Nurse's Survival Guide Gag Gifts
- Nurses are used to dealing with pain, their own and their patients'. For their own pain, give them:
Huge fluffy slippers, preferably in a neon color or bright patterns.
An empty, clean medicine bottle filled with M&Ms or chocolate kisses.
If appropriate, include a bottle of his or her favorite alcoholic beverage or fill a clean, oral syringe with a taste of his favorite bubbly.
A bottle of pain reliever and a jar of pain-relief gel. - There are days when a particular patient is harder to deal with than others. For those times, consider giving
A patient voodoo doll (a pillow-type doll, dressed in hospital gown) stuck with pins in the appropriate places.
A child's target-shooting set in a first-aid kit labeled "For my problem patients" (or if it is a co-worker and there is a particular doctor or other colleague, insert his picture in the target).
A box for dressings, which have been replaced by rolls of duct-tape.
Nose plugs
A bottle of "whine": fill an empty bottle with strips of paper listing favorite complaints about the workplace. - Sometimes it's the facility that the nurse needs to survive. Fill a binder similar to your facility's policy book with fake job descriptions and funny policies.
Fill a binder or folder labeled "Nurse's Required Paperwork" with briefs, toilet paper, gauze and tape. - A bunch of inflated examination gloves on strings.
Clean, empty syringes made into earrings
Extra strong gourmet coffee for those on night shift or those who must attend many meetings.
A list of bogus medical terminology. Often these are listed as "blonde medical terminology" online but it could be reworded as appropriate. Insert the list in the cover of a real medical dictionary or nursing reference.
Lay on a long strip of paper and have someone draw around your outstretched arms. Use crayons, markers or pens to draw in hands, clothing or gloves. Cut out the finished drawing, roll it up in a ribbon and present it as "a hug when you really need one." - Patient confidentiality is extremely important. Do not use patient names on any gag gift item, unless you are that patient.
Do not use facility or patient equipment when creating these gifts without permission. It is considered theft and even using a small item may result in disciplinary action.
Do not give alcoholic beverages at the workplace, especially when the nurse is on duty. Wait until he is off-site or give a gift certificate instead.
Likewise, use discretion when mentioning particular patients or co-workers. Such references can be considered harassment and result in disciplinary measures.
