How to Handle Other Guys When You Are Attempting to Attract a Woman
When you're out playing the attraction and seduction game, the chances are you're going to find yourself approaching mixed groups.
These are small groups of people, usually 3-6, that contain girls and guys.
To stand the best chance of building sexual chemistry with one or more of the girls in these groups, you need to adapt your style and method in a special way.
First you need to effectively get the guys in the group on your side, liking you and enjoying your company, then - and only then - you're free to work on the girls and get them attracted to you.
Too many guys make the mistake of not addressing the issue of existing male competition properly, and their openers and conversations with the girls they're interested in getting to know are doomed as a result - and they're usually oblivious to the real reason they failed: the guys they neglected to first win over.
Here's why befriending guys in mixed groups is so important.
It all revolves around a central theme of respect and threat.
Imagine you're with some friends.
There's you, two of your guy friends, one of your female friends and two other girls who you only know a little bit - they're friends of friends.
You're out drinking and socializing, having a good time.
A guy walks towards your group and sparks up a conversation with your female friend.
You can't hear much of what he's saying but you can tell he's not just asking the time or for directions to the bathroom.
Oh well, you leave them to it for a couple of minutes.
A little time passes and, glancing back over, you see that this guy's still standing there talking to your female friend.
He's hitting on her - he must be.
Now, most men in this situation would start to get a little annoyed at this guy who's just introduced himself to their female friend.
He's pretty much barged in, thinking he can do what he wants.
They may not think so consciously, in those exact words, but the feeling no doubt flashes through their minds.
The seed is planted.
They have no reason to like this stranger.
If anything, they dislike him a little, without even really knowing it.
After all, this guy's broken up the dynamic of their group a little with his self-initiated introduction.
It's a safe bet that, nine times out of ten, if this situation occurred in real life the guy's chances of successfully attracting, talking to and closing the girl would be severely limited by the girl's male friends, simply because he didn't befriend them first.
In one way or another, they'd probably thwart his efforts, either by interrupting his conversation or by simply being socially hostile to him in some other way.
So, how do you avoid this problem? How do you get guys on your side? Here's how: - Remember that when you approach a mixed set, the guys in it will be subconsciously evaluating you.
They'll be looking to see if you're showing them signs of respect or disrespect, and if you're a threat to them.
The best way to make them feel good on both of these points is to focus no more intently on the girls than you do them, at least for the first five or ten minutes.
Talk to the guys just as much as you talk to the girls and do it in a fairly similar way.
Be just as friendly, open and charismatic.
Clearly you shouldn't flirt with them, but you shouldn't really be openly and flagrantly flirting with the girls either, at least not right at the start of your interaction with the group.
- Guys don't mind you talking to their female friends as long as they like you and think you're a decent guy.
If you come across as sleazy or seedy, they'll be extremely hostile to the idea of you chatting to their friends.
If you're friendly and non-threatening, they won't mind at all.
- Something you should never do when you approach a mixed set is "alpha male" one or more of the guys.
"Alpha maling" is when a guy consciously or subconsciously sucks value from another guy while in front of women.
For example: Two guys are in a mixed set and one says to the other, in earshot of the girls: "When are you gonna start driving though? I can't be your chauffeur forever!" Even said playfully, this kind of comment makes the guy who's receiving it look and/or feel of lower value then the guy who's giving it.
So always make sure you don't alpha male any guys in a mixed set in any way.
Genuinely try to make them your friends - it's the best way.
- Another great reason to befriend guys in mixed groups, apart from the fact that doing so removes them as obstacles between you and the girl or girls you're interested in attracting, is because it makes you seem genuinely friendly, confident and socially intelligent - all traits women find alluring and attractive.
When they see that you can make friends with people who are already in their "tribe" you demonstrate that you're of high value and therefore a viable and positive option as a mate.
A final tip on how to befriend guys in mixed sets is as follows.
Play the same fun games with the guys as those you play with the girls.
Personality tests, small bets...
whatever it is, spread the fun evenly between the guys and girls to start with.
Then, a little later once you've got the guys on your side, you're free to isolate one or two of the girls and concentrate on flirting and playing with them more intently and closely.
These are small groups of people, usually 3-6, that contain girls and guys.
To stand the best chance of building sexual chemistry with one or more of the girls in these groups, you need to adapt your style and method in a special way.
First you need to effectively get the guys in the group on your side, liking you and enjoying your company, then - and only then - you're free to work on the girls and get them attracted to you.
Too many guys make the mistake of not addressing the issue of existing male competition properly, and their openers and conversations with the girls they're interested in getting to know are doomed as a result - and they're usually oblivious to the real reason they failed: the guys they neglected to first win over.
Here's why befriending guys in mixed groups is so important.
It all revolves around a central theme of respect and threat.
Imagine you're with some friends.
There's you, two of your guy friends, one of your female friends and two other girls who you only know a little bit - they're friends of friends.
You're out drinking and socializing, having a good time.
A guy walks towards your group and sparks up a conversation with your female friend.
You can't hear much of what he's saying but you can tell he's not just asking the time or for directions to the bathroom.
Oh well, you leave them to it for a couple of minutes.
A little time passes and, glancing back over, you see that this guy's still standing there talking to your female friend.
He's hitting on her - he must be.
Now, most men in this situation would start to get a little annoyed at this guy who's just introduced himself to their female friend.
He's pretty much barged in, thinking he can do what he wants.
They may not think so consciously, in those exact words, but the feeling no doubt flashes through their minds.
The seed is planted.
They have no reason to like this stranger.
If anything, they dislike him a little, without even really knowing it.
After all, this guy's broken up the dynamic of their group a little with his self-initiated introduction.
It's a safe bet that, nine times out of ten, if this situation occurred in real life the guy's chances of successfully attracting, talking to and closing the girl would be severely limited by the girl's male friends, simply because he didn't befriend them first.
In one way or another, they'd probably thwart his efforts, either by interrupting his conversation or by simply being socially hostile to him in some other way.
So, how do you avoid this problem? How do you get guys on your side? Here's how: - Remember that when you approach a mixed set, the guys in it will be subconsciously evaluating you.
They'll be looking to see if you're showing them signs of respect or disrespect, and if you're a threat to them.
The best way to make them feel good on both of these points is to focus no more intently on the girls than you do them, at least for the first five or ten minutes.
Talk to the guys just as much as you talk to the girls and do it in a fairly similar way.
Be just as friendly, open and charismatic.
Clearly you shouldn't flirt with them, but you shouldn't really be openly and flagrantly flirting with the girls either, at least not right at the start of your interaction with the group.
- Guys don't mind you talking to their female friends as long as they like you and think you're a decent guy.
If you come across as sleazy or seedy, they'll be extremely hostile to the idea of you chatting to their friends.
If you're friendly and non-threatening, they won't mind at all.
- Something you should never do when you approach a mixed set is "alpha male" one or more of the guys.
"Alpha maling" is when a guy consciously or subconsciously sucks value from another guy while in front of women.
For example: Two guys are in a mixed set and one says to the other, in earshot of the girls: "When are you gonna start driving though? I can't be your chauffeur forever!" Even said playfully, this kind of comment makes the guy who's receiving it look and/or feel of lower value then the guy who's giving it.
So always make sure you don't alpha male any guys in a mixed set in any way.
Genuinely try to make them your friends - it's the best way.
- Another great reason to befriend guys in mixed groups, apart from the fact that doing so removes them as obstacles between you and the girl or girls you're interested in attracting, is because it makes you seem genuinely friendly, confident and socially intelligent - all traits women find alluring and attractive.
When they see that you can make friends with people who are already in their "tribe" you demonstrate that you're of high value and therefore a viable and positive option as a mate.
A final tip on how to befriend guys in mixed sets is as follows.
Play the same fun games with the guys as those you play with the girls.
Personality tests, small bets...
whatever it is, spread the fun evenly between the guys and girls to start with.
Then, a little later once you've got the guys on your side, you're free to isolate one or two of the girls and concentrate on flirting and playing with them more intently and closely.
