True Love Is Supposed To Be Timeless And Priceless
When two people are deeply in love, they can be said to be on top of a proverbial Love Mountain. As such, they see the whole world beneath them; they also do see others trying to get up to where they have reached in terms of the intensity of the love existing between them.They see the "forest" of fake lovers surrounding, and indeed beneath them; they see the rivers of love gushing forth from under their feet; they see the rainbow of love far above them in the horizon; in effect, they breathe in the fresh air of love; and indeed, they eat and drink love.
The Prophet of Islam, Muhammad (peace be upon him), did witness the marriage of a woman from the Bani Fazaara Tribe (an ancient Arab tribe), that was consummated based on a pair of sandals as the marriage gift from her lover. The Prophet asked this woman during the marriage ceremony: "Do you approve on your own accord a pair of sandals as a marriage gift?" She answered "yes," the Prophet the endorsed the marriage.
She answered in the affirmative because, Mahr, the Arabic term for a marriage gift was of no value in the eyes of true love that had already settled in their hearts, and had since 'crowded out' any potential impediment on their way to getting married. To this woman, love was priceless, therefore, she did not want the 'luster of gold' to inveigle their relationship down the drain. The above narrative also vindicates the high esteem accorded to a woman by Islam. That was the Messenger of God, asking a woman about her opinion concerning something that mattered to her.
With this, the rights of a woman was upheld by Islam over fourteen hundred years ago.Many critics might point out that the above episode took place over fourteen centuries ago, and would no longer hold true in this "Digital Age" Lessons derived from this episode are irrelevant to time and place. Rather, it's the true meaning of love that was called to attention. Love is timeless and priceless. Despite that, Islam does recognizes the importance of having a spiritual peace as well as a material well-being. As a result, it places no limitation as to how much Mahr a lover should give to her fiancee.We find the following verse in the Holy Qur'an:
"But if ye decide to take
One wife in place of another,
Even if ye had given the latter
A whole treasure for dower,
Take not the least bit of it back.
And how could ye take it when ye
Have gone in unto each other, and
They have taken from you a solemn Covenant." (Qur'an, Chapter 4, Verse 21-22).
The Arabic word Qintar mentioned in this verse translates as a " Talent of Gold". By analogy, it means 'a whole treasure'. It's therefore clear in this verse that Islam does not prohibit giving a whole treasure as a marriage gift or Mahr to the love of one's life!
In pre-Islamic Arabia, a trick to detract from the freedom of married women was to trick the badly and force them to sue for a Khul'a - divorce, or it's equivalent in pre-Islamic custom; when, in such a case, a dower could be claimed back. Islam forbade this. This harshness could be exercised in another way - a divorced woman could be prevented by those who have control over her from remarrying, unless she remits her dower. By so doing, the meaning of love that should have been the reason for marriage in the first place is completely lost.
In this same verse, the fake lover is rebuked in the following words: " And how could ye take it (the dower) back, when ye have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?" As a woman surrenders her person in marriage, so the man also must surrender at least some of his property according to his means. "When ye have gone unto each other" implies making love to each other. Here the man is expected to be a true and trusted lover and to avoid sexual chicanery.
A true lover is not the type who pays a huge sum of money to a woman (as a marriage gift) with a sinister motive of "slipping between the sheets" with her and later turning around to play tricks in order to get his money back. "... And they have taken from you a solemn covenant." What does this "solemn covenant" refers to in this verse? It is the marriage contract you did sign with your lover - which entails according her the necessary support, the true love, and the rights that she deserves!
In a nutshell, although a huge Mahr is permissible, it is not recommended. More important than that is true love!
The Prophet of Islam, Muhammad (peace be upon him), did witness the marriage of a woman from the Bani Fazaara Tribe (an ancient Arab tribe), that was consummated based on a pair of sandals as the marriage gift from her lover. The Prophet asked this woman during the marriage ceremony: "Do you approve on your own accord a pair of sandals as a marriage gift?" She answered "yes," the Prophet the endorsed the marriage.
She answered in the affirmative because, Mahr, the Arabic term for a marriage gift was of no value in the eyes of true love that had already settled in their hearts, and had since 'crowded out' any potential impediment on their way to getting married. To this woman, love was priceless, therefore, she did not want the 'luster of gold' to inveigle their relationship down the drain. The above narrative also vindicates the high esteem accorded to a woman by Islam. That was the Messenger of God, asking a woman about her opinion concerning something that mattered to her.
With this, the rights of a woman was upheld by Islam over fourteen hundred years ago.Many critics might point out that the above episode took place over fourteen centuries ago, and would no longer hold true in this "Digital Age" Lessons derived from this episode are irrelevant to time and place. Rather, it's the true meaning of love that was called to attention. Love is timeless and priceless. Despite that, Islam does recognizes the importance of having a spiritual peace as well as a material well-being. As a result, it places no limitation as to how much Mahr a lover should give to her fiancee.We find the following verse in the Holy Qur'an:
"But if ye decide to take
One wife in place of another,
Even if ye had given the latter
A whole treasure for dower,
Take not the least bit of it back.
And how could ye take it when ye
Have gone in unto each other, and
They have taken from you a solemn Covenant." (Qur'an, Chapter 4, Verse 21-22).
The Arabic word Qintar mentioned in this verse translates as a " Talent of Gold". By analogy, it means 'a whole treasure'. It's therefore clear in this verse that Islam does not prohibit giving a whole treasure as a marriage gift or Mahr to the love of one's life!
In pre-Islamic Arabia, a trick to detract from the freedom of married women was to trick the badly and force them to sue for a Khul'a - divorce, or it's equivalent in pre-Islamic custom; when, in such a case, a dower could be claimed back. Islam forbade this. This harshness could be exercised in another way - a divorced woman could be prevented by those who have control over her from remarrying, unless she remits her dower. By so doing, the meaning of love that should have been the reason for marriage in the first place is completely lost.
In this same verse, the fake lover is rebuked in the following words: " And how could ye take it (the dower) back, when ye have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?" As a woman surrenders her person in marriage, so the man also must surrender at least some of his property according to his means. "When ye have gone unto each other" implies making love to each other. Here the man is expected to be a true and trusted lover and to avoid sexual chicanery.
A true lover is not the type who pays a huge sum of money to a woman (as a marriage gift) with a sinister motive of "slipping between the sheets" with her and later turning around to play tricks in order to get his money back. "... And they have taken from you a solemn covenant." What does this "solemn covenant" refers to in this verse? It is the marriage contract you did sign with your lover - which entails according her the necessary support, the true love, and the rights that she deserves!
In a nutshell, although a huge Mahr is permissible, it is not recommended. More important than that is true love!
