How Not To Be Assertive!
What follows is a guide to being assertive by an imaginary character called A R Rogant. It's a light-hearted look at how not to be assertive, I suppose. I hope you enjoy...
[BEGIN]
HELLO, MY NAME IS ANDY R. ROGANT (or A R Rogant for short)!
Sorry for shouting but this is too important a subject to be quiet about!
Anyway, I'm here to tell you, in as plain a language as I want to use, just how to be assertive. (The fact that you need someone confident like me to show you how to do ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION - well, hmm, I'll leave that for another article!)
Okay, well being assertive is all about following these simple rules or steps. (And I know how much 'you people' like 'simple', after all!)
Yes, these are my assertiveness training steps and they've seen me get to where I am today. Which - let's make no mistake about this - is a place where *I'm* doing the writing, and you're doing the reading, if you get my drift!
STEP 1: Always Agree With People!
Yep, if someone says something that you don't agree with, well let's face it you are probably wrong here - you usually are! So, why not save everyone time and hassle, and just agree with them straight away. The person you disagree with - everybody, actually - will like you for it, for sure.
STEP 2: Say 'Yes' More Often!
Again, saying 'no' to people often causes them much discomfort and makes them frown. And then they'll think horrid things about you, even if they'd have said 'no' if they were you. It is much more important, after all, that you don't upset people - so just say 'yes'. There's a good boy (girl).
STEP 3: Be AGGRESSIVE!
Y'know, if those first two steps of mine leave you feeling a bit cross and angry - and, hey, if you're fool enough to listen to some stranger tell you how to behave then I'm also feeling cross and angry right now, at you! - then this next step is the one you should pay most attention to.
Yes, when it comes to how to be assertive with someone the thing to do is to state quite clearly - loudly, if necessary - just exactly what you think, and why! And leave them in no doubt that they are wrong and you are right! And if this means that you make a fool of them in the process, then so be it.
And ignore completely those people who think you're just being arrogant. They're just jealous that they never had the chance to listen to me show them how to be assertive, most likely.
--
Okay, that's enough about being assertive for now! I don't want to confuse you too much, after all, and I think I'd like to talk about something else, now that we're all in agreement here.
I do hope, though, that I've given you some clear steps as to how to be assertive. And if I haven't, well I can't be blamed because you just don't 'get it', can I!
Oh, I do have one last tip: ALWAYS ignore those irritating inspirational quotes on this subject. They're usually written by some limp-wristed fop who hasn't the first clue about assertiveness, after all...
"Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!" -- Shakti Gawain
See what I mean? What has that daft quotation got to do with communicating assertively like I've just done!...
[END]
As for me, I hope you're more in alignment with S Gawain than with A R Rogant, at least when it comes to learning how to be assertive anyway.
Thank you for reading.
Copyright (c) 2010 Steve M Nash
[BEGIN]
HELLO, MY NAME IS ANDY R. ROGANT (or A R Rogant for short)!
Sorry for shouting but this is too important a subject to be quiet about!
Anyway, I'm here to tell you, in as plain a language as I want to use, just how to be assertive. (The fact that you need someone confident like me to show you how to do ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION - well, hmm, I'll leave that for another article!)
Okay, well being assertive is all about following these simple rules or steps. (And I know how much 'you people' like 'simple', after all!)
Yes, these are my assertiveness training steps and they've seen me get to where I am today. Which - let's make no mistake about this - is a place where *I'm* doing the writing, and you're doing the reading, if you get my drift!
STEP 1: Always Agree With People!
Yep, if someone says something that you don't agree with, well let's face it you are probably wrong here - you usually are! So, why not save everyone time and hassle, and just agree with them straight away. The person you disagree with - everybody, actually - will like you for it, for sure.
STEP 2: Say 'Yes' More Often!
Again, saying 'no' to people often causes them much discomfort and makes them frown. And then they'll think horrid things about you, even if they'd have said 'no' if they were you. It is much more important, after all, that you don't upset people - so just say 'yes'. There's a good boy (girl).
STEP 3: Be AGGRESSIVE!
Y'know, if those first two steps of mine leave you feeling a bit cross and angry - and, hey, if you're fool enough to listen to some stranger tell you how to behave then I'm also feeling cross and angry right now, at you! - then this next step is the one you should pay most attention to.
Yes, when it comes to how to be assertive with someone the thing to do is to state quite clearly - loudly, if necessary - just exactly what you think, and why! And leave them in no doubt that they are wrong and you are right! And if this means that you make a fool of them in the process, then so be it.
And ignore completely those people who think you're just being arrogant. They're just jealous that they never had the chance to listen to me show them how to be assertive, most likely.
--
Okay, that's enough about being assertive for now! I don't want to confuse you too much, after all, and I think I'd like to talk about something else, now that we're all in agreement here.
I do hope, though, that I've given you some clear steps as to how to be assertive. And if I haven't, well I can't be blamed because you just don't 'get it', can I!
Oh, I do have one last tip: ALWAYS ignore those irritating inspirational quotes on this subject. They're usually written by some limp-wristed fop who hasn't the first clue about assertiveness, after all...
"Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!" -- Shakti Gawain
See what I mean? What has that daft quotation got to do with communicating assertively like I've just done!...
[END]
As for me, I hope you're more in alignment with S Gawain than with A R Rogant, at least when it comes to learning how to be assertive anyway.
Thank you for reading.
Copyright (c) 2010 Steve M Nash
