I was strolling with my friend the other day talking of this and that when we met a man going in the opposite direction who saluted us and I saluted back.
My friend looked at me with consternation written all over his face.
He was very much surprised that I had returned this man's greeting because he still remembered my account of years ago of how this same person had done his best to bring me down at work and to humiliate me.
I tried to cool my friend off by smilingly stating that that was all history now and that I had forgotten all about it.
He became angrier than ever at this and stressed that he was not like that at all and that he would never forget the wrongs suffered at the hands of others.
I agree that it is hard to forget, but it is possible to push negative thoughts to the far corners of our mind and think of something more pleasing or promising instead.
This is what I always do.
Perhaps my memory space is somewhat limited and I do this subconsciously in order to make room for more pressing demands, that is I like to prioritize.
I never let my negative feelings take precedence, instead I continually try to subdue and drown them until they become meaningless to me or of very little importance.
When someone hurts or insults you in any way, you naturally feel angry and your immediate reaction is to hit out and think of paying him back in his own coin, you are angry and you hate him and dream of sweet revenge.
But don't hit back.
Try very hard not to.
Never rush into action without thinking first or you may rue it afterwards.
Instead minimize your hurt feelings by finding reasons for the gibe or taunt that you have had to bear even if it means inventing the reasons because some of them may prove to be true.
Why did she say those words, it's not that she hates me, it is only her envy because I have a better figure or dress better or because my father is more well-to-do than hers.
Finding the silver lining in your cloud is always a good pick-me-up.
So next day you dress more carefully and go about your business as if nothing had happened.
In this way you would be channeling your negative energy into positive resources and your tormentor would not fail to notice the smug look on your face and realize that her insults did not ruffle your tail feathers in any way.
Probably the gibes would stop but if they continue you would at least have learnt to live with them until they do.
They always do in time.
Many people rightly place a higher value on peace of mind rather than on revenge, pay-back or even money and we have to sacrifice something, bite our tongue sometimes and swallow our pride in order to carry on enjoying it.
Some months ago, I decided to give a face lift to my home and I hired this contractor who seemed a good enough bloke.
We agreed on prices before he started and the work began with a swing soon afterwards.
Then he started absenting himself and I had to call him repeatedly on the phone.
My house was ashambles and my wife had every right to start nagging.
He began sending his apprentices, new boys whom I could see didn't know the first thing about the job in hand.
I was deeply troubled because while I was ready to keep my side of the bargain and to pay him all that he asked for, he was insulting my trust and intelligence.
I decided to put an end to all the hassle and stop him from continuing.
I knew that he would ask the full price for the work rendered so far although it was unsatisfactory and that I could take him to court if he insisted and that I would surely win the case.
Within a week or so he sent the bill and it was as I had expected, full prices and no deductions whatsoever.
What was I to do? Fight it out in court? I debated for a day or two, then I looked at the silver lining.
The thing I wanted most of all was to send this man out of my house once and for all, so I paid him and breathed a sigh of relief.
A few extra dollars were a small price to pay for my newly-found peace of mind.