What Men Want - No 1: We Want To Be Committed To You!
If you've been desperately trying to figure out what men want, will it surprise you to know that he wants to be committed to you? The only reason he hasn't gone ahead and made the move is revealed below...
"The Relationship Doctor" Bob Grant, L.
P.
C.
says that men have to be able to experience pain in a relationship to grow.
I can certainly vouch for that.
Here's what my girlfriend did to get me to commit to her.
Funny story, actually.
I misunderstood the meaning of "seeing" a girl and "dating" her; even though I considered us dating ages ago, she wanted that verbal recognition.
That's when I told friends I was dating her, she became upset and wouldn't talk to me.
She thought that I was just a player and there to break her heart, giving her false hope when really I wasn't firmly committed in the first place.
She told me via IM online: "you know, maybe it's better we should be better of just as friends.
You seem busy and everything...
" and she started reeling off a list of reasons why we shouldn't be together.
See what she did there? She took away my choice to decide whether I could start dating her or not (officially, anyway).
That sense of loss was more painful than anything else and made me pursue her.
I ended up calling her on the phone and explaining everything to her and a week later, I told her I was committed to her.
We've been together for more than 3 years now.
Just remember that in general for anything in life, if you ever want something and you are trying to motivate yourself to go and get it, it's far more effective trying hard to not lose something than it is to try and get something.
For example, the feeling of loss of the ability to be able to decide whether I could date my now wife was more of a powerful motivator than say, actually persuading my now wife to date me back then.
People get discouraged if they have the latter form of motivation, whereas people would sometimes do anything to keep whatever it is they have.
So ladies, us guys will always have good reasons to be with you.
What men want secretly is a bit of a shock, just so we can prove to ourselves that we're in it for the long haul.
"The Relationship Doctor" Bob Grant, L.
P.
C.
says that men have to be able to experience pain in a relationship to grow.
I can certainly vouch for that.
Here's what my girlfriend did to get me to commit to her.
Funny story, actually.
I misunderstood the meaning of "seeing" a girl and "dating" her; even though I considered us dating ages ago, she wanted that verbal recognition.
That's when I told friends I was dating her, she became upset and wouldn't talk to me.
She thought that I was just a player and there to break her heart, giving her false hope when really I wasn't firmly committed in the first place.
She told me via IM online: "you know, maybe it's better we should be better of just as friends.
You seem busy and everything...
" and she started reeling off a list of reasons why we shouldn't be together.
See what she did there? She took away my choice to decide whether I could start dating her or not (officially, anyway).
That sense of loss was more painful than anything else and made me pursue her.
I ended up calling her on the phone and explaining everything to her and a week later, I told her I was committed to her.
We've been together for more than 3 years now.
Just remember that in general for anything in life, if you ever want something and you are trying to motivate yourself to go and get it, it's far more effective trying hard to not lose something than it is to try and get something.
For example, the feeling of loss of the ability to be able to decide whether I could date my now wife was more of a powerful motivator than say, actually persuading my now wife to date me back then.
People get discouraged if they have the latter form of motivation, whereas people would sometimes do anything to keep whatever it is they have.
So ladies, us guys will always have good reasons to be with you.
What men want secretly is a bit of a shock, just so we can prove to ourselves that we're in it for the long haul.
