Imago"s Couples Therapy
What is Imago? oLatin word for image oAn unconscious profile of positive and negative traits in a partner.
The Goals of Imago Couples Therapy oTo align our conscious mind (which usually wants happiness and good feelings) with the agenda of the unconscious mind (which wants healing and growth).
oAssist clients in developing conscious, intimate, and committed relationships oHeal each others childhood wounds oTeach clients to embrace each other's original wholeness.
oHelp clients to visualize their Dream Relationship daily.
oTo Keep clients, and teach clients how to keep each other emotionally and physically safe at all times.
oWork to end all behaviors that avoid intimacy.
The goals for each Couple oTo devote caring behaviors on each other daily.
oGive each other surprises monthly.
oEnd all criticism oAsk directly for what they want.
oExpress all negative feelings appropriately.
The Role of the Therapist oTo intimately connect the partners with each other.
oAct more like a coach rather than developing a deep therapeutic relationship with the couple.
oHelp the couple develop skills to build communication and intimacy.
oTeach the couple to become more available to each other.
oFacilitate the couples dialogue using leading and stemming questions.
Theoretical Foundation The Basic Premise of Imago's Couples Therapy -States the Individual becomes wounded during early nurturing and socialization stage.
-The unconscious mind develops Composite images of positive and negative traits -The Client seeks an Imago match, someone who heals the unfinished business of childhood (for example if a parent wounded you by never being home, you might suffer feelings of abandonment and the partner you might select heals this wound by being ashamed in your relationship) When the Romantic Love Goes Wrong -Connections and communication fizzle -The Romantic phase they experienced when thy first got together - that euphoric feeling of completeness ruptures this may lead to a Power struggle: .
He is quiet, she experiences this as withdrawal.
.
She tries to get a response; he experiences this as nagging.
.
He walks away, she experiences this as abandonment.
.
She explodes in rage; he experiences this as an attack.
.
He fights back- it ends in tears and resentment.
The partners try to forgive and Repair their relationship.
Strive to become an integrated a couple using compromise and other adaptive skills Six Stages of Power Struggle: Shock DenialAngerBargaining DespairAcceptance Romantic love is Nature's Anesthesia The illusion of romantic love is that it blinds us to the negative aspects of our Imago choice.
-We enlist every tactic of denial to keep the bad news of our partner at arms length.
-Romantic love bonds us to our Imago match so we can stick around long enough to see if it works.
When does Romantic Love end? For many couples, this occurs when definite commitment is stated.
-Lovers want the expectation of need fulfillment and the reality of it as well.
-New hierarchy of expectations that are hidden from the couples awareness.
The Goals of Imago Couples Therapy oTo align our conscious mind (which usually wants happiness and good feelings) with the agenda of the unconscious mind (which wants healing and growth).
oAssist clients in developing conscious, intimate, and committed relationships oHeal each others childhood wounds oTeach clients to embrace each other's original wholeness.
oHelp clients to visualize their Dream Relationship daily.
oTo Keep clients, and teach clients how to keep each other emotionally and physically safe at all times.
oWork to end all behaviors that avoid intimacy.
The goals for each Couple oTo devote caring behaviors on each other daily.
oGive each other surprises monthly.
oEnd all criticism oAsk directly for what they want.
oExpress all negative feelings appropriately.
The Role of the Therapist oTo intimately connect the partners with each other.
oAct more like a coach rather than developing a deep therapeutic relationship with the couple.
oHelp the couple develop skills to build communication and intimacy.
oTeach the couple to become more available to each other.
oFacilitate the couples dialogue using leading and stemming questions.
Theoretical Foundation The Basic Premise of Imago's Couples Therapy -States the Individual becomes wounded during early nurturing and socialization stage.
-The unconscious mind develops Composite images of positive and negative traits -The Client seeks an Imago match, someone who heals the unfinished business of childhood (for example if a parent wounded you by never being home, you might suffer feelings of abandonment and the partner you might select heals this wound by being ashamed in your relationship) When the Romantic Love Goes Wrong -Connections and communication fizzle -The Romantic phase they experienced when thy first got together - that euphoric feeling of completeness ruptures this may lead to a Power struggle: .
He is quiet, she experiences this as withdrawal.
.
She tries to get a response; he experiences this as nagging.
.
He walks away, she experiences this as abandonment.
.
She explodes in rage; he experiences this as an attack.
.
He fights back- it ends in tears and resentment.
The partners try to forgive and Repair their relationship.
Strive to become an integrated a couple using compromise and other adaptive skills Six Stages of Power Struggle: Shock DenialAngerBargaining DespairAcceptance Romantic love is Nature's Anesthesia The illusion of romantic love is that it blinds us to the negative aspects of our Imago choice.
-We enlist every tactic of denial to keep the bad news of our partner at arms length.
-Romantic love bonds us to our Imago match so we can stick around long enough to see if it works.
When does Romantic Love end? For many couples, this occurs when definite commitment is stated.
-Lovers want the expectation of need fulfillment and the reality of it as well.
-New hierarchy of expectations that are hidden from the couples awareness.
