One of the most important choices anyone makes in life is whom they spend their time with.
The people we surround ourselves with will end up having influence on every area of our lives.
Have you ever noticed that you may be having a wonderful day and feel very happy until someone who is being very negative comes around you and brings you down? This is magnified when it is someone you know personally and especially if it is someone close to you.
However, the opposite is also true.
You could start out having a pretty awful day, but due to a random act of kindness, you may find yourself feeling more optimistic and joyful.
There is great power in choosing positive and loving people to be in your life.
Some people move through this world with negative opinions about almost everything, constantly complaining, putting others down, cursing at people as they drive, and generally taking a pessimistic view of the world.
These individuals pinpoint everything that is wrong with the world around them, even though they may have difficulty seeing what lies within them.
People like this have the power to influence us in very negative ways.
The most important reason to be careful about who we spend time with is that we can internalize someone's words or non-verbal messages so that they become a part of our own thoughts.
When this takes place, it magnifies the influence of that message immensely because we carry it around with us and replay it even when the individual is not present.
If this person is constantly critical of us, we may second guess ourselves, put ourselves down, and develop feelings of unworthiness or self-loathing.
These can cause us to make poor choices in regards to how we take care of ourselves and what kinds of relationships we allow ourselves to be in.
If the individual is not attacking us personally, but is generally negative and cynical about people's motives, we may find that spending time with this person brings on depression or anxiety for us.
Let us not forget that the non-verbal communication we receive from people such as tone of voice, facial expression, touch, and body language matter too! Tone of voice can be used to infuse words with meaning that they would not have if you read them on paper.
Combinations of non-verbal communication used with or without words can convey messages such as: You are boring me and not worth my time; What you have to say fascinates me; I am moved by what you are sharing; I am angry with you!; You better do what I want you to or I'm going to hurt you; What you are saying is ridiculous; You are stupid; That's an interesting thought, but I disagree; I am impressed by what you say; What you are saying makes a lot of sense--it makes me realize something; You are humorous; You are sweet; You are disgusting; You are beneath me; I put you on a pedestal; I approve; I disapprove; I love you; I hate you, and so on, endlessly.
We need to take a look at our everyday relationships with friends, co-workers, family members, spouses, and even new acquaintances.
I urge you to examine your relationships one-by-one.
Ask yourself these questions: What kinds of messages does this person send me about myself and my situation in the world? Am I being abused? Does the dynamic of the relationship draw out my best or my worst qualities? Do I like who I am when I am with this person? Do I feel brought down, lifted up, or neutral after spending time with this individual? Does this person use his or her proximity, touch or gestures in a way that is intimidating and demeaning or respectful, loving and supportive? Every human being is valuable; however, not every relationship functions in a way that is beneficial to the parties involved.
This is why we each need to take inventory of our lives and evaluate which relationships are "Keepers" and which are "Tossers.
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