who quit smoking three years ago, will occasionally follow a stranger around at the supermarket to enjoy the smell of the secondhand smoke on their clothes. That's real love, or at the very least loyalty.

But if you ask most smokers which cigarette they really enjoy the most, many smokers will be able to tell you exactly which one it is; typically the first cigarette in the morning, or a cigarette with a cup of coffee after a meal. If smokers have a favorite cigarette, so the harm reduction reasoning goes, they also have cigarettes they enjoy less. Perhaps your loved one could agree to cut back on the cigarettes they enjoy less than others.

Tip #3 Make the Home Environment Hard to Smoke In

If you can't make a rule that your loved one can't smoke in your house, then ask them to confine their smoking to one room or even sitting in one chair in one room. Or ask them to smoke only on a screened in porch.

In addition, offer your loved ones things to do that keep their hands busy. Have an engaging puzzle out on the kitchen table, or start an ongoing arts and crafts products with your kids.