The Infidelity Surviving Secret: How to Respond to an Affair In Marriage
If there is any thing that is bad to a relationship then it would be infidelity. There will be a flood of emotions that will hit you, all at once, which is very hard to deal with. Now you will have to get your head straight and focus on what is important. If you are feeling so emotional you will not be able to take a rational decision about your future.
The first step is to realize that things are complicated, don't try to realize. Trying to figure out why they behaved this way is not something you should do as it is waste of time. It is not your fault. You did not do something that caused them to cheat on you. It's never okay for someone to go beyond of their relationship to solve problems within a relationship. Your partner should try to solve those problems with you, not focusing their vigor towards another person. You do not deserve to be cheated on, and by defiling the sanctity of your marriage, your partner has broken something that can only be fixed by someone who is truly changed and inclined to make major changes.
Time does not heal all wounds. By deciding to forget and move on you are not going towards recovery. You have to make a commitment to the emotional burden behind the infidelity; fix the problem don't just forget what happened. If your partner wants back into the relationship, they must earn it. You should work towards a new relationship built on rules that work for both of you. Plus, you were betrayed which caused you to loose trust in your partner. They have to realise that. You likewise require to understand that although you can not trust your partner now, in the future, you will need to find a way to trust them again. It is essential for you to move on with your life.
By staying in the relationship, you are making a choice to work it out. You are not going to be protecting anyone by withholding who you are. You can not control your partner's behaviour. Staying in the relationship means not punishing them for the rest of your lives. Both of you must make an effort to make things better.
There might come a time when you decide to just stop being angry, "Thats it then. I am done. It is over, I am not angry at you anymore. I withdraw my feelings. I can not do this anymore, this is simply just not who I am." Kids would rather be from a crushed home than live in one. They are much better off with one well-adjusted, bright, flourishing parent than they are with two who are adulterous, lying, fighting, and living with stress and pressure. Know this, you are better of alone if it is what makes you feel better.
The first step is to realize that things are complicated, don't try to realize. Trying to figure out why they behaved this way is not something you should do as it is waste of time. It is not your fault. You did not do something that caused them to cheat on you. It's never okay for someone to go beyond of their relationship to solve problems within a relationship. Your partner should try to solve those problems with you, not focusing their vigor towards another person. You do not deserve to be cheated on, and by defiling the sanctity of your marriage, your partner has broken something that can only be fixed by someone who is truly changed and inclined to make major changes.
Time does not heal all wounds. By deciding to forget and move on you are not going towards recovery. You have to make a commitment to the emotional burden behind the infidelity; fix the problem don't just forget what happened. If your partner wants back into the relationship, they must earn it. You should work towards a new relationship built on rules that work for both of you. Plus, you were betrayed which caused you to loose trust in your partner. They have to realise that. You likewise require to understand that although you can not trust your partner now, in the future, you will need to find a way to trust them again. It is essential for you to move on with your life.
By staying in the relationship, you are making a choice to work it out. You are not going to be protecting anyone by withholding who you are. You can not control your partner's behaviour. Staying in the relationship means not punishing them for the rest of your lives. Both of you must make an effort to make things better.
There might come a time when you decide to just stop being angry, "Thats it then. I am done. It is over, I am not angry at you anymore. I withdraw my feelings. I can not do this anymore, this is simply just not who I am." Kids would rather be from a crushed home than live in one. They are much better off with one well-adjusted, bright, flourishing parent than they are with two who are adulterous, lying, fighting, and living with stress and pressure. Know this, you are better of alone if it is what makes you feel better.
