Preparing For a Divorce, What Next?
So, you've made the determination to go ahead and begin preparing for a divorce.
This is it! The conclusion of a once happy relationship.
This is a large step.
You're overwhelmed, don't know where to start and there's no one available to help you, right? You've made the decision and of course, you've got your friends to go to for advice in preparing for a divorce they know utterly nothing about, but just how much can they actually help? Unless they've been in your shoes, how much do they know about what you're thinking inside your head? And, if they have been in your shoes, are they the correct one to ask for advice.
Was theirs a virulent experience, was it comfortable? Are they still bitter and maybe lead you down the wrong path? Often times, people lean to listen to those they can concur with and those that provide the answers you're looking for, but is it always the right answers or just the answers you yearn to hear? The next question to ask is: What about the children? How might they be affected? Have you made plans for their discomfort, malaise, it's all my fault, why is this happening to us, they don't love us any longer, what did we do to merit this...
? Have you arranged counseling, visitation times,vacation sharing, etc.
? What about holidays, who gets the children which year, and each holiday? Ok, it's finished.
Was it actually what you wanted or did you act hurriedly for your own selfish reasons? Remember, preparing for a divorce may sound easy, but there's a lot more to it than meets the eye!! Now, start thinking about new friends for yourself as well as the kids, new venues, new modes of transportation, dissimilar activities between being married and single again.
Financially, are you any better off, or are things more unmanageable? Could you have discussed problem areas and sparked something new or renewed that spark you had when you first laid eyes on one another, fireworks crackled, you couldn't stop laughing, talking, just being near to one another.
It's a giant leap, think hard and long before you make another decision of a lifetime!!
This is it! The conclusion of a once happy relationship.
This is a large step.
You're overwhelmed, don't know where to start and there's no one available to help you, right? You've made the decision and of course, you've got your friends to go to for advice in preparing for a divorce they know utterly nothing about, but just how much can they actually help? Unless they've been in your shoes, how much do they know about what you're thinking inside your head? And, if they have been in your shoes, are they the correct one to ask for advice.
Was theirs a virulent experience, was it comfortable? Are they still bitter and maybe lead you down the wrong path? Often times, people lean to listen to those they can concur with and those that provide the answers you're looking for, but is it always the right answers or just the answers you yearn to hear? The next question to ask is: What about the children? How might they be affected? Have you made plans for their discomfort, malaise, it's all my fault, why is this happening to us, they don't love us any longer, what did we do to merit this...
? Have you arranged counseling, visitation times,vacation sharing, etc.
? What about holidays, who gets the children which year, and each holiday? Ok, it's finished.
Was it actually what you wanted or did you act hurriedly for your own selfish reasons? Remember, preparing for a divorce may sound easy, but there's a lot more to it than meets the eye!! Now, start thinking about new friends for yourself as well as the kids, new venues, new modes of transportation, dissimilar activities between being married and single again.
Financially, are you any better off, or are things more unmanageable? Could you have discussed problem areas and sparked something new or renewed that spark you had when you first laid eyes on one another, fireworks crackled, you couldn't stop laughing, talking, just being near to one another.
It's a giant leap, think hard and long before you make another decision of a lifetime!!
