Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo

I don't mingle to guys trying too hard to "say the right thing" to women.

This kind of mindset will only hold you back, and will clog your mind from being creative and in the moment.

At the same time, you don't want to say the WRONG THING.

This has screwed me over many times. I was getting along great with a woman, she was all over me, and I could see messed up sheets in our near future.

And then I made some bone-head move and I could see the attraction flow right down the drain.

It's funny, when attraction is killed, it actually looks like light is being flushed from a woman's face - so it literally goes "down the drain."

Now if this has happened to you, don't get mad at yourself. We all mistakes.

I think of mistakes as brain-food. It's this attitude that has kept me going, and allowed me to learn as much as I have.

Also I admit I look back on missed opportunities with regret.

There was a magazine in Men's Health last year that asked old men, close to death, what their biggest regret in life was.

Way ahead of the other answers, number one was "I didn't sleep with all the women I could have."

Imagine that - you'll be on your deathbed thinking of all that thing you DIDN'T have.

Not much different than right now is it?

Let's do something about that.

First of all, I talk about women having attraction cues. These are character traits that men display, which convey survival and healthy genes.

These are traits like leadership, authority, intrigue, dominance, credibility, etc.

A woman must feel safe with a man, but also feel that he is in control and has a successful future ahead of him.

She will want to bond with this man, and also, to have his babies, which is essentially what being turned-on is all about.

When a woman gets aroused, she may not be thinking "I want his babies," but that's what her body is getting ready for.

And horniness and attraction are intertwined. They are almost the same, except for a couple things.

A girl can be attracted to a guy, and want to sleep with him, but she won't because she fears CONSEQUENCES.

There are certain consequences a woman may face when sleeping with a man. The lack of these consequences, combined with exhibiting attraction cues, is the way for same-night pulls, and rapid escalation in bed.

If you want to hook up with a girl without wasting any time, you need to understand how consequences work in her mind.

She is afraid of certain things, for example, social consequences, STD's, and even bad in bed.

Now it wouldn't work if you said outright, "Hey I don't have STD's, and I won't tell anyone we slept together, and I am great in bed."

She won't believe you.

You have to convey this stuff implicitly through natural conversation.

For example, if you want to convey that she won't face social consequences (by being labeled easy or promiscuous), try this:

Talk about how a female friend of yours complained of this, and how you think it's sad that women are judged so harshly for doing what is natural and healthy.

Try to go into social dynamics and how to use natural, calibrated conversation, with PURPOSE.

Most guys walk up and talk about lame, irrelevant, useless crap.

Turn your conversational ability into a laser beam that shoots straight to where you're going, whether it be to take her home that night, or to create a powerful connection so she'll actually be happy when you call her!