Living in the 'When'.
We've all done it.
Everyone has at some time thought about 'when'.
When I get a different job..
..
When I lived in Adelaide..
..
When the kids grow up..
..
When I was younger..
..
When I retire..
..
Make up your own list - like mine it may be lengthy! It's natural to do this, but that doesn't make it healthy.
If we constantly live in the 'when' of either the past or the future we are missing out on what actually 'is.
' Eckhart Tolle in 'The Power of Now', Gabrielle Hart in 'The Peacemaker's Way', all those scientists and spiritual leaders in 'What the Bleep Do We Know' say the same thing.
The moment we are living in is all that there is.
If we concentrate on what used to be or what might have been or what may be we are getting emotionally attached to the chemicals these thoughts release into the system and as with any addiction we need more and more of it to feel satisfied.
And also as with any addiction the satisfaction doesn't last.
Let words like 'when' and 'might' ring alarm bells for you.
If they come up in the context of time remind yourself that 'when' by definition is either past or future in time, and that 'might' indicates something that has not yet happened.
If I find myself looking at a proposed action and getting panicky about something that might happen, I back up and remind myself that it equally might not.
When we do this (please notice that when is used in a different context here!) we allow ourselves to see both the might and the might-not side of an issue - if the might-not is the one we prefer we can focus our thoughts on that.
Even while focusing thoughts and attention on goals remember to stay in the present.
Remember that the goal is future, and you are living now.
Likewise when remembering the past be sure to remind yourself that at the time the remembered action took place it was happening in the now.
My recommendation always is to bring from the past those positive things that we have learned - lessons moved through, experiences that allowed us to grow.
Then let the rest of the past go.
Acknowledge it as part of your overall experience but don't dwell on things that are of no use.
To agonize over a happening, going over and over and round and round about why didn't I do/say/act in a different way helps nothing.
Focus on what you learned from the experience, what you now have in your store of knowledge that will enable you to handle a similar situation in a more productive way.
This is using the past in a constructive way.
The same is true of the future.
We all have goals and make plans, but don't get caught in them.
Keep the edges blurred, keep plans flexible.
Know that things are constantly changing and that we must be ready to shift with those changes.
The idea of not being attached to outcomes is an ancient one and makes a lot of sense in the light of what we now are being shown about the nature of energy.
If I am so attached to a specific outcome that I am in a state of near panic about the possibility of it not happening I may be sabotaging my chances of that outcome ever occurring.
Fear is a powerful emotion and can be negative.
Back away from it whenever you find yourself getting into it.
Be aware, take sensible precautions when needed, but don't be afraid.
When setting a goal look at the outcome that you desire, weigh up the pros and cons, head toward that wished for outcome, but don't go over the edge into single mindedness about it.
I have often found that letting go of any attachment clears the way for the outcome you desire to come in because there is no negative fear blocking it.
Experiment with letting go of fear, with being present in the now.
See what happens.
Allow the miracle into your life.