Recognizing the Signs of a Troubled Marriage and Avoiding Divorce
Everyone's marriage, regardless of how seemingly solid it may be, needs to be maintained and nurtured in order to protect it from the devastating effects of divorce.
Paying attention to the little clues that are often right under our noses signaling that something is amiss is important to avoid permanently damaging a relationship.
Is your intimate life not the same as it was before? Does your spouse never seem to have enough time for you, or doesn't appear to be interested in what you're saying? Even if it may seem that the problems you have are insurmountable, as long as the foundation of love is still there, you can avoid the ravages of divorce and ensure you don't become just another statistic.
Rebuilding Your Marriage Every marriage must contain certain components for it to be a happy, successful relationship including an open line of communication, complete and total honesty, patience and compassion, and the ability to compromise as well as forgive.
Communication is paramount to a happy marriage that thrives and is able to withstand the test of time.
Misunderstandings can happen quite easily, and especially when one or both spouses aren't able to express themselves as they should.
Without taking the time to talk, whether it's about a specific incident or subject, or just in general, before you know it there's a wedge between the two of you and neither seems to know why.
If you're having a hard time making your feelings known for some reason, try writing them down and crafting a heartfelt letter to your spouse.
Avoid using words like "you always" or "you never" and instead, focus on how you are feeling and your emotions instead of what the other person is or isn't doing to your expectations, which is easily interpreted as placing the blame.
Everyone wants their feelings known and respected.
Always give your spouse the same courtesies you expect for yourself.
And, if it seems you don't have enough time for each other anymore, remember that there are 24 hours in each day and rearranging schedules and making each other a priority is definitely possible, it just takes some effort on both of your parts.
Also regularly set aside time to be completely alone, whether it's at home or out on a "date," and really pay attention to each other for a change.
Besides asking about the day or a specific event, really start talking and show a genuine interest in what your husband or wife is saying.
Most all types of relationships fare best when both sides are totally honest with each other, but in a marriage, it's even more critical.
White lies or secrets don't belong in a marriage and will eventually destroy it.
And, while it may seem simpler at the time to tell a little white lie to avoid an argument or altercation, it can take years to undo the damage dishonesty causes and repair the trust that was broken.
Both patience and compassion are also integral parts of a marriage.
Often times, after living with one another day in and day out, the rigors of everyday life get in the way and cloud our vision as to what's really important, like having patience with the one you love the most.
Everyone has their own quirks and special ways of doing things that may not be exactly the way we ourselves would do them, which is where the great art of compromise comes into play.
Without compromise, a marriage doesn't have much of a fighting chance as one or both parties are eventually going to get tired of the power struggle that inevitably ensues.
When you're able to forgive someone, especially someone you care about deeply, it not only benefits them but it also makes you feel better when you're not holding onto feelings of resentment or anger.
Naturally it isn't possible to make yourself forget completely, but if the relationship is worth it, you will benefit from the cathartic act of forgiving another for their wrongdoings.
In addition to these elements, what marriage would be complete without unconditional love? Unconditional love refers to the kind of deep, abiding love that knows no boundaries and also comes with no conditions or expectations.
And last, but certainly not least, is the crucial element of laughter.
The healing power of laughter simply cannot be duplicated otherwise.
So remember to stop and laugh at yourself, and each other, most especially when things start to get too serious as after all, if you have each other, you can conquer the world together.
Paying attention to the little clues that are often right under our noses signaling that something is amiss is important to avoid permanently damaging a relationship.
Is your intimate life not the same as it was before? Does your spouse never seem to have enough time for you, or doesn't appear to be interested in what you're saying? Even if it may seem that the problems you have are insurmountable, as long as the foundation of love is still there, you can avoid the ravages of divorce and ensure you don't become just another statistic.
Rebuilding Your Marriage Every marriage must contain certain components for it to be a happy, successful relationship including an open line of communication, complete and total honesty, patience and compassion, and the ability to compromise as well as forgive.
Communication is paramount to a happy marriage that thrives and is able to withstand the test of time.
Misunderstandings can happen quite easily, and especially when one or both spouses aren't able to express themselves as they should.
Without taking the time to talk, whether it's about a specific incident or subject, or just in general, before you know it there's a wedge between the two of you and neither seems to know why.
If you're having a hard time making your feelings known for some reason, try writing them down and crafting a heartfelt letter to your spouse.
Avoid using words like "you always" or "you never" and instead, focus on how you are feeling and your emotions instead of what the other person is or isn't doing to your expectations, which is easily interpreted as placing the blame.
Everyone wants their feelings known and respected.
Always give your spouse the same courtesies you expect for yourself.
And, if it seems you don't have enough time for each other anymore, remember that there are 24 hours in each day and rearranging schedules and making each other a priority is definitely possible, it just takes some effort on both of your parts.
Also regularly set aside time to be completely alone, whether it's at home or out on a "date," and really pay attention to each other for a change.
Besides asking about the day or a specific event, really start talking and show a genuine interest in what your husband or wife is saying.
Most all types of relationships fare best when both sides are totally honest with each other, but in a marriage, it's even more critical.
White lies or secrets don't belong in a marriage and will eventually destroy it.
And, while it may seem simpler at the time to tell a little white lie to avoid an argument or altercation, it can take years to undo the damage dishonesty causes and repair the trust that was broken.
Both patience and compassion are also integral parts of a marriage.
Often times, after living with one another day in and day out, the rigors of everyday life get in the way and cloud our vision as to what's really important, like having patience with the one you love the most.
Everyone has their own quirks and special ways of doing things that may not be exactly the way we ourselves would do them, which is where the great art of compromise comes into play.
Without compromise, a marriage doesn't have much of a fighting chance as one or both parties are eventually going to get tired of the power struggle that inevitably ensues.
When you're able to forgive someone, especially someone you care about deeply, it not only benefits them but it also makes you feel better when you're not holding onto feelings of resentment or anger.
Naturally it isn't possible to make yourself forget completely, but if the relationship is worth it, you will benefit from the cathartic act of forgiving another for their wrongdoings.
In addition to these elements, what marriage would be complete without unconditional love? Unconditional love refers to the kind of deep, abiding love that knows no boundaries and also comes with no conditions or expectations.
And last, but certainly not least, is the crucial element of laughter.
The healing power of laughter simply cannot be duplicated otherwise.
So remember to stop and laugh at yourself, and each other, most especially when things start to get too serious as after all, if you have each other, you can conquer the world together.
