Nix the Negativity
Have you ever spoken with one of those people who just has everything negative to say? I have a friend who was just telling me about a person she knows, Brenda (name has been changed), whom she had lunch with.
The entire lunch was spent listening to Brenda complain about work, family, finances, the house, her weight, etc.
There wasn't anything at all positive in the entire conversation.
After a while negativity just becomes a bad habit.
Now this article isn't about how to change personal habits as it isn't really your goal to change them, just to have it not affect you.
So what can you do about situations like this? First of all, decide how important this person is to you.
If they aren't very, then the best option may be to just allow them to go their own way.
If however you want to continue a relationship with this person, or you just need to at least get through this encounter, you might want to turn the tables on them.
Think of this as a game.
The rules of the game are these.
They throw you something negative and you have to turn it around and throw something back that is positive.
Now you foul if you get frustrated and give them back something negative.
Three fouls and you lose.
You also lose if you agree with their negativity.
There is only one way to win.
You need to get them to say something positive either about you or about life in general.
Let's get into some examples here.
Them: I hate my refrigerator You: Isn't it great that we have refrigerators in this country though and that there are so many different types to choose from when we choose to get a new one? And I don't know about you, but I have never had to haul ice blocks to chill my milk! Them: I'm so stressed I'm completely gray! You: And how great that we live in an age where we can just go to the store, buy a box off the shelf, and change our hair color! Them: My car is a gas hog You: You're so lucky to have a car and gas stations are really convenient now with pay at the pump options! Them: My husband is a jerk You: Out of the countless men out there, you chose him.
What are three things you found wonderful about him? Them: It is so cold out.
I hate winter You: It gives us the perfect excuse to stay inside and bake something special or do crafts.
It also means the sun goes down earlier so we can enjoy the romance of candlelight more.
Them: My house is such a mess.
I'm sick of it!! You: You have a wonderful house and messes only take a little work to clean up! Do you get the idea? Their problems really exist in how they are looking at life.
Offering suggestions for how they can fix their problems can turn into an endless game of excuses.
But showing them that there is a positive twist to everything may just make them sit up and take notice.
The entire lunch was spent listening to Brenda complain about work, family, finances, the house, her weight, etc.
There wasn't anything at all positive in the entire conversation.
After a while negativity just becomes a bad habit.
Now this article isn't about how to change personal habits as it isn't really your goal to change them, just to have it not affect you.
So what can you do about situations like this? First of all, decide how important this person is to you.
If they aren't very, then the best option may be to just allow them to go their own way.
If however you want to continue a relationship with this person, or you just need to at least get through this encounter, you might want to turn the tables on them.
Think of this as a game.
The rules of the game are these.
They throw you something negative and you have to turn it around and throw something back that is positive.
Now you foul if you get frustrated and give them back something negative.
Three fouls and you lose.
You also lose if you agree with their negativity.
There is only one way to win.
You need to get them to say something positive either about you or about life in general.
Let's get into some examples here.
Them: I hate my refrigerator You: Isn't it great that we have refrigerators in this country though and that there are so many different types to choose from when we choose to get a new one? And I don't know about you, but I have never had to haul ice blocks to chill my milk! Them: I'm so stressed I'm completely gray! You: And how great that we live in an age where we can just go to the store, buy a box off the shelf, and change our hair color! Them: My car is a gas hog You: You're so lucky to have a car and gas stations are really convenient now with pay at the pump options! Them: My husband is a jerk You: Out of the countless men out there, you chose him.
What are three things you found wonderful about him? Them: It is so cold out.
I hate winter You: It gives us the perfect excuse to stay inside and bake something special or do crafts.
It also means the sun goes down earlier so we can enjoy the romance of candlelight more.
Them: My house is such a mess.
I'm sick of it!! You: You have a wonderful house and messes only take a little work to clean up! Do you get the idea? Their problems really exist in how they are looking at life.
Offering suggestions for how they can fix their problems can turn into an endless game of excuses.
But showing them that there is a positive twist to everything may just make them sit up and take notice.
