10 Tips For Sports Parents When Their Kid" s Stop Listening
A frequent comment I hear from sports parents is, "He/She won't listen to me." I usually respond with a tongue-in-cheek remark, "That's what keeps me in business." There are generally two reasons why kids stop listening to their parents sports advice. One is because parents express too much emotion in their voice. This is understandable because parents care so much that their child succeeds in sports, but this intense caring often leads to an overly emotional voice followed by parental impatience. Tension between athlete and child is created and eventually the child chooses not to listen to their parents advice.
The second reason kids decide not to listen to their parent is that the child feels the parent has insufficient knowledge of the particular sport. Sometimes, the child is right with this belief. Whether they are right or not, they do not want to hear, or follow, what their parents have to say when it comes to sports instruction. Be quiet mom, Ill do it my way, dad, or Dont come to my games anymore or You dont know what you are talking about are often made athlete statements. Statements like these often hurt the parents' feelings.
All sports parents want the best for their kids and have good intentions. Often though, parents do not realize that their advice and actions are causing growing tension with their kids. Parents, who do not have an expertise with the sport, should leave the instruction up to qualified coaches who have credibility in that sport. However, by practicing patience when working with kids and using less emotion in their voices, they can get their kids to listen to their suggestions. Here are some suggestions for sports parents so kids might listen to them.
Parents should:
1. Use a matter of fact voice when giving tips, showing as little emotion as possible.
2. Qualify suggestions with words like, You might want to try this next time instead of a Do this, do that mentality.
3. Explain, This works for (some professional), maybe you want to try it. This type of advice gives suggestions more credibility.
4. Show pictures or videos of play and point out what is shown, instead of telling athletes what they need to do.
5. Gain greater understanding by studying the strategy and vernacular of the sport, so sports parents will have the reasons "why" something should be done a certain way.
6. Learn to back off when child begins to show frustration. Returning to practicing a drill and that a child is more successful at can help the child from getting too upset.
7. Always end practice on a good play, creating a positive memory for the athlete to bring to the next game or practice session.
8. Gain trust by waiting for the right moment to teach. Right after games when kids are most vulnerable, is not the best time for suggestions. Saving suggestions for a calm time is recommended.
9. Save tips for when kids appear frustrated. Kids are much more willing to listen when they have hit a real low (bad performance) than when they are having success.
10. Let your child know that, first and foremost, you expect effort and preparation and that you will be happy with any result when they try their best.
Inspirational comments like, "Play hard," "Have fun," and "I am proud of you" and "It's fun watching you play" are always necessary. Additional statements like, I always believe in you, This slump is only temporary and I am just trying to help are always good when said without too much emotion .
The second reason kids decide not to listen to their parent is that the child feels the parent has insufficient knowledge of the particular sport. Sometimes, the child is right with this belief. Whether they are right or not, they do not want to hear, or follow, what their parents have to say when it comes to sports instruction. Be quiet mom, Ill do it my way, dad, or Dont come to my games anymore or You dont know what you are talking about are often made athlete statements. Statements like these often hurt the parents' feelings.
All sports parents want the best for their kids and have good intentions. Often though, parents do not realize that their advice and actions are causing growing tension with their kids. Parents, who do not have an expertise with the sport, should leave the instruction up to qualified coaches who have credibility in that sport. However, by practicing patience when working with kids and using less emotion in their voices, they can get their kids to listen to their suggestions. Here are some suggestions for sports parents so kids might listen to them.
Parents should:
1. Use a matter of fact voice when giving tips, showing as little emotion as possible.
2. Qualify suggestions with words like, You might want to try this next time instead of a Do this, do that mentality.
3. Explain, This works for (some professional), maybe you want to try it. This type of advice gives suggestions more credibility.
4. Show pictures or videos of play and point out what is shown, instead of telling athletes what they need to do.
5. Gain greater understanding by studying the strategy and vernacular of the sport, so sports parents will have the reasons "why" something should be done a certain way.
6. Learn to back off when child begins to show frustration. Returning to practicing a drill and that a child is more successful at can help the child from getting too upset.
7. Always end practice on a good play, creating a positive memory for the athlete to bring to the next game or practice session.
8. Gain trust by waiting for the right moment to teach. Right after games when kids are most vulnerable, is not the best time for suggestions. Saving suggestions for a calm time is recommended.
9. Save tips for when kids appear frustrated. Kids are much more willing to listen when they have hit a real low (bad performance) than when they are having success.
10. Let your child know that, first and foremost, you expect effort and preparation and that you will be happy with any result when they try their best.
Inspirational comments like, "Play hard," "Have fun," and "I am proud of you" and "It's fun watching you play" are always necessary. Additional statements like, I always believe in you, This slump is only temporary and I am just trying to help are always good when said without too much emotion .
