Finding the Gift When "Life Happens"
Thanksgiving is coming...
and I'm not feeling particularly thankful about everything in my life.
Rich, my husband and love of my life, is experiencing extreme digestive problems and the doctors can't seem to find an explanation, much less a cure.
For more than two weeks he has had bouts where the pain on a scale of 1-10 has been a 12+.
We have consulted with all kinds of doctors including alternative medicine (each with various ideas sometimes conflicting with each other), visited our small town ER in the middle of the night, and even had testing done at a research hospital in Denver.
We have a trip to Costa Rica scheduled around Thanksgiving Week and are wondering if we will need to cancel.
I do truly believe there is a gift in everything that happens...
something for which we can give thanks.
So, I've been searching for one (do I dare hope for two?) in this episode.
Below, I intend to list what comes to my heart today and my hope is that writing it down will lead to something that shifts me to a new awareness: 1.
I am thankful that all the tests reveal no tumor or mass within Rich.
2.
I am thankful that there are tests and procedures that may find what is wrong.
(Note: I just went back and changed my words from, "I can be thankful...
" to "I am thankful...
".
Uhmmm, the beginning of a shift in awareness? 3.
I am thankful that we have the resources to explore all the alternatives.
4.
I am thankful that I can be here for Rich to support him in every way...
even to just hold him when he is in the extreme pain.
5.
I am thankful that I can share my emotions with him and that he will understand...
does through today anyway, smile...
even the ones that don't support him but are my not-so-good way of expressing my frustration in the moment.
6.
I am thankful that I can understand how/why he is expressing his frustration even when it hurts a bit.
7.
I am thankful for the offers of kindness from friends to keep the dog or to bring food when we are exhausted from no sleep or just to listen.
8.
I am thankful for all the research and offers of advice from everyone...
and that we don't have to accept it all as "truth" for Rich.
9.
I am thankful that I have experienced life enough to know, "this too shall pass".
10.
I am thankful that we live in a time where we can believe there will be a solution and that we will be led to it 11.
I am thankful that we are experiencing gorgeous fall weather with golden leaves shining against the bright blue sky.
12.
I am thankful that we will have most of our children and grandchildren visiting for Christmas.
13.
I am thankful that the presidential election is only a few weeks away and political commercials will disappear! (Just had to add this one!) 14.
I am thankful that I have some practices to support me in finding new awareness in my life.
15.
I am thankful that I realize this practice is supporting me...
and that it is not "done" with this newsletter.
What new awareness did I gain from writing this list? As I progressed through the list, I realized I was moving to the bigger picture and things outside of "the problem".
I know that doing that puts things in perspective and/or supports me in seeing there is more to life than just "my problem".
For example: Of course I already realized that if we have to cancel the trip, it is not the end of all trips...
but now I feel that deep within myself and it is okay whatever happens.
I know that moving to music will help me release more of these emotions and that will certainly serve me.
I think I will go dance! Bye...
and Happy Thanksgiving!! "Gratitude bestows reverance, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world..
" - John Milton
and I'm not feeling particularly thankful about everything in my life.
Rich, my husband and love of my life, is experiencing extreme digestive problems and the doctors can't seem to find an explanation, much less a cure.
For more than two weeks he has had bouts where the pain on a scale of 1-10 has been a 12+.
We have consulted with all kinds of doctors including alternative medicine (each with various ideas sometimes conflicting with each other), visited our small town ER in the middle of the night, and even had testing done at a research hospital in Denver.
We have a trip to Costa Rica scheduled around Thanksgiving Week and are wondering if we will need to cancel.
I do truly believe there is a gift in everything that happens...
something for which we can give thanks.
So, I've been searching for one (do I dare hope for two?) in this episode.
Below, I intend to list what comes to my heart today and my hope is that writing it down will lead to something that shifts me to a new awareness: 1.
I am thankful that all the tests reveal no tumor or mass within Rich.
2.
I am thankful that there are tests and procedures that may find what is wrong.
(Note: I just went back and changed my words from, "I can be thankful...
" to "I am thankful...
".
Uhmmm, the beginning of a shift in awareness? 3.
I am thankful that we have the resources to explore all the alternatives.
4.
I am thankful that I can be here for Rich to support him in every way...
even to just hold him when he is in the extreme pain.
5.
I am thankful that I can share my emotions with him and that he will understand...
does through today anyway, smile...
even the ones that don't support him but are my not-so-good way of expressing my frustration in the moment.
6.
I am thankful that I can understand how/why he is expressing his frustration even when it hurts a bit.
7.
I am thankful for the offers of kindness from friends to keep the dog or to bring food when we are exhausted from no sleep or just to listen.
8.
I am thankful for all the research and offers of advice from everyone...
and that we don't have to accept it all as "truth" for Rich.
9.
I am thankful that I have experienced life enough to know, "this too shall pass".
10.
I am thankful that we live in a time where we can believe there will be a solution and that we will be led to it 11.
I am thankful that we are experiencing gorgeous fall weather with golden leaves shining against the bright blue sky.
12.
I am thankful that we will have most of our children and grandchildren visiting for Christmas.
13.
I am thankful that the presidential election is only a few weeks away and political commercials will disappear! (Just had to add this one!) 14.
I am thankful that I have some practices to support me in finding new awareness in my life.
15.
I am thankful that I realize this practice is supporting me...
and that it is not "done" with this newsletter.
What new awareness did I gain from writing this list? As I progressed through the list, I realized I was moving to the bigger picture and things outside of "the problem".
I know that doing that puts things in perspective and/or supports me in seeing there is more to life than just "my problem".
For example: Of course I already realized that if we have to cancel the trip, it is not the end of all trips...
but now I feel that deep within myself and it is okay whatever happens.
I know that moving to music will help me release more of these emotions and that will certainly serve me.
I think I will go dance! Bye...
and Happy Thanksgiving!! "Gratitude bestows reverance, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world..
" - John Milton
