Violence Has Become an Answer to Perceived Helplessness
When people feel helpless long enough and lose their awareness, they often don't have the courage they need to make their lives work.
Some of these people go to extremes to try and deny their helplessness.
When you combine this extreme reaction to helplessness with high levels of anger and other strong feelings, such as frustration, and add a society saturated with violence, what do you think might happen? In a recent, very popular movie, the female lead is listening to the tape of a self-help guru who is exhorting the listeners not to be victims.
This female lead is saying over and over, while loading a gun, "I will not be a victim.
" Contrary to what that movie is suggesting, the alternative to not being a victim is not going out and blowing someone's head off.
How many times have you seen on the news that someone comes into the workplace and kills one or two or more people? When this first happened, we sat up and took notice.
Now it has almost become commonplace.
And have you noticed that, in many of these cases, the killer then kills himself? That is the ultimate coward's way out.
"I'll show you.
I got my revenge and you won't be able to make me pay for my crime.
" You might argue that, hey, the person killed himself - how can that be the easy way out? I think they see that act as a big thumbing of their nose at authorities - an extreme way to prove that they aren't helpless, that they can make something happen.
I'm sure many mental health experts would say I am over simplifying the situation.
Perhaps.
But sometimes I think they over complicate it.
I also believe the situation around violence is more than any one individual pathology.
It is a societal pathology, and it needs to be looked at carefully.
By that I mean that violence is so entwined in our daily lives that it affects everything on some level.
It is in our TV shows, movies, games, sports, hockey dads, road rage, news, general jargon.
"Let's kick butt," is an encouragement that plays just as well to a high school girl basketball player as it does to our troops in Afghanistan.
When we combine this fascination with violence in our culture with our sense that the power is "out there" and that other people control our emotions and well-being, we start to see violence being viewed as the only viable way to demonstrate that we are not helpless.
I realize that most of us aren't going to do something as extreme as murder someone else.
But don't kid yourself that this choice is not just down the road for many of us.
Lately, as Columbine and Virginia Tech has shown, we're seeing kids exhibit more of this type of behavior.
Combining helplessness, frustration, violence, and, I fear, this crazy need for celebrity status, is leading to major trouble.
To debate if any one particular movie makes a person do something violent seems sort of silly to me.
The issue is greater than any one movie or television show.
To say that the adults and kids doing this killing are suffering from stress really becomes an insipid statement.
There is obviously a lot going on in their heads, and what is needed is precise thinking, not fuzzy thinking and fuzzy psychological terms.
If I, as an individual, want to make changes in my life, I have to be willing to do the hard work that is necessary.
If we, as a society, want to make changes, we have to be willing to do the hard work and not fall prey to the hustlers out there who want to save us with their simple pat answers or who want to find bad guys to blame.
Some of these people go to extremes to try and deny their helplessness.
When you combine this extreme reaction to helplessness with high levels of anger and other strong feelings, such as frustration, and add a society saturated with violence, what do you think might happen? In a recent, very popular movie, the female lead is listening to the tape of a self-help guru who is exhorting the listeners not to be victims.
This female lead is saying over and over, while loading a gun, "I will not be a victim.
" Contrary to what that movie is suggesting, the alternative to not being a victim is not going out and blowing someone's head off.
How many times have you seen on the news that someone comes into the workplace and kills one or two or more people? When this first happened, we sat up and took notice.
Now it has almost become commonplace.
And have you noticed that, in many of these cases, the killer then kills himself? That is the ultimate coward's way out.
"I'll show you.
I got my revenge and you won't be able to make me pay for my crime.
" You might argue that, hey, the person killed himself - how can that be the easy way out? I think they see that act as a big thumbing of their nose at authorities - an extreme way to prove that they aren't helpless, that they can make something happen.
I'm sure many mental health experts would say I am over simplifying the situation.
Perhaps.
But sometimes I think they over complicate it.
I also believe the situation around violence is more than any one individual pathology.
It is a societal pathology, and it needs to be looked at carefully.
By that I mean that violence is so entwined in our daily lives that it affects everything on some level.
It is in our TV shows, movies, games, sports, hockey dads, road rage, news, general jargon.
"Let's kick butt," is an encouragement that plays just as well to a high school girl basketball player as it does to our troops in Afghanistan.
When we combine this fascination with violence in our culture with our sense that the power is "out there" and that other people control our emotions and well-being, we start to see violence being viewed as the only viable way to demonstrate that we are not helpless.
I realize that most of us aren't going to do something as extreme as murder someone else.
But don't kid yourself that this choice is not just down the road for many of us.
Lately, as Columbine and Virginia Tech has shown, we're seeing kids exhibit more of this type of behavior.
Combining helplessness, frustration, violence, and, I fear, this crazy need for celebrity status, is leading to major trouble.
To debate if any one particular movie makes a person do something violent seems sort of silly to me.
The issue is greater than any one movie or television show.
To say that the adults and kids doing this killing are suffering from stress really becomes an insipid statement.
There is obviously a lot going on in their heads, and what is needed is precise thinking, not fuzzy thinking and fuzzy psychological terms.
If I, as an individual, want to make changes in my life, I have to be willing to do the hard work that is necessary.
If we, as a society, want to make changes, we have to be willing to do the hard work and not fall prey to the hustlers out there who want to save us with their simple pat answers or who want to find bad guys to blame.
