Question: My son is a good kid, but he's not motivated to do his best in school. All of his teachers tell me that he's capable of getting better grades, but he doesn't seem to be trying very hard. It's like he'd just rather play video games or hang out with his friends! How can I motivate my son to do better?

Answer: The problem you describe isn't unusual, especially for boys. Here are some strategies for motivating your teen:

1. Model the behavior you want to see. Teens replicate what they see. So wherever possible, let your son see that you're setting goals and pursuing dreams, too. In other words, let him see you do the same things you're asking of him, like planning ahead and following through on your responsibilities.
2. Define your expectations. Be clear about what you're asking for, whether that's better test grades, chores completed on time, a more balanced use of his time, or all of the above.
3. Put appropriate systems in place. Does your teen have a system for keeping track of what's due and when? And what about studying for tests and quizzes? Has he discovered a solid routine that works for him? Try having him read his notes out loud to you or having you quiz him verbally on what he's learned. Or experiment with whether rewriting or typing his notes help. Different kids have different learning styles, and tapping in to his will help him retain the information he needs.
4. Enforce consequences. Even though teens are older, they still need their consequences to be fairly immediate. Experiment with what works best for you and what you can control. For example, if your teen is doing poorly in school because he's not doing his homework, make it a rule that he has to show you his assignment pad -- where he's written down the assignment or "no homework" for each class -- before he can go on the computer or play video games. If you need him to spend more time studying, tell him he can't go out on the weekend if he does poorly on a test or quiz during the week. He may never want to study. But if going out with his friends matters to him, he'll learn to make studying part of his routine.

1. Help your teen create realistic goals. Help your son set goals that are attainable. For example, ask him to raise his grades by one letter grade, rather than going from Ds to As.
2. Provide encouragement. Celebrate the little successes you see. For example, if he's studying on his own, or you can tell when you quiz him that he put some effort into preparing ahead of time, praise him for it! He may be a teenager, but your opinion still matters to him!
3. Stay in touch with your teen's teachers. A lot of parents pull back during the teen years and let their kids sink or swim on their own. If you want your son to be more motivated, though, staying in touch with his teachers can help. Share your concerns with them and ask for suggestions, too.
4. Help your teen manage his time. Teens can lose track of time easily. Left to their own devices, they'll spend multiple hours a day on a single video game or texting on their devices. Help your son manage his time by setting limits on when he can use his devices, and for how long.
5. Help your teen seek out new activities. Encourage your son to get involved in something new, whether it's taking a web design elective, joining a club, learning a new instrument, or something else that interests him. Teens are ripe for exploring new interests, and the thing that lights his fire could very well turn out to influence his future career!
6. Get your ex involved in the effort. Finally -- and possibly most importantly -- if your ex is an active part your child's life, then he or she needs to be part of the solution, too. Have a conversation about your concerns, what you're doing about them, and the progress you're seeing. The more the two of you can work together and maintain consistent expectations, the easier it will be for your teen to jump on board, too.