Playing Nice - Why Some Guys Aren"t Into Nice Girls
Are you one of the "nice" women out there who always seem to get the short end of the stick for just that -- being nice? Are you wondering just what it is about being a kind, friendly, respectful person that turns men off and why they instead go after "bad girls" who break their hearts? It's not an ultimate truth that men are turned off by nice women, and you have to realize that.
Instead, it's particular ways you go about things that they find unappealing.
Once you recognize what those are, you can learn how to change them -- and decide whether or not you even want to.
The first thing you have to realize is that it's not bad to be nice.
You shouldn't necessarily alter who you are, especially if that person is positive, kind and upbeat.
The thing you actually have to look out for is being too eager to please, which can get boring for a man who is otherwise interested in you.
If you agree with every single thing he says all the time, he's going to lose interest pretty quickly.
Don't put aside your own wants and needs for his.
Make him work for your attention and when you give it to him, make sure it's in reasonable doses.
You don't need to shower him with praise every single day, especially if he's not doing the same for you! This can also overflow into control issues in the relationship.
Sure, it seems like most men would rather be at the wheel than in the passenger seat, but everyone gets tired after driving hundreds of miles, right? Give him a break from making all the decisions and dictating what you two are going to do, where and what you are going to eat, and who you are going to be.
Be your own person with your own desires and preferences.
That's how you keep things lively and interesting! Otherwise there will be no dynamics to the relationship, and the ebb and flow of power in a relationship is what keeps things passionate.
One thing you can definitely change about yourself, however, is the habit of letting him use you as a doormat.
A lot of self-proclaimed "nice girls" make this mistake in an effort to keep him from becoming upset, but it is actually quite detrimental to both you and to the relationship.
Instead, it's particular ways you go about things that they find unappealing.
Once you recognize what those are, you can learn how to change them -- and decide whether or not you even want to.
The first thing you have to realize is that it's not bad to be nice.
You shouldn't necessarily alter who you are, especially if that person is positive, kind and upbeat.
The thing you actually have to look out for is being too eager to please, which can get boring for a man who is otherwise interested in you.
If you agree with every single thing he says all the time, he's going to lose interest pretty quickly.
Don't put aside your own wants and needs for his.
Make him work for your attention and when you give it to him, make sure it's in reasonable doses.
You don't need to shower him with praise every single day, especially if he's not doing the same for you! This can also overflow into control issues in the relationship.
Sure, it seems like most men would rather be at the wheel than in the passenger seat, but everyone gets tired after driving hundreds of miles, right? Give him a break from making all the decisions and dictating what you two are going to do, where and what you are going to eat, and who you are going to be.
Be your own person with your own desires and preferences.
That's how you keep things lively and interesting! Otherwise there will be no dynamics to the relationship, and the ebb and flow of power in a relationship is what keeps things passionate.
One thing you can definitely change about yourself, however, is the habit of letting him use you as a doormat.
A lot of self-proclaimed "nice girls" make this mistake in an effort to keep him from becoming upset, but it is actually quite detrimental to both you and to the relationship.
