Who Does an Engagement Ring Belong to If the Couple Splits Up?
- Before the 1950's, many states in the U.S. had what were called heart balm statutes. These were laws allowing people to sue on grounds such as alienation of affection or breach of promise and seduction if an engagement was broken off. After the 1950's, most states repealed these laws, but a handful of states still allow these suits under certain circumstances (see References). Modern courts are less likely to worry about why an engagement has been broken.
- States' decisions on returning engagement rings can be grouped into four types. The first group of states considers the ring a conditional gift. A conditional gift is one that does not become final until a condition is met. That condition is usually the wedding. Fault may be considered under this rule, so that a man who calls off an engagement may not get the ring back unless the woman has misbehaved or been unfaithful. Other states have a no-fault rule and will not consider fault at all. The third type of state applies the implied gift rule, which means that the man cannot get the ring back if he breaks up the engagement, but a woman who breaks an engagement must return the ring. The last type of state applies the unconditional gift rule, which holds that an engagement ring is a like every other gift and the gift is final at the moment the ring is given (see References).
- In states applying the conditional gift rule, the ring usually must be returned unless the man has misbehaved or did not have a legal right to make the gift conditional. For example, if he was still married to someone else at the time of the engagement he may not have had the right to make a conditional arrangement. In no-fault states the ring must always be returned. In implied gift states it depends on who breaks the engagement. In unconditional gift states the woman gets to keep the ring.
- Courts sometimes make exceptions to the usual rules on returning engagement rings if the ring is a family heirloom. The man is more likely to get a ring back if it is an heirloom. Other engagement gifts, including gift given by the woman to the man, are usually treated the same as engagement rings under state law.
- The best way to avoid any conflict about the return of the engagement ring in case of a breakup is to enter into a written agreement at the time of the engagement, stating what will happen to the ring. You may want to do this if the ring is a valued family heirloom. The issue of the engagement ring can also be included in an agreement called a prenuptial agreement.