Dementia Mom Follows Me Everywhere
Your Mom has dementia.
She's always been pretty good but just lately it's like she's following you everywhere.
She even opens the bathroom when you're in there and wants to get in there with you.
Did I hear you say,"Help, I'm going crazy?" Okay, I'm here.
Relax for goodness' sake.
And I have the answer for you.
How can you stop her following you everywhere? Simple, change your attitude.
Your Mom is doing this just in the same way that a young child follows Mom around and for pretty much the same reason.
She's too frightened to be alone.
She's insecure -- as we all would be if we were caught in the web of dementia.
You have become her security.
It's only annoying if you continue to find it so.
And, ironically or all part of God's great plan -- I never know -- the more annoyed you are, the more you will feed your Mom's anxiety level.
This following around thing -- it usually happens under fairly specific conditions.
What makes Dementia Mom follow you everywhere? 1.
She's feeling very scared; 2.
You are her security, her adopted mother; 3.
She's frightened when she can't see you; 4.
She needs your protection.
Why did she start doing this? 1.
A change of environment; 2.
A change of people in her environment; 3.
A disturbing event, like going to hospital; 4.
A drop in her functioning level.
Those are the most usual background issues which underline this annoying-to-you and yet harmless behavior.
If you think carefully about what has happened lately, you will probably be able to identify what set this off.
The good news, my dears, is that this behavior doesn't usually go on for very long.
That's because while dementia may not get better, Mom's inner sense of emotional security probably will.
Which brings me back to you.
What You Can Do To Help: 1.
Don't unload your anger on your Mom.
She's sick and old and can't help herself; 2.
The nicer you are, the sooner this will stop; 3.
Build more security into her life; 4.
Develop ways she can feel useful; 5.
Find other things for her to do; 6.
Have people take her out; 7.
Take responsibility for your own feelings; 8.
Be kind.
This following habit usually goes away in a short period of time -- maybe a week or so.
The calmer and nicer you are, the better she feels, the sooner it stops.
The more you figure out how she can become a real part of the family again, even with her limitations, the more secure she'll feel.
You need a care plan for her and one for yourself.
Yes, I know -- you're too busy to make a care plan.
Fine.
That kind of attitude won't help either of you, missy.
This is an old ill person who's just lost right now.
That's why she trailing around after you.
So help her have a place in your life.
Don't leave her to sit like a log on the sofa forever.
Have her help you do stuff -- even if she doesn't do it well.
Give her a chance to belong.
She's always been pretty good but just lately it's like she's following you everywhere.
She even opens the bathroom when you're in there and wants to get in there with you.
Did I hear you say,"Help, I'm going crazy?" Okay, I'm here.
Relax for goodness' sake.
And I have the answer for you.
How can you stop her following you everywhere? Simple, change your attitude.
Your Mom is doing this just in the same way that a young child follows Mom around and for pretty much the same reason.
She's too frightened to be alone.
She's insecure -- as we all would be if we were caught in the web of dementia.
You have become her security.
It's only annoying if you continue to find it so.
And, ironically or all part of God's great plan -- I never know -- the more annoyed you are, the more you will feed your Mom's anxiety level.
This following around thing -- it usually happens under fairly specific conditions.
What makes Dementia Mom follow you everywhere? 1.
She's feeling very scared; 2.
You are her security, her adopted mother; 3.
She's frightened when she can't see you; 4.
She needs your protection.
Why did she start doing this? 1.
A change of environment; 2.
A change of people in her environment; 3.
A disturbing event, like going to hospital; 4.
A drop in her functioning level.
Those are the most usual background issues which underline this annoying-to-you and yet harmless behavior.
If you think carefully about what has happened lately, you will probably be able to identify what set this off.
The good news, my dears, is that this behavior doesn't usually go on for very long.
That's because while dementia may not get better, Mom's inner sense of emotional security probably will.
Which brings me back to you.
What You Can Do To Help: 1.
Don't unload your anger on your Mom.
She's sick and old and can't help herself; 2.
The nicer you are, the sooner this will stop; 3.
Build more security into her life; 4.
Develop ways she can feel useful; 5.
Find other things for her to do; 6.
Have people take her out; 7.
Take responsibility for your own feelings; 8.
Be kind.
This following habit usually goes away in a short period of time -- maybe a week or so.
The calmer and nicer you are, the better she feels, the sooner it stops.
The more you figure out how she can become a real part of the family again, even with her limitations, the more secure she'll feel.
You need a care plan for her and one for yourself.
Yes, I know -- you're too busy to make a care plan.
Fine.
That kind of attitude won't help either of you, missy.
This is an old ill person who's just lost right now.
That's why she trailing around after you.
So help her have a place in your life.
Don't leave her to sit like a log on the sofa forever.
Have her help you do stuff -- even if she doesn't do it well.
Give her a chance to belong.
