How Social Support Helps to Deal With Stress: We"re Engineered to Care
Intuitively, we all recognize that we deal with stress better when we have the support of people around us.
But did you know that our biology encourages us to seek out social support, and even to reach out to others in need? And it does this as an automatic response to stress.
In my last article I reviewed the first part of a TED Talk by Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal, called "How to Make Stress Your Friend," in which she showed that a positive attitude toward stress can protect against harmful effects to your body.
In the second part, McGonigal went on to explain how our bodies understand our need for social support, and release a hormone when we are stressed that actually causes us to seek social connections.
This stress hormone is oxytocin, a happy hormone if there ever was one.
We don't control it.
It is released at the beginning of our stress response as automatically as the adrenaline which makes our heart race and gives us the strength to run or fight off danger.
Most of us probably have no idea that it is there.
Oxytocin is a hormone that works on the brain.
As McGonigal puts it, it motivates us to reach for social support, by causing us to "crave physical contact.
" That's why we know we need a hug, and why hugs make us feel better, too.
Instead of trying to carry all our stress alone, you bodies know we'd be better off with the support of friends or family, and they actually push us to seek it out.
A hormone of caring.
Encouraging social support to deal with our stress is not oxytocin's only role.
It also creates empathy for those around us, so we can more easily recognize when other people need our help.
It fosters our sense of community and caring.
It generates compassion.
Most of us know that when we show compassion, our own sense of connectedness grows.
We feel we share common bonds, that we are not in this alone.
Together we feel reassured that we can cope with whatever we are facing.
And we feel less stress.
We see this every day when disaster strikes somewhere and people pull together to make it through.
We see volunteers working hard to help their neighbors.
So I guess it shouldn't be a surprise to learn that we are engineered to help each other.
That our biology makes want to care.
Love really does heal your heart.
Poets and Valentine makers have plenty of sentiments linking our hearts to feelings of love.
But there is actually a biological connection there as well.
According to McGonical, not only does oxytocin impact your brain, it plays an important role in protecting your cardiovascular system from the effects of stress.
Oxytocin acts as a natural inflammatory, and helps keep blood vessels relaxed when you are under pressure.
And it strengthens your heart.
Furthermore, the heart healthy effects of oxytocin get a boost whenever you reach out for social support, or give love and compassion to others.
The more charity you feel, the more benefits your heart receives.
So, the next time you feel stressed, it could be good to know that the natural thing to do is not to try and face things alone.
Seeking help and comfort is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign that you belong, and that we all need each other.
You can even help your own need for support by giving help to others.
Knowing that our bodies actually help us deal with stress, by giving us boosts of strength and encouraging us to rely on each other, should encourage us that we can take stress in stride.
The more we understand the good parts of stress, the healthier we will be.
You can watch Kelly McGonigal's entertaining and enlightening TED Talk at: http://www.
ted.
com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.
html.
If you found this helpful, please let us know in the comments section, and share us on your favorite social media.
We love hearing from you.
But did you know that our biology encourages us to seek out social support, and even to reach out to others in need? And it does this as an automatic response to stress.
In my last article I reviewed the first part of a TED Talk by Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal, called "How to Make Stress Your Friend," in which she showed that a positive attitude toward stress can protect against harmful effects to your body.
In the second part, McGonigal went on to explain how our bodies understand our need for social support, and release a hormone when we are stressed that actually causes us to seek social connections.
This stress hormone is oxytocin, a happy hormone if there ever was one.
We don't control it.
It is released at the beginning of our stress response as automatically as the adrenaline which makes our heart race and gives us the strength to run or fight off danger.
Most of us probably have no idea that it is there.
Oxytocin is a hormone that works on the brain.
As McGonigal puts it, it motivates us to reach for social support, by causing us to "crave physical contact.
" That's why we know we need a hug, and why hugs make us feel better, too.
Instead of trying to carry all our stress alone, you bodies know we'd be better off with the support of friends or family, and they actually push us to seek it out.
A hormone of caring.
Encouraging social support to deal with our stress is not oxytocin's only role.
It also creates empathy for those around us, so we can more easily recognize when other people need our help.
It fosters our sense of community and caring.
It generates compassion.
Most of us know that when we show compassion, our own sense of connectedness grows.
We feel we share common bonds, that we are not in this alone.
Together we feel reassured that we can cope with whatever we are facing.
And we feel less stress.
We see this every day when disaster strikes somewhere and people pull together to make it through.
We see volunteers working hard to help their neighbors.
So I guess it shouldn't be a surprise to learn that we are engineered to help each other.
That our biology makes want to care.
Love really does heal your heart.
Poets and Valentine makers have plenty of sentiments linking our hearts to feelings of love.
But there is actually a biological connection there as well.
According to McGonical, not only does oxytocin impact your brain, it plays an important role in protecting your cardiovascular system from the effects of stress.
Oxytocin acts as a natural inflammatory, and helps keep blood vessels relaxed when you are under pressure.
And it strengthens your heart.
Furthermore, the heart healthy effects of oxytocin get a boost whenever you reach out for social support, or give love and compassion to others.
The more charity you feel, the more benefits your heart receives.
So, the next time you feel stressed, it could be good to know that the natural thing to do is not to try and face things alone.
Seeking help and comfort is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign that you belong, and that we all need each other.
You can even help your own need for support by giving help to others.
Knowing that our bodies actually help us deal with stress, by giving us boosts of strength and encouraging us to rely on each other, should encourage us that we can take stress in stride.
The more we understand the good parts of stress, the healthier we will be.
You can watch Kelly McGonigal's entertaining and enlightening TED Talk at: http://www.
ted.
com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.
html.
If you found this helpful, please let us know in the comments section, and share us on your favorite social media.
We love hearing from you.
