There is No Magic Bullet!
"5 ways to blow your partner's mind in bed" "10 steps to lose a stone this month" "3 sure fire ways to make money" You've all seen headlines in magazines or elsewhere in the media like those above.
They are the same year in year out.
They will be the same in 10 years time.
Why? Because There's Nothing New Under the Sun and because of human nature.
Now, you can argue that from time to time something new does come along, but you can't argue with the latter.
As a species, we're obsessed by quick fixes.
This is a result of genetic selection- we are hardwired to be lazy and to be as energy efficient as possible.
So we chose tactics over strategy and focus on easy solutions.
We believe that the secret to a rock hard stomach really can be as simple as 7 minutes a day.
Or that the hidden secrets of successful stock market traders can be obtained from a single, invitation only seminar.
That if you drive a certain car and wear certain clothes then you'll be successful with women.
Of course, the above desire to seek short cuts can't be separated in modern life from the pernicious influence of the advertising industry, which pervades our whole lives.
When it comes to consumer orientated products, everything it does is designed to make you feel that you aren't good enough as a person, and the secret to whatever you are looking for lies outside you.
And can be had for 5 easy payments of £19.
95.
(Don't Hesitate- Call Now!) But people focus on external matters or things- when they should be looking in- also out of fear and denial.
Quite a while ago, in hindsight, I used to be pretty unsatisfied with various aspects of my life.
I knew this, but subconsciously, I used to think that this would be remedied when I had a certain amount of money or status, a certain girlfriend, a certain job.
I also used to be hooked to 'GQ' magazine- and unfortunately, dear readers, it wasn't for the insightful editorials- as if sufficient knowledge of the correct way to dress in a certain situation, some ancient cocktail or where the most fashionable bar of the moment was somehow actually made me a better person*.
It didn't, but I managed to convince myself it did for while.
Other examples are all around you- the man who becomes a workaholic, rationalising that making (or then keeping) his first million is an justification, or an excuse for his private life being a nightmare, or allows him to avoid his deteriorating relationship with his partner at home, or his rapidly expanding waistline.
Or the woman who feels that if she just could find the type of man she deserved, she'd stop being an OCD control freak or letting food control her life and start smelling the roses of life as she walks past them.
So put a stop to this, right now.
First, take an honest look at where you life is and where it is going.
Right down a list of issues about you or in your life you're not happy with.
Write down a list of goals, along with how you can achieve them and realistic timescales (the very act of writing things down, because our minds are full of a myriad of constantly changing thoughts, cements and re-inforces an intention in the subconscious, which can help your future behaviour.
If you're interested in this, I highly recommend you check out the website of someone called Steve Pavlina, who has a fantastic article on his site called 'How to find your purpose in 20 minutes').
If it was sufficient to sit there day-dreaming of your idle life, half the developed world would be sitting on their yachts moored off the south of France.
And the other half would be in a spa where the only food available is Hagendaas or soft cream cheese served by a waiter called Tarquin.
No apologies for the blatant sterotype, ladies- it's the advertising, you see).
Next, you then need to deal with these issues.
Its simple, but hard.
If you don't have enough money or are unhappy at work, identify the solution, whether its getting a promotion, changing employers or perhaps most effective yet, actually doing what you love for a living- and work at it.
If you have issues from a previous relationship, deal with them.
Go see a counselor or get your sh*t sorted in your own way.
If you aren't happy with your physical appearance, commit to the changes in your lifestyle you need to turn it around.
Get educated, find what you need to be eating, hire a personal trainer- or kill three birds with one stone and get one of the programs from my site or hire me as a consultant.
It's not going to be quick or easy.
Nothing of value ever is.
Steel is forged out of heat and pressure and so are you.
Do something that scares you a bit every day.
Don't take the easy option.
Keep working and never stop.
And remember, there is no magic bullet.
(*There is a happy ending- in time I learnt to work out the difference between what I wanted and what I needed, detoxed my life, worked out what I wanted out of it, and now feel like a different person.
Just don't ask me where to go for a drink in town, that's all).
They are the same year in year out.
They will be the same in 10 years time.
Why? Because There's Nothing New Under the Sun and because of human nature.
Now, you can argue that from time to time something new does come along, but you can't argue with the latter.
As a species, we're obsessed by quick fixes.
This is a result of genetic selection- we are hardwired to be lazy and to be as energy efficient as possible.
So we chose tactics over strategy and focus on easy solutions.
We believe that the secret to a rock hard stomach really can be as simple as 7 minutes a day.
Or that the hidden secrets of successful stock market traders can be obtained from a single, invitation only seminar.
That if you drive a certain car and wear certain clothes then you'll be successful with women.
Of course, the above desire to seek short cuts can't be separated in modern life from the pernicious influence of the advertising industry, which pervades our whole lives.
When it comes to consumer orientated products, everything it does is designed to make you feel that you aren't good enough as a person, and the secret to whatever you are looking for lies outside you.
And can be had for 5 easy payments of £19.
95.
(Don't Hesitate- Call Now!) But people focus on external matters or things- when they should be looking in- also out of fear and denial.
Quite a while ago, in hindsight, I used to be pretty unsatisfied with various aspects of my life.
I knew this, but subconsciously, I used to think that this would be remedied when I had a certain amount of money or status, a certain girlfriend, a certain job.
I also used to be hooked to 'GQ' magazine- and unfortunately, dear readers, it wasn't for the insightful editorials- as if sufficient knowledge of the correct way to dress in a certain situation, some ancient cocktail or where the most fashionable bar of the moment was somehow actually made me a better person*.
It didn't, but I managed to convince myself it did for while.
Other examples are all around you- the man who becomes a workaholic, rationalising that making (or then keeping) his first million is an justification, or an excuse for his private life being a nightmare, or allows him to avoid his deteriorating relationship with his partner at home, or his rapidly expanding waistline.
Or the woman who feels that if she just could find the type of man she deserved, she'd stop being an OCD control freak or letting food control her life and start smelling the roses of life as she walks past them.
So put a stop to this, right now.
First, take an honest look at where you life is and where it is going.
Right down a list of issues about you or in your life you're not happy with.
Write down a list of goals, along with how you can achieve them and realistic timescales (the very act of writing things down, because our minds are full of a myriad of constantly changing thoughts, cements and re-inforces an intention in the subconscious, which can help your future behaviour.
If you're interested in this, I highly recommend you check out the website of someone called Steve Pavlina, who has a fantastic article on his site called 'How to find your purpose in 20 minutes').
If it was sufficient to sit there day-dreaming of your idle life, half the developed world would be sitting on their yachts moored off the south of France.
And the other half would be in a spa where the only food available is Hagendaas or soft cream cheese served by a waiter called Tarquin.
No apologies for the blatant sterotype, ladies- it's the advertising, you see).
Next, you then need to deal with these issues.
Its simple, but hard.
If you don't have enough money or are unhappy at work, identify the solution, whether its getting a promotion, changing employers or perhaps most effective yet, actually doing what you love for a living- and work at it.
If you have issues from a previous relationship, deal with them.
Go see a counselor or get your sh*t sorted in your own way.
If you aren't happy with your physical appearance, commit to the changes in your lifestyle you need to turn it around.
Get educated, find what you need to be eating, hire a personal trainer- or kill three birds with one stone and get one of the programs from my site or hire me as a consultant.
It's not going to be quick or easy.
Nothing of value ever is.
Steel is forged out of heat and pressure and so are you.
Do something that scares you a bit every day.
Don't take the easy option.
Keep working and never stop.
And remember, there is no magic bullet.
(*There is a happy ending- in time I learnt to work out the difference between what I wanted and what I needed, detoxed my life, worked out what I wanted out of it, and now feel like a different person.
Just don't ask me where to go for a drink in town, that's all).
