Help for Dealing With an Alcoholic
Since you are here, you must need help in dealing with someone who is an alcoholic.
You have found the right resource.
I've been through intense real-life training in this arena.
I have a long list of qualifications to speak on this subject.
Let's keep it short though by just saying that I've attended well over two thousand alcoholism support group meetings in the past thirteen years.
Trust me, I know the pain and frustration you are dealing with all to well.
I also know how to help with your situation.
Why won't they just quit drinking? Please understand that people suffering from the disease of alcoholism generally don't decide to stop drinking until the hit bottom.
This bottom is usually caused by several crisis's in their lives.
They are physically and psychologically addicted to alcohol.
An experiment done in the nineteen seventies determined that there are genetic influences present in people who are addicted as well.
With these three things working against them, it's not JUST so easy for them to decide to quit.
When a problem drinker does decide to get help, usually the physical withdrawals are dealt with first and then the process of changing thinking habits is addressed afterward.
What can I do to help them stop drinking? When dealing with an alcoholic, there's not much we can do to make them stop.
We can help them by learning how to NOT be an enabler.
Part of this process of helping them also includes learning how to set boundaries.
As we put an end to always catching them when the fall, they will begin to experience the pain of their addiction.
This will help them reach their bottom quicker.
Another way to be helpful is by getting involved in support group meetings.
I am not talking about Alcoholic's Anonymous.
That program is for the alcoholic to get sober through.
I am suggesting finding a group designed to help the family, friends and co-workers of problem drinkers.
I know this sounds odd that you should go to support group meetings when they are the ones who have the problem.
Just trust me on this one.
You are being greatly effected by how they are living their life.
If you are not careful, you will become so obsessed with them that you will be forced to get help for yourself.
It happens every time.
What about trying an intervention, do they work? Periodically, I have heard of intervention working.
The alcoholic still has to be at the bottom though or else they may just do something about their problem in order to please someone else.
The victory in such a case will be short-lived.
Perhaps even a short-lived victory is better than no victory at all.
Why do I feel so guilty all of the time? When we are dealing with alcoholism, we have a tendency to say things we may not "really" mean.
Generally, we do this in response to the anger, frustration, fear, anxiety or depression we may be experiencing.
Another reason that we say hurtful things to the alcoholic is in defence of our character.
Many problem drinkers love to argue and fight.
When we get sucked into the whirlwind of dysfunctional behavior, we end up feeling guilty about how we treated them.
We also become disappointed in ourselves for losing control.
How can I stop these feelings of guilt? There two ways to end feeling guilty.
One is to learn how to have more self-control and not react in negative ways to the alcoholic's "button" pushing.
The other is to apologize to them for the hurtful things you did.
If you decide to admit to your wrongs, do this without having any expectations as to how they will react to your amend.
This is about you getting rid of the negative emotion.
You have no control over how they will react to what you say.
If you don't have any expectations-you will not be disappointed in their response.
There are hundreds of methods that work wonders for dealing with an alcoholic.
It has taken me thirteen years of attending alcoholism support group meetings to be fully equipped to handle any situation that arises when dealing with a problem drinker.
You have found the right resource.
I've been through intense real-life training in this arena.
I have a long list of qualifications to speak on this subject.
Let's keep it short though by just saying that I've attended well over two thousand alcoholism support group meetings in the past thirteen years.
Trust me, I know the pain and frustration you are dealing with all to well.
I also know how to help with your situation.
Why won't they just quit drinking? Please understand that people suffering from the disease of alcoholism generally don't decide to stop drinking until the hit bottom.
This bottom is usually caused by several crisis's in their lives.
They are physically and psychologically addicted to alcohol.
An experiment done in the nineteen seventies determined that there are genetic influences present in people who are addicted as well.
With these three things working against them, it's not JUST so easy for them to decide to quit.
When a problem drinker does decide to get help, usually the physical withdrawals are dealt with first and then the process of changing thinking habits is addressed afterward.
What can I do to help them stop drinking? When dealing with an alcoholic, there's not much we can do to make them stop.
We can help them by learning how to NOT be an enabler.
Part of this process of helping them also includes learning how to set boundaries.
As we put an end to always catching them when the fall, they will begin to experience the pain of their addiction.
This will help them reach their bottom quicker.
Another way to be helpful is by getting involved in support group meetings.
I am not talking about Alcoholic's Anonymous.
That program is for the alcoholic to get sober through.
I am suggesting finding a group designed to help the family, friends and co-workers of problem drinkers.
I know this sounds odd that you should go to support group meetings when they are the ones who have the problem.
Just trust me on this one.
You are being greatly effected by how they are living their life.
If you are not careful, you will become so obsessed with them that you will be forced to get help for yourself.
It happens every time.
What about trying an intervention, do they work? Periodically, I have heard of intervention working.
The alcoholic still has to be at the bottom though or else they may just do something about their problem in order to please someone else.
The victory in such a case will be short-lived.
Perhaps even a short-lived victory is better than no victory at all.
Why do I feel so guilty all of the time? When we are dealing with alcoholism, we have a tendency to say things we may not "really" mean.
Generally, we do this in response to the anger, frustration, fear, anxiety or depression we may be experiencing.
Another reason that we say hurtful things to the alcoholic is in defence of our character.
Many problem drinkers love to argue and fight.
When we get sucked into the whirlwind of dysfunctional behavior, we end up feeling guilty about how we treated them.
We also become disappointed in ourselves for losing control.
How can I stop these feelings of guilt? There two ways to end feeling guilty.
One is to learn how to have more self-control and not react in negative ways to the alcoholic's "button" pushing.
The other is to apologize to them for the hurtful things you did.
If you decide to admit to your wrongs, do this without having any expectations as to how they will react to your amend.
This is about you getting rid of the negative emotion.
You have no control over how they will react to what you say.
If you don't have any expectations-you will not be disappointed in their response.
There are hundreds of methods that work wonders for dealing with an alcoholic.
It has taken me thirteen years of attending alcoholism support group meetings to be fully equipped to handle any situation that arises when dealing with a problem drinker.
