Ending An Affair Is Never Easy - 2 Necessary Steps
When a person is addicted to drugs, the drug gives, or gave, the person wonderful feelings. (That's why someone gets addicted in the first place.) Similarly, the affair gave you wonderful feelings at some point; that's why you got involved with it in the first place.
Likewise, the prospects of giving up the affair are similar to those of giving up a drug. You're going to feel all the feelings you were trying to avoid by engaging in the affair. When you are feeling down and out or when you are in emotional pain, the way of escape you became accustomed to won't be there.
Yes, ending an affair is never easy. It's no wonder that people are searching for advice on this problem everyday. Well, if you're reading this, you're probably one of those people who can't seem to find the right way to end an affair, for whatever reason.
1). You must have faith
that when you end the affair (just like when you stop using a drug) and you start working on yourself and your issues, at some future time you will be in better shape and feel better than you ever have. You might not be having that experience at this moment, but keep the faith, and you can get there. In drug programs, they call this long-term process "recovery," and it has to be a life-long plan.
If you haven't ended the affair, now is the time to do so. There simply is no way that you can repair your relationship, your honesty, your integrity, and your life if you are still engaged in an affair.
2) Another thing you need to do is be direct.
Don't beat around the bush. A simple "This isn't working" is the best approach. And then, explain why. Let the other person know why the affair isn't working out. If you can give some clear, plain facts, it won't make it any less painful, but it will be a lot easier to accept. A simple, "I just want to end it" isn't going to go over well. But a well thought out explanation will go a long way. People actually appreciate directness. They don't like to be strung along for the duration.
The message you are trying to get across should be permanent, not temporary. For example, you shouldn't say, "I'm going to try to make our relationship work for now." Instead, you should say, "I am recommitting to my partner. Do not contact me again for any reason." Doing these things will show your partner in a tangible way that you are ending the relationship.
If you want more info on this subject, check out the link in my signature. It is a review of a great resource that I think will help you a lot.
Saying goodbye is never easy...but this should help.
Likewise, the prospects of giving up the affair are similar to those of giving up a drug. You're going to feel all the feelings you were trying to avoid by engaging in the affair. When you are feeling down and out or when you are in emotional pain, the way of escape you became accustomed to won't be there.
Yes, ending an affair is never easy. It's no wonder that people are searching for advice on this problem everyday. Well, if you're reading this, you're probably one of those people who can't seem to find the right way to end an affair, for whatever reason.
1). You must have faith
that when you end the affair (just like when you stop using a drug) and you start working on yourself and your issues, at some future time you will be in better shape and feel better than you ever have. You might not be having that experience at this moment, but keep the faith, and you can get there. In drug programs, they call this long-term process "recovery," and it has to be a life-long plan.
If you haven't ended the affair, now is the time to do so. There simply is no way that you can repair your relationship, your honesty, your integrity, and your life if you are still engaged in an affair.
2) Another thing you need to do is be direct.
Don't beat around the bush. A simple "This isn't working" is the best approach. And then, explain why. Let the other person know why the affair isn't working out. If you can give some clear, plain facts, it won't make it any less painful, but it will be a lot easier to accept. A simple, "I just want to end it" isn't going to go over well. But a well thought out explanation will go a long way. People actually appreciate directness. They don't like to be strung along for the duration.
The message you are trying to get across should be permanent, not temporary. For example, you shouldn't say, "I'm going to try to make our relationship work for now." Instead, you should say, "I am recommitting to my partner. Do not contact me again for any reason." Doing these things will show your partner in a tangible way that you are ending the relationship.
If you want more info on this subject, check out the link in my signature. It is a review of a great resource that I think will help you a lot.
Saying goodbye is never easy...but this should help.
