Are Affirmations the Secret Sauce in Recovering From Sex Addiction?
What do affirmations have to do with sex addiction? Probably not much, most would think.
But, many people with a sex addiction suffer from a poor self image, otherwise known as low self esteem.
Low self esteem is really a set of negative beliefs you may have about your own worth or value as a human being.
These beliefs are held as habitual beliefs at the subconscious level.
These negative attitudes about your worth for the most part have been imparted to you and reinforced from a very young age.
You can't consciously reason your way out of these negative beliefs.
Low Self Esteem and Sex Addiction An expert in sex addiction, Patrick Carnes, indicates that addicts have a set of core beliefs that make them susceptible to addiction.
The first belief is that "I am basically a bad, unworthy person.
" And, next in line is that "No one would love me as I am.
" These specific beliefs are prime examples of a negative self image.
So, it should seem obvious that one component of the treatment of sexually addicted persons should be to boost their self esteem.
Helping the person to have a more positive self image should help them become less susceptible to continuing their sex addiction.
A couple of tactics are important when attempting to boost your self esteem.
First, try to identify your negative thought patterns and their causes.
You might recall your parents being overly critical and generalizing their criticism.
For example, if you spilled your milk, they may say that you were just plain clumsy.
Or, if you did poorly on a test, they may have said your were a dummy.
Such generalized criticisms can become part of your default thinking about yourself.
Embedded at the subconscious level, these negative images are difficult to overcome.
Another type of negativity is due to physical or sexual abuse and is particularly destructive.
This teaches the youngster that they are only worthy to be the object of an adult's emotional expression.
Being used as a pleasure object or a punching bag instills fear and uncertainty in the minds and hearts of young people.
And that continues on into adult life.
Second, make an inventory of your hopes and dreams for the future.
What would you like to be able to accomplish in the future? What changes in your personality or character would you like to bring about? Constructing Affirmations Your current negative thought patterns along with your hopes and dreams can be used to help update and replace your current negative thinking patterns.
You start by writing out "forward looking" statements that describe who you would like to become.
These affirmations tell you mind how you want to think about yourself.
There are some simple guidelines to use in constructing these affirmations: Positive: Compose thoughts you want to implant into your subconscious rather than describing what you want to displace.
Personal: Use "I" or "me" in your statements.
Present Tense: These are the ideas you want to express as your present reality.
Even though they may be "forward looking" now, they will be real later.
Using Affirmations You can now use these affirmations in at least three effective ways.
First, use them consciously by repeating them or meditating on them.
Place them where you will see them frequently throughout the day.
Second, many people use hypnosis as a way to directly influence the subconscious mind.
The hypnotherapist can help you imagine yourself as a smart, capable, loving, lovable, and helpful person.
Third, subliminal messaging can flash your affirmations on your PC screen in a way that is beyond the conscious mind's recognition threshold, but is recognized by the subconscious mind.
Hundreds of exposures per hour to these messages can help your subconscious mind accept these positive new thoughts and slowly replace the old, negative thoughts.
As you turn the corner on your negative self image you will have less desire to engage in the destructive addictive behavior.
And, you will find that, indeed, affirmations are the secret sauce that helps break sexual addictions.
But, many people with a sex addiction suffer from a poor self image, otherwise known as low self esteem.
Low self esteem is really a set of negative beliefs you may have about your own worth or value as a human being.
These beliefs are held as habitual beliefs at the subconscious level.
These negative attitudes about your worth for the most part have been imparted to you and reinforced from a very young age.
You can't consciously reason your way out of these negative beliefs.
Low Self Esteem and Sex Addiction An expert in sex addiction, Patrick Carnes, indicates that addicts have a set of core beliefs that make them susceptible to addiction.
The first belief is that "I am basically a bad, unworthy person.
" And, next in line is that "No one would love me as I am.
" These specific beliefs are prime examples of a negative self image.
So, it should seem obvious that one component of the treatment of sexually addicted persons should be to boost their self esteem.
Helping the person to have a more positive self image should help them become less susceptible to continuing their sex addiction.
A couple of tactics are important when attempting to boost your self esteem.
First, try to identify your negative thought patterns and their causes.
You might recall your parents being overly critical and generalizing their criticism.
For example, if you spilled your milk, they may say that you were just plain clumsy.
Or, if you did poorly on a test, they may have said your were a dummy.
Such generalized criticisms can become part of your default thinking about yourself.
Embedded at the subconscious level, these negative images are difficult to overcome.
Another type of negativity is due to physical or sexual abuse and is particularly destructive.
This teaches the youngster that they are only worthy to be the object of an adult's emotional expression.
Being used as a pleasure object or a punching bag instills fear and uncertainty in the minds and hearts of young people.
And that continues on into adult life.
Second, make an inventory of your hopes and dreams for the future.
What would you like to be able to accomplish in the future? What changes in your personality or character would you like to bring about? Constructing Affirmations Your current negative thought patterns along with your hopes and dreams can be used to help update and replace your current negative thinking patterns.
You start by writing out "forward looking" statements that describe who you would like to become.
These affirmations tell you mind how you want to think about yourself.
There are some simple guidelines to use in constructing these affirmations: Positive: Compose thoughts you want to implant into your subconscious rather than describing what you want to displace.
Personal: Use "I" or "me" in your statements.
Present Tense: These are the ideas you want to express as your present reality.
Even though they may be "forward looking" now, they will be real later.
Using Affirmations You can now use these affirmations in at least three effective ways.
First, use them consciously by repeating them or meditating on them.
Place them where you will see them frequently throughout the day.
Second, many people use hypnosis as a way to directly influence the subconscious mind.
The hypnotherapist can help you imagine yourself as a smart, capable, loving, lovable, and helpful person.
Third, subliminal messaging can flash your affirmations on your PC screen in a way that is beyond the conscious mind's recognition threshold, but is recognized by the subconscious mind.
Hundreds of exposures per hour to these messages can help your subconscious mind accept these positive new thoughts and slowly replace the old, negative thoughts.
As you turn the corner on your negative self image you will have less desire to engage in the destructive addictive behavior.
And, you will find that, indeed, affirmations are the secret sauce that helps break sexual addictions.
