How to Have a Positive Attitude That Propels You to Success - Part 6
Living In The Gap There is a place that you live, between where you are and where you want to be.
It is a place called "the Gap.
" It is a place that can be mysterious, frustrating, exciting, and interesting.
It can create excitement, anticipation, interest, discovery, learning, failure, or success.
It is a place that we all must live and as long as we have breath, we will live in the Gap.
In the distance, as we stand "in the Gap," there is the horizon.
We call this horizon the "Ideal" or "the ideal life" which we desire to live.
Just like the physical horizon, though, the Ideal cannot ever be reached.
It is a vision of the future which is inherent in human beings for the sake of motivating us and letting us know that life can and should change for the better.
At some psychological level, we are forever hopeful even when we display and experience negativity, failures, and setbacks.
Chronically negative people still believe that they can somehow elicit enough sympathy from others or from God or from the universe in order to get what they want.
Both the universal concept of the future and our own specific concept of the Ideal help us in hoping that life can and will get better.
We feel like 'our' lives can get better.
If you were to script and had the resources to make a movie of what you wanted your future to look like, I can assure you that once you arrived at the place that represented your Ideal, it would look little like the movie and follow the script only generally.
The Ideal is there to motivate you in the present and aid you in enduring the hardships of your present reality in order for you to keep going and seek progress in your life.
The horizon is not a place at which you will ever "arrive.
" It is a concept that does not exist except from a distant viewpoint.
Have you, or anyone you know, ever reached the horizon? No, you haven't and neither has anyone else.
No one ever will.
The closest anyone will likely ever come is visiting Horizon City, Texas, population 5,233.
Even once you arrive there, you will still be able to look in every direction and see the horizon at which no one will ever arrive.
The same goes for the Ideal.
We keep looking ahead allowing the horizon, the Ideal or ideal life, to motivate us to keep moving towards a destination.
The Ideal is a mental construct that is necessary for living.
It isn't the carrot on the stick in which the horse is never able to partake of.
It is a necessary tool for keeping us moving and to "keep on keeping on" in order to experience a better life.
The Ideal is also like a map.
On a map you see little blue lines that represent rivers.
You see oddly shaped areas colored in with blue which represent bodies of water.
However, these only represent rivers, lakes, and oceans, and, if you touch them, you will not get your finger wet.
The other day, I took my daughter to a store where I saw globes for sale.
I looked for Italy to again get a visual perspective of its proximity in Europe.
To the north, I found Switzerland and noticed that the maker of the globe not only showed the Swiss Alps visually but also raised the material which the globe was made of, to give it a three dimensional effect.
I could actually feel the rugged points of the raised area where the Swiss Alps stood.
Recently, in flying over the Alps, I can tell you that what I felt on the globe was a very nice "effect.
" However, I can assure you that the Swiss Alps aren't anything in reality compared to what I felt on the globe.
The Map is not the Territory The horizon is not an actual place.
The raised area on the globe was not the Swiss Alps.
Your Ideal is not a place that you are ever going to 'arrive'.
Goals are concrete milestones in the journey of life.
The Ideal is not.
It is a concept.
The problem that most people experience in their lives is that they compare their present reality to their Ideal.
Having not ever "arrived" at their Ideal, they find it frustrating that their present reality is far from where they believe they want to be.
They want to have a certain amount of money.
They want to be with a certain person or want a certain kind of person in their lives.
That is what their Ideal is and what they imagine will make them happy.
They believe that if they could only afford to go on a European vacation or drive a new luxury car or live in a certain house in a certain neighborhood, that this would make them happy.
There is a concept that you have heard of which creates anxiety and a lot of pain in our lives.
It is the concept identified as "keeping up with the Joneses.
" It is a frustrating and very ineffective way to live your life.
The fact is, the ideal "Joneses" aren't real people.
Oh, you may know someone, even of that namesake, who you want to be like or who possess the money, house, business, or material things in life which you desire to have.
The fact remains, the Ideal doesn't exist.
I think you get the idea regarding the Ideal.
So what do we choose when we face the reality that the Ideal doesn't exist? I'm glad you asked.
I have an answer.
Let's use two places in life (demarcations) that reflects everyone's experience.
Point A represents where you have been at some point in your past.
It may have been 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago or one year ago.
Between 5 and 10 years ago is a good place for most of us who are over 30 years of age.
Where were you living at Point A? How much money did you have in the bank at Point A? How happy were you at Point A? Now, if you have been making much effort at all, you are at least wiser today.
We will call the place where you are today, Point B.
You are likely in a better job, with better pay, at least a bit more knowledgeable about your life and where you are headed.
When you compare your Point A with your present, Point B, then you will see some kind of progress that can motivate you to see your future from a more positive perspective.
I like the old saying that says, "To live and have not learned is the only true waste of one's life.
" Learning from life is truly the process of conscious living.
The problem that most people experience is that they compare their Point B, where they are now, with their Ideal that really doesn't exist.
They become frustrated, discouraged, depressed, and anxious when they live with the ever present thought of comparing their Point B with their Ideal.
The Ideal is a map.
It is not the territory.
When you look at a map and then actually take the journey through the territory, you find that it is a far different experience than you ever imagined.
The map cannot ever truly represent the territory.
My instruction to you is, "Stop comparing your Point B with your concept of your Ideal and start comparing it with your Point A.
" Go ahead and set achievable goals and reach for them and attain those goals.
However, there is no "I have now arrived" place in life.
You will be positively motivated to know by the progress that you've made in your life, by comparing Point B with your Point A and not comparing your point B with your "Ideal.
" This is an essential step in living your dreams and achieving your goals with a powerful, positive attitude.
It is a place called "the Gap.
" It is a place that can be mysterious, frustrating, exciting, and interesting.
It can create excitement, anticipation, interest, discovery, learning, failure, or success.
It is a place that we all must live and as long as we have breath, we will live in the Gap.
In the distance, as we stand "in the Gap," there is the horizon.
We call this horizon the "Ideal" or "the ideal life" which we desire to live.
Just like the physical horizon, though, the Ideal cannot ever be reached.
It is a vision of the future which is inherent in human beings for the sake of motivating us and letting us know that life can and should change for the better.
At some psychological level, we are forever hopeful even when we display and experience negativity, failures, and setbacks.
Chronically negative people still believe that they can somehow elicit enough sympathy from others or from God or from the universe in order to get what they want.
Both the universal concept of the future and our own specific concept of the Ideal help us in hoping that life can and will get better.
We feel like 'our' lives can get better.
If you were to script and had the resources to make a movie of what you wanted your future to look like, I can assure you that once you arrived at the place that represented your Ideal, it would look little like the movie and follow the script only generally.
The Ideal is there to motivate you in the present and aid you in enduring the hardships of your present reality in order for you to keep going and seek progress in your life.
The horizon is not a place at which you will ever "arrive.
" It is a concept that does not exist except from a distant viewpoint.
Have you, or anyone you know, ever reached the horizon? No, you haven't and neither has anyone else.
No one ever will.
The closest anyone will likely ever come is visiting Horizon City, Texas, population 5,233.
Even once you arrive there, you will still be able to look in every direction and see the horizon at which no one will ever arrive.
The same goes for the Ideal.
We keep looking ahead allowing the horizon, the Ideal or ideal life, to motivate us to keep moving towards a destination.
The Ideal is a mental construct that is necessary for living.
It isn't the carrot on the stick in which the horse is never able to partake of.
It is a necessary tool for keeping us moving and to "keep on keeping on" in order to experience a better life.
The Ideal is also like a map.
On a map you see little blue lines that represent rivers.
You see oddly shaped areas colored in with blue which represent bodies of water.
However, these only represent rivers, lakes, and oceans, and, if you touch them, you will not get your finger wet.
The other day, I took my daughter to a store where I saw globes for sale.
I looked for Italy to again get a visual perspective of its proximity in Europe.
To the north, I found Switzerland and noticed that the maker of the globe not only showed the Swiss Alps visually but also raised the material which the globe was made of, to give it a three dimensional effect.
I could actually feel the rugged points of the raised area where the Swiss Alps stood.
Recently, in flying over the Alps, I can tell you that what I felt on the globe was a very nice "effect.
" However, I can assure you that the Swiss Alps aren't anything in reality compared to what I felt on the globe.
The Map is not the Territory The horizon is not an actual place.
The raised area on the globe was not the Swiss Alps.
Your Ideal is not a place that you are ever going to 'arrive'.
Goals are concrete milestones in the journey of life.
The Ideal is not.
It is a concept.
The problem that most people experience in their lives is that they compare their present reality to their Ideal.
Having not ever "arrived" at their Ideal, they find it frustrating that their present reality is far from where they believe they want to be.
They want to have a certain amount of money.
They want to be with a certain person or want a certain kind of person in their lives.
That is what their Ideal is and what they imagine will make them happy.
They believe that if they could only afford to go on a European vacation or drive a new luxury car or live in a certain house in a certain neighborhood, that this would make them happy.
There is a concept that you have heard of which creates anxiety and a lot of pain in our lives.
It is the concept identified as "keeping up with the Joneses.
" It is a frustrating and very ineffective way to live your life.
The fact is, the ideal "Joneses" aren't real people.
Oh, you may know someone, even of that namesake, who you want to be like or who possess the money, house, business, or material things in life which you desire to have.
The fact remains, the Ideal doesn't exist.
I think you get the idea regarding the Ideal.
So what do we choose when we face the reality that the Ideal doesn't exist? I'm glad you asked.
I have an answer.
Let's use two places in life (demarcations) that reflects everyone's experience.
Point A represents where you have been at some point in your past.
It may have been 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago or one year ago.
Between 5 and 10 years ago is a good place for most of us who are over 30 years of age.
Where were you living at Point A? How much money did you have in the bank at Point A? How happy were you at Point A? Now, if you have been making much effort at all, you are at least wiser today.
We will call the place where you are today, Point B.
You are likely in a better job, with better pay, at least a bit more knowledgeable about your life and where you are headed.
When you compare your Point A with your present, Point B, then you will see some kind of progress that can motivate you to see your future from a more positive perspective.
I like the old saying that says, "To live and have not learned is the only true waste of one's life.
" Learning from life is truly the process of conscious living.
The problem that most people experience is that they compare their Point B, where they are now, with their Ideal that really doesn't exist.
They become frustrated, discouraged, depressed, and anxious when they live with the ever present thought of comparing their Point B with their Ideal.
The Ideal is a map.
It is not the territory.
When you look at a map and then actually take the journey through the territory, you find that it is a far different experience than you ever imagined.
The map cannot ever truly represent the territory.
My instruction to you is, "Stop comparing your Point B with your concept of your Ideal and start comparing it with your Point A.
" Go ahead and set achievable goals and reach for them and attain those goals.
However, there is no "I have now arrived" place in life.
You will be positively motivated to know by the progress that you've made in your life, by comparing Point B with your Point A and not comparing your point B with your "Ideal.
" This is an essential step in living your dreams and achieving your goals with a powerful, positive attitude.
