I Said No!
Saying NO and sticking to it can be difficult for those living in an abusive relationship.
Saying NO to a partner in a healthy relationship may not be liked but is usually accepted.
Saying NO to a controlling partner in an abusive relationship is not only unaccepted but usually sets off anger.
This anger is not caused from the partner saying NO but from the controlling person not having power over their partner.
Furthermore, this anger can easily turn into rage if they don't get their way or feel out of control.
Regaining control is the goal and many times, physical force, intimidation, threats, and fear are used to turn their partner's NO into a YES to get them to comply to their demands.
A controlling partner's world is all about them--their wants, their needs and their desires and NOT about what their partner wants or needs.
The controlling partner's inner world is so painful or upsetting that the only way to cope in life is to try to control people and their outer world.
When the outer world complies to their demands, then their inner world becomes somewhat calm which then rewards and helps justify their demanding and controlling behavior.
When a controlling partner's inner world is in this much turmoil, there is no concept of how other people think, feel or what their needs and wants may be.
Easing their own pain and inner conflicts are the most important elements and the driving force behind their controlling behavior.
Extreme measures may be taken to achieve this endeavor even the use of emotional or physical harm on others and themselves.
Being in control of others or the situation is their only escape from dealing with their inner turmoil.
Partners in abusive relationships learn that saying NO only invites anger or some type of negative reaction which forces them to comply with the demands.
Unfortunately, the demands usually increase over time as well as any forceful attempts to get others to obey to be able to keep their painful inner world suppressed.
The demands usually turn into more emotional abuse, physical and domestic violence.
If you are living in an abusive relationship and afraid to say NO because of the negative reaction you will receive from your controlling partner, there is help available for you.
Please seek out to learn and understand controlling behavior and patterns to help set you free from this type of unhealthy relationship and living.
Call a professional who understands abusive behavior or your local domestic violence shelter today to learn ways to get you out from another's control and abuse.
Call today! You deserve to live life with love and peace.
Saying NO to a partner in a healthy relationship may not be liked but is usually accepted.
Saying NO to a controlling partner in an abusive relationship is not only unaccepted but usually sets off anger.
This anger is not caused from the partner saying NO but from the controlling person not having power over their partner.
Furthermore, this anger can easily turn into rage if they don't get their way or feel out of control.
Regaining control is the goal and many times, physical force, intimidation, threats, and fear are used to turn their partner's NO into a YES to get them to comply to their demands.
A controlling partner's world is all about them--their wants, their needs and their desires and NOT about what their partner wants or needs.
The controlling partner's inner world is so painful or upsetting that the only way to cope in life is to try to control people and their outer world.
When the outer world complies to their demands, then their inner world becomes somewhat calm which then rewards and helps justify their demanding and controlling behavior.
When a controlling partner's inner world is in this much turmoil, there is no concept of how other people think, feel or what their needs and wants may be.
Easing their own pain and inner conflicts are the most important elements and the driving force behind their controlling behavior.
Extreme measures may be taken to achieve this endeavor even the use of emotional or physical harm on others and themselves.
Being in control of others or the situation is their only escape from dealing with their inner turmoil.
Partners in abusive relationships learn that saying NO only invites anger or some type of negative reaction which forces them to comply with the demands.
Unfortunately, the demands usually increase over time as well as any forceful attempts to get others to obey to be able to keep their painful inner world suppressed.
The demands usually turn into more emotional abuse, physical and domestic violence.
If you are living in an abusive relationship and afraid to say NO because of the negative reaction you will receive from your controlling partner, there is help available for you.
Please seek out to learn and understand controlling behavior and patterns to help set you free from this type of unhealthy relationship and living.
Call a professional who understands abusive behavior or your local domestic violence shelter today to learn ways to get you out from another's control and abuse.
Call today! You deserve to live life with love and peace.