I Should be Angry - Why am I Only Sad about My Wife"s Cheating?
Most men believe they will feel an immediate and intense shaft of white hot rage when they fin out their wife is cheating on them. Some men do indeed feel this. However, there are plenty of men who have a difficult time feeling anything other than profound sorry over learning their wives are cheating on them.
There's no way to tell ahead of time which situation you will find yourself in. Tough guys and mob bosses have been brought to their knees by cheating wives and mistresses. No one was more surprised than these burly and quite masculine men by their profound sadness or their lack of rage.
Some of these manly men were even shocked to learn that it was within them to forgive their cheating wives and maintain the marriage for many years afterwards. It's almost surreal how these things work out.
Of course, you're not really worried about what other men experience. You want to know why you aren't feeling the anger you expected and why you're so sad over the woman you feel has betrayed you and the vows that you took so seriously, right?
The fact that she cheated does not mean that she didn't believe her vows and mean them with her entire heart when the two of you exchanged them. It's important that you understand that. Adultery is rarely a contrived or planned action. More often than not it is the object of opportunity and timing more than anything else.
It's not that she was looking for an opportunity but that an opportunity presented itself when she was not on guard or at a moment when she as particularly vulnerable. Part of the reason you may not be as angry as you thought you would be is that you know, deep down inside, that she didn't do this with malicious intent. She wasn't actively trying to hurt you. That doesn't diminish the pain you feel by any means but it should help you understand the depth of your personal pain and your lack of anger.
Why Can't I Get Angry over my Wife's Cheating?
Why can't you seem to get angry? There are many possible reasons and not all of them are as obvious as you might believe.
1) Because you're blaming yourself for her cheating.
2) Because you believe you never deserved your wife in the first place.
3) You've been unfaithful in the past.
4) You understand that good people do bad things once in a while.
5) You honestly believe it was never her intention to hurt you.
These reasons are a great start. Ultimately it may be a matter of you loving her more than she hurt you. Sometimes it really is that simple. But, if she left thinking you couldn't forgive her or you made her leave in a moment of intense pain you can still work to get your wife back.
There's no way to tell ahead of time which situation you will find yourself in. Tough guys and mob bosses have been brought to their knees by cheating wives and mistresses. No one was more surprised than these burly and quite masculine men by their profound sadness or their lack of rage.
Some of these manly men were even shocked to learn that it was within them to forgive their cheating wives and maintain the marriage for many years afterwards. It's almost surreal how these things work out.
Of course, you're not really worried about what other men experience. You want to know why you aren't feeling the anger you expected and why you're so sad over the woman you feel has betrayed you and the vows that you took so seriously, right?
The fact that she cheated does not mean that she didn't believe her vows and mean them with her entire heart when the two of you exchanged them. It's important that you understand that. Adultery is rarely a contrived or planned action. More often than not it is the object of opportunity and timing more than anything else.
It's not that she was looking for an opportunity but that an opportunity presented itself when she was not on guard or at a moment when she as particularly vulnerable. Part of the reason you may not be as angry as you thought you would be is that you know, deep down inside, that she didn't do this with malicious intent. She wasn't actively trying to hurt you. That doesn't diminish the pain you feel by any means but it should help you understand the depth of your personal pain and your lack of anger.
Why Can't I Get Angry over my Wife's Cheating?
Why can't you seem to get angry? There are many possible reasons and not all of them are as obvious as you might believe.
1) Because you're blaming yourself for her cheating.
2) Because you believe you never deserved your wife in the first place.
3) You've been unfaithful in the past.
4) You understand that good people do bad things once in a while.
5) You honestly believe it was never her intention to hurt you.
These reasons are a great start. Ultimately it may be a matter of you loving her more than she hurt you. Sometimes it really is that simple. But, if she left thinking you couldn't forgive her or you made her leave in a moment of intense pain you can still work to get your wife back.
