Self-acceptance Helps People With Low Self-esteem
Like many beneficial habits worth acquiring, developing self-acceptance is not always an easy task. It's necessary to practice and work persistently in order to develop successful self-acceptance skills.
A psychological treatment technique known as cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to help people who suffer from low self-esteem. It actually changes the way people think about themselves and it makes your "self-talk" much more positive. What is self-talk? As you go about your daily tasks and activities don't you spend time with thoughts running through your mind and frequently these are evaluative thoughts? For example "I did this really well" or "I'm a complete failure because...". That is what psychologists refer to as self talk. A major goal of cognitive behavioral therapy is to change self-talk. Persons with low self-esteem frequently have very negative self-talk and some persons have been assessed with having 90% of their daily thinking categorized as negatively judgmental toward themselves.
How does cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) do this? Although each therapist may have a slightly different approach to applying this technique, changing the way we think about ourselves is one of the major goals.
One of the first interventions that a CBT therapist will do is to begin looking for all encompassing or "global" labels. When people evaluate themselves negatively and perceive themselves as stupid, or failures, these are the very thoughts that will be addressed in therapy. A major goal will be to change self-assessment. Before you put yourself down and classify yourself as a failure it is important to answer the following questions: "in what specific way have I failed?" "In what specific way have I acted foolishly?" We will see that this line of thinking produces a focus on individual acts of the person. They specifically counter a global way of perceiving yourself. You will then be able to tell yourself, "well, I didn't do this particular task to the best of my ability and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to - but that one task doesn't make me a failure". At the end of the day you might want to write down in a journal positive things that happened to you during the day and activities that you performed to bring about the positive outcomes. You will then be able to have a balanced picture of yourself - neither failure nor all knowing and superior - rather you will see a series of positives and negatives which characterized the way you performed during the day. And this agrees with what most therapists know; that is, that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. This technique helps a person with low self-esteem began to see themselves realistically as a balance of positive and negative.
Be aware of what you are thinking in addition to what you are saying. If you don't think you are a failure then stop having those thoughts! What we think about frequently leads to feelings and then actions. If you change your thought patterns, your feelings will change and your actions will change also. And most importantly, your perception of yourself will change. Studies have shown that people can actually control the thoughts that they are having. It's not easy, but with practice it can be done. Apply this new technique, perfect the skill of positive self-talk, and watch your self-esteem improve on a daily basis.
A psychological treatment technique known as cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to help people who suffer from low self-esteem. It actually changes the way people think about themselves and it makes your "self-talk" much more positive. What is self-talk? As you go about your daily tasks and activities don't you spend time with thoughts running through your mind and frequently these are evaluative thoughts? For example "I did this really well" or "I'm a complete failure because...". That is what psychologists refer to as self talk. A major goal of cognitive behavioral therapy is to change self-talk. Persons with low self-esteem frequently have very negative self-talk and some persons have been assessed with having 90% of their daily thinking categorized as negatively judgmental toward themselves.
How does cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) do this? Although each therapist may have a slightly different approach to applying this technique, changing the way we think about ourselves is one of the major goals.
One of the first interventions that a CBT therapist will do is to begin looking for all encompassing or "global" labels. When people evaluate themselves negatively and perceive themselves as stupid, or failures, these are the very thoughts that will be addressed in therapy. A major goal will be to change self-assessment. Before you put yourself down and classify yourself as a failure it is important to answer the following questions: "in what specific way have I failed?" "In what specific way have I acted foolishly?" We will see that this line of thinking produces a focus on individual acts of the person. They specifically counter a global way of perceiving yourself. You will then be able to tell yourself, "well, I didn't do this particular task to the best of my ability and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to - but that one task doesn't make me a failure". At the end of the day you might want to write down in a journal positive things that happened to you during the day and activities that you performed to bring about the positive outcomes. You will then be able to have a balanced picture of yourself - neither failure nor all knowing and superior - rather you will see a series of positives and negatives which characterized the way you performed during the day. And this agrees with what most therapists know; that is, that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. This technique helps a person with low self-esteem began to see themselves realistically as a balance of positive and negative.
Be aware of what you are thinking in addition to what you are saying. If you don't think you are a failure then stop having those thoughts! What we think about frequently leads to feelings and then actions. If you change your thought patterns, your feelings will change and your actions will change also. And most importantly, your perception of yourself will change. Studies have shown that people can actually control the thoughts that they are having. It's not easy, but with practice it can be done. Apply this new technique, perfect the skill of positive self-talk, and watch your self-esteem improve on a daily basis.
