Do You Play Games With Your Man?
Men like games, because they love the competition, but do NOT compete with him.
Men actually feel good about themselves when they're competing, but any time you are competing (even in board games) with the romantic partner in your life, it is a big mistake.
Men like competition at work, when they're competing for the promotion.
They like competition in sporting events and that's good.
However, the minute you start competing with him, he stops seeing you as his "love interest" and instead, he sees you as a rival or the enemy he must conquer.
He quits taking care of your needs, because now he is competing with you.
During the game, the goal is not to make you feel good; the goal is for him to win at all costs.
Arguing is a form of competition.
When men are involved in an argument, all that may matter to him is that he wins.
Men instinctually want to fight to the death and nothing else matters at the time.
So if you are arguing with your partner, you need to decide whether it is more important to win or to get your needs met.
Keeping this in mind, here is an example of how to have an argument with a man.
Mike and Sienna take turns bringing home take-out for dinner on Friday nights.
Sienna is at home waiting because it was Mike's turn to get the food.
He shows up without dinner and says to her, "It was your turn.
" She says, "No it wasn't.
I got Chinese last Friday.
You were supposed to bring home pizza tonight.
" He says, "No, I got last week's.
It's your turn.
" And now the argument starts to escalate.
He said/she said.
She knows she's right, but he says, "I got food last week.
It's your turn.
I'm hungry; you need to go get dinner, blah, blah, blah.
" And they're arguing back and forth.
Where's this going to end? Nowhere.
He will not back down.
A man just doesn't do that.
But we've got this argument.
What can we do to make this better? Ask yourself this, "What is the end result that I really want?" You want food! Oh my god, you just want food.
So what difference does it make who is right? So, knowing this fact, that men like to compete, you know what you really want is to just to eat.
What if you say to him, "You're right.
" And then you say, "But I'm really tired.
Would you mind going to get the food for my turn this week?" What would happen? He would be the hero! And when he feels like a hero, he treats you like a princess.
He would love to go get the food now.
I know what you're thinking, "I refuse to tell him he's right when I know I'm right.
I just can't do that.
" Well, since we know men like to compete, and sometimes they fight to the death to win, instead of thinking about who is right or wrong, think about what he can do to meet your needs.
We know this man was wrong about bringing home the dinner, but her ultimate goal is to have food, not to be right.
If you make a man wrong, if you make him feel bad, if you take away his hero status, do you think he's going to want to do anything nice for you? No way! So, here's the big question when it comes to arguing.
Is it better to be right or feel right? Lesson from the book, "Man Facts": Never compete with your man.
Stop trying to win the argument.
When you can make him the hero, he will make you the princess.
And both partners win!
Men actually feel good about themselves when they're competing, but any time you are competing (even in board games) with the romantic partner in your life, it is a big mistake.
Men like competition at work, when they're competing for the promotion.
They like competition in sporting events and that's good.
However, the minute you start competing with him, he stops seeing you as his "love interest" and instead, he sees you as a rival or the enemy he must conquer.
He quits taking care of your needs, because now he is competing with you.
During the game, the goal is not to make you feel good; the goal is for him to win at all costs.
Arguing is a form of competition.
When men are involved in an argument, all that may matter to him is that he wins.
Men instinctually want to fight to the death and nothing else matters at the time.
So if you are arguing with your partner, you need to decide whether it is more important to win or to get your needs met.
Keeping this in mind, here is an example of how to have an argument with a man.
Mike and Sienna take turns bringing home take-out for dinner on Friday nights.
Sienna is at home waiting because it was Mike's turn to get the food.
He shows up without dinner and says to her, "It was your turn.
" She says, "No it wasn't.
I got Chinese last Friday.
You were supposed to bring home pizza tonight.
" He says, "No, I got last week's.
It's your turn.
" And now the argument starts to escalate.
He said/she said.
She knows she's right, but he says, "I got food last week.
It's your turn.
I'm hungry; you need to go get dinner, blah, blah, blah.
" And they're arguing back and forth.
Where's this going to end? Nowhere.
He will not back down.
A man just doesn't do that.
But we've got this argument.
What can we do to make this better? Ask yourself this, "What is the end result that I really want?" You want food! Oh my god, you just want food.
So what difference does it make who is right? So, knowing this fact, that men like to compete, you know what you really want is to just to eat.
What if you say to him, "You're right.
" And then you say, "But I'm really tired.
Would you mind going to get the food for my turn this week?" What would happen? He would be the hero! And when he feels like a hero, he treats you like a princess.
He would love to go get the food now.
I know what you're thinking, "I refuse to tell him he's right when I know I'm right.
I just can't do that.
" Well, since we know men like to compete, and sometimes they fight to the death to win, instead of thinking about who is right or wrong, think about what he can do to meet your needs.
We know this man was wrong about bringing home the dinner, but her ultimate goal is to have food, not to be right.
If you make a man wrong, if you make him feel bad, if you take away his hero status, do you think he's going to want to do anything nice for you? No way! So, here's the big question when it comes to arguing.
Is it better to be right or feel right? Lesson from the book, "Man Facts": Never compete with your man.
Stop trying to win the argument.
When you can make him the hero, he will make you the princess.
And both partners win!
