Three Tips To Effectively Talking To Your Teen By West Ridge Academy
West Ridge Academy says you must develop many skills as parent but communication tops the list if you want a fulfilling relationship with your teen.
Effectively expressing your thoughts and ideas is certainly part of communication but there is much more to it. While these are very important it is listening that makes the master communicator a true master.
It is common for most relationships to experience an immediate benefit when one parent seeks to listen.
1. Focus Only On Your Teen
If you don't give them all your attention they won't think you care.
The society we live in promotes multi-tasking and that is a problem. Stopping what you're doing communicates importance to your teen.
Giving you teen your undivided attention will produce more respect from them.
2. Getting The Details Shows You Care
The secret is reading between the lines to understand what they are saying. Often teens leave out the details to test you interest level. Getting a teen to engage in heart felt, open, communication is an acquired skill and important to being a successful parent.
For example: "My teacher stinks!"
Parent: "Really, you can't mean that."
Teen: "No really, I do!"
Parent: "Don't say that, you have to respect him." You can't really hate him.
Teen: "In fact I hate all teachers!" And it just keeps going.
Now try it using the tips. Teen: "I hate my math teacher."
Parent: "Whoa that isn't like you." Tell me why you feel that way?
Teen: "She is punishing the whole class because some kids didn't have their homework done and we're having a test tomorrow."
Parent: "I think I would be upset about that too."
Teen: "It's totally not fair, I want to go to the mall tonight. Now I have to fail the test or stay up all night to be ready for it. She has no clue!"
The parent just keeps listening.
Given the chance the teen communicated his feelings and was validated by his parents.
Can you imagine how much the parent want to jump in and correct how the teen was feeling? Its not about agreeing with them or control as it letting them be free to feel how they feel. No one can control how another person feels not even parents. Obviously you can control what your teen feels but you can help them understand boundaries.
It is good to express what one is feeling and more importantly doing it in a productive way.
3. Don't Ask Yes No Questions
Questions are important to building open communication with your teen. Give them a chance to explain themselves by letting the explain their answer.
As an example the above example could go like this, "How could you approach the teacher about how you feel?"
For more information about raising teens visit West Ridge Academy.
Effectively expressing your thoughts and ideas is certainly part of communication but there is much more to it. While these are very important it is listening that makes the master communicator a true master.
It is common for most relationships to experience an immediate benefit when one parent seeks to listen.
1. Focus Only On Your Teen
If you don't give them all your attention they won't think you care.
The society we live in promotes multi-tasking and that is a problem. Stopping what you're doing communicates importance to your teen.
Giving you teen your undivided attention will produce more respect from them.
2. Getting The Details Shows You Care
The secret is reading between the lines to understand what they are saying. Often teens leave out the details to test you interest level. Getting a teen to engage in heart felt, open, communication is an acquired skill and important to being a successful parent.
For example: "My teacher stinks!"
Parent: "Really, you can't mean that."
Teen: "No really, I do!"
Parent: "Don't say that, you have to respect him." You can't really hate him.
Teen: "In fact I hate all teachers!" And it just keeps going.
Now try it using the tips. Teen: "I hate my math teacher."
Parent: "Whoa that isn't like you." Tell me why you feel that way?
Teen: "She is punishing the whole class because some kids didn't have their homework done and we're having a test tomorrow."
Parent: "I think I would be upset about that too."
Teen: "It's totally not fair, I want to go to the mall tonight. Now I have to fail the test or stay up all night to be ready for it. She has no clue!"
The parent just keeps listening.
Given the chance the teen communicated his feelings and was validated by his parents.
Can you imagine how much the parent want to jump in and correct how the teen was feeling? Its not about agreeing with them or control as it letting them be free to feel how they feel. No one can control how another person feels not even parents. Obviously you can control what your teen feels but you can help them understand boundaries.
It is good to express what one is feeling and more importantly doing it in a productive way.
3. Don't Ask Yes No Questions
Questions are important to building open communication with your teen. Give them a chance to explain themselves by letting the explain their answer.
As an example the above example could go like this, "How could you approach the teacher about how you feel?"
For more information about raising teens visit West Ridge Academy.