“am I a Good Mom?” - a New Mother’s Guide to Parentin
Being a mother can be fulfilling especially when everything goes well with the new baby. Picture perfect moments of bonding with baby are the stuff which most new moms dream of. In reality, however, the world of a new mom is not always rosy. There are moments when your baby will do things that will cause you to worry. There will also be times when your baby will not seem to respond well to all the love and affection you show.
As your baby grows older, he or she will start displaying different types of behavior. Occasionally, your baby may misbehave, fail to follow your instructions, throw things at you, hit you or cry unceasingly for unknown reasons. As a mom, we feel that it is our primary role to be our baby’s source of comfort so that a baby that is upset makes us feel inadequate or insecure. A new mom’s self confidence can be eroded further when her baby suddenly gets sick. Babies do get sick every now and then, and when this happens, most of us wonder where we went wrong or what we may have failed to do, as if to imply that we are the cause of our babies’ illnesses.
Your baby is like any other child who will continuously develop traits that can lead you to pause and reflect on your parenting skills. The question, “Am I a good mom?” will come up every now and then. Can anybody tell you what makes a woman a good mom?
What is a Good Mom?
a. Some adjectives. There is no textbook definition of a good mother. As every child is unique, so will a good mother be different in various situations. People describe a good mother in different ways, using a combination of words such as: patient, kind, understanding, generous, affectionate, loving, hardworking, persevering, efficient, reliable, sensitive, sacrificing, and intuitive. The list goes on.
b. Unconditional love. A common denominator among those who are perceived to be good moms is this: All the things that make a mom great are stuff that manifest her unconditional love for her child. A mom cannot go wrong with her child if her actions and decisions are guided by her love.
c. Guiding light. Mistakes that your baby will make are part of growing up. While it is your role to guide your baby as he or she is developing, problems in your baby’s behavior do not always imply that you are a bad mother. Do not be too hard on yourself. You did your best; some things just don’t turn out the way we want them to.
d. Sharing parental responsibility. A good mother can share parenting duties with others like her baby’s dad or some other responsible person. Allowing someone else, like your partner or members of your immediate family, to participate in raising your baby does not make you a bad mom already. A good mother is not necessarily a super mom. She knows when it is necessary to delegate minor baby care duties to someone she trusts in order to get other pressing tasks done.
Don’t let anyone or anything lead you into thinking that you failed as a mother. Resist the urge to question your parenting abilities. Avoid making comparisons with other moms and their babies. Your maternal instinct and sound judgment should make you the best person to decide what’s best for your baby. In the meantime, I encourage you to shower your baby with all the love, care and attention you can give him or her now. What matters is that in the eyes of your baby, you are a good mom.
As your baby grows older, he or she will start displaying different types of behavior. Occasionally, your baby may misbehave, fail to follow your instructions, throw things at you, hit you or cry unceasingly for unknown reasons. As a mom, we feel that it is our primary role to be our baby’s source of comfort so that a baby that is upset makes us feel inadequate or insecure. A new mom’s self confidence can be eroded further when her baby suddenly gets sick. Babies do get sick every now and then, and when this happens, most of us wonder where we went wrong or what we may have failed to do, as if to imply that we are the cause of our babies’ illnesses.
Your baby is like any other child who will continuously develop traits that can lead you to pause and reflect on your parenting skills. The question, “Am I a good mom?” will come up every now and then. Can anybody tell you what makes a woman a good mom?
What is a Good Mom?
a. Some adjectives. There is no textbook definition of a good mother. As every child is unique, so will a good mother be different in various situations. People describe a good mother in different ways, using a combination of words such as: patient, kind, understanding, generous, affectionate, loving, hardworking, persevering, efficient, reliable, sensitive, sacrificing, and intuitive. The list goes on.
b. Unconditional love. A common denominator among those who are perceived to be good moms is this: All the things that make a mom great are stuff that manifest her unconditional love for her child. A mom cannot go wrong with her child if her actions and decisions are guided by her love.
c. Guiding light. Mistakes that your baby will make are part of growing up. While it is your role to guide your baby as he or she is developing, problems in your baby’s behavior do not always imply that you are a bad mother. Do not be too hard on yourself. You did your best; some things just don’t turn out the way we want them to.
d. Sharing parental responsibility. A good mother can share parenting duties with others like her baby’s dad or some other responsible person. Allowing someone else, like your partner or members of your immediate family, to participate in raising your baby does not make you a bad mom already. A good mother is not necessarily a super mom. She knows when it is necessary to delegate minor baby care duties to someone she trusts in order to get other pressing tasks done.
Don’t let anyone or anything lead you into thinking that you failed as a mother. Resist the urge to question your parenting abilities. Avoid making comparisons with other moms and their babies. Your maternal instinct and sound judgment should make you the best person to decide what’s best for your baby. In the meantime, I encourage you to shower your baby with all the love, care and attention you can give him or her now. What matters is that in the eyes of your baby, you are a good mom.
