My Boyfriend Wants Me Back - But He Won"t Change
Albert Einstein, of all people, once said, "Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
" You say, "My Boyfriend wants me back, but he won't change.
" The takeaway from this, is that most every woman and every man are disappointed at some point and to some degree, but what should they really expect? It has been argued that people can't really change, at least not who they really are.
Unless, of course, they are trying to overcome some defect or flaw that was brought about by mental or physical trauma, whether self inflicted (alcoholism, drug addiction) or through physical abuse.
Through intense therapy and med treatments, a person can change certain patterns of behavior.
But, who we really are, is cemented to our being through genetics and a lifetime of experience.
It's extremely difficult to peel any part of our being away in order to try to become someone different.
So, can we really expect for someone to change? Not likely.
And, if we are forced to change, in that way, the basic instincts of our being will fight it and, ultimately resent the attempt.
So what can you do.
First, recognize this and then understand that people appear to change, not because they have become someone different.
They change outwardly because the way they view the world has changed and, therefore, can affect their attitudes, preferences and desires.
It's likely that your boyfriend is the same person you met and with whom you fell in love.
It's also very likely that, at different points during your relationship your views of the world and people have evolved to where you don't see each other in the same light.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing.
The key is to better understand each other's views and perceptions and why they may have changed.
It's all about communication.
With honest, open communication and the ability to really listen, the changes that we do perceive are often mitigated by a deeper understanding of our mate.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
" You say, "My Boyfriend wants me back, but he won't change.
" The takeaway from this, is that most every woman and every man are disappointed at some point and to some degree, but what should they really expect? It has been argued that people can't really change, at least not who they really are.
Unless, of course, they are trying to overcome some defect or flaw that was brought about by mental or physical trauma, whether self inflicted (alcoholism, drug addiction) or through physical abuse.
Through intense therapy and med treatments, a person can change certain patterns of behavior.
But, who we really are, is cemented to our being through genetics and a lifetime of experience.
It's extremely difficult to peel any part of our being away in order to try to become someone different.
So, can we really expect for someone to change? Not likely.
And, if we are forced to change, in that way, the basic instincts of our being will fight it and, ultimately resent the attempt.
So what can you do.
First, recognize this and then understand that people appear to change, not because they have become someone different.
They change outwardly because the way they view the world has changed and, therefore, can affect their attitudes, preferences and desires.
It's likely that your boyfriend is the same person you met and with whom you fell in love.
It's also very likely that, at different points during your relationship your views of the world and people have evolved to where you don't see each other in the same light.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing.
The key is to better understand each other's views and perceptions and why they may have changed.
It's all about communication.
With honest, open communication and the ability to really listen, the changes that we do perceive are often mitigated by a deeper understanding of our mate.
