When You Are Stuck Not Knowing What To Say
Please note that it is through screwing up and then honestly and objectively looking at what we did that we begin to win half the battle; the other half is putting the new understandings into use.
One key I want to give you: if you are ever stuck with what to say, you can always get curious about the other person.
Notice what you notice about them and then bring it up in conversation! In the case of the waitress you could have said, "Wow, you are unusually friendly.
I really thought it was against the rules for a food serve to sit at the table with the customers.
So is it that you like to bend the rules or just that you find some people worth bending the rules for?" Do you see how this kind of question will do a couple of things: 1.
If she's just a tease, you have, in effect, called her on it and she will stop wasting your time.
2.
You've shown some good insight into her behavior.
Because either she's doing this because she just likes bending the rules (in which case you could inquire more into where ELSE in her life she likes bending rules) or she's doing it because she DOES see something interesting in you.
Many, many times when I have been stuck with what to say, I've simply gotten quiet inside and learned to observe the other person, get curious, and ask a question based on what I am curious about: is it that you are x or is it that you are y? (where x and y represent two possible explanations, either one of which points her mind and thinking in a seduction direction).
One key I want to give you: if you are ever stuck with what to say, you can always get curious about the other person.
Notice what you notice about them and then bring it up in conversation! In the case of the waitress you could have said, "Wow, you are unusually friendly.
I really thought it was against the rules for a food serve to sit at the table with the customers.
So is it that you like to bend the rules or just that you find some people worth bending the rules for?" Do you see how this kind of question will do a couple of things: 1.
If she's just a tease, you have, in effect, called her on it and she will stop wasting your time.
2.
You've shown some good insight into her behavior.
Because either she's doing this because she just likes bending the rules (in which case you could inquire more into where ELSE in her life she likes bending rules) or she's doing it because she DOES see something interesting in you.
Many, many times when I have been stuck with what to say, I've simply gotten quiet inside and learned to observe the other person, get curious, and ask a question based on what I am curious about: is it that you are x or is it that you are y? (where x and y represent two possible explanations, either one of which points her mind and thinking in a seduction direction).
