The Hazards and Rewards of Single Parenting
Being a single father or mother is a lot of work.
I don't mean a baby mama or baby daddy.
I mean a real parent.
Forty-eight hours of keeping a child twice a month is baby sitting, not parenting.
Until you are responsible for a child for weeks on end with no other parental backup, you don't know the work involved in being a single parent.
Now I do have to say there are some married parents out there who are essentially doing the job of a single parent, and these people can probably relate.
Also, let me say this article is not meant to take anything away from what married parents do.
But if you are a married parent, just imagine doubling your parenting duties on a regular basis, and then read on.
Being a single parent means you willget peed on.
At some point, you will have a leaky diapered child on your lap, and it will soak through.
Or, especially if you have a boy, you will be changing said diaper, and the air will hit the little guy's privates, which will then activate and do a fireman imitation and douse you soundly.
Or your child newly out of diapers will want to sleep with you, and you will be awakened in the middle of the night dreaming you are in a swimming pool as a warm sauna radiates out from around your child.
Being a single parent means you will get pooped on.
Reference above leaky diaper.
At some point, you will have poop on your hands, on your bed, likely your living room floor, definitely in your bath tub, and maybe even in your car or on your face.
Being a single parent means you will get puked on.
You will learn to wear baby spit up like a badge of honor on your best shirt or blouse; you will likely have the privilege of being projectile vomited on during flu season.
You might even be tasked with taking care of your puking child at the same time that you yourself are running off at both ends.
Being a single parent means you will probably have more than one job.
You will likely have a full time job -that you pray offers medical insurance.
This job might pay the rent and the other basic bills.
However, it's very likely you will have one or two part time jobs in order to put food on the table or to pay for any extras like sports or summer camps or an occasional movie if you're lucky.
And forget about having a real, grown up vacation for yourself.
Not happening.
Being a single parent means you will work your fingers to the bone to keep your house clean and respectable looking, only to realize that when you finish the last room, the first one you started in already looks like the Tasmanian Devil threw a rave and passed out speed to the entire Smurf population.
Being a single parent means you can say goodbye to normal people's sleep hours.
You will have twice as much to get done as you used to, but somehow no one added any extra hours to the day.
Sleeping in will soon mean that you got to stay in bed until 7 am on a weekend.
Being a single parent means you will bring lunch from home.
While your co-workers file out to the latest sushi bar or hottest Mexican restaurant, you will be enjoying your left overs from last night's dinner or chowing down on your 45th ham sandwich of the month.
You will get to go to lunch with everyone pretty much on pay-day, and that's it.
Being a single parent means you have to schedule when you have sex.
And pray to God that you don't have a bad hair day or a fat day on your scheduled loving day.
Gone are the days of the last-minute booty call or the spontaneous bar hook up.
If you are smart, you will date another single parent who understands the time constraints.
This works especially well for some afternoon delight if both your jobs permit it, or if you are lucky, your children will visit their respective babies' daddies or mamas on the same weekends.
So why would a person choose to be peed, pooped, and puked on; to give up all their own free time; to get less and less sleep; to be perpetually working yet always broke; to have an irregular sex life; and to have to deal with either a lazy present parent or a dead beat absent parent? Because if you do all of these things well, your child will curl up on your lap at night or latch onto your neck as you tuck him or her into bed and give you a big drooly kiss.
He will look up at you with eyes that convey that he feels completely safe from the ills of the outside world; he will give you unconditional love like you will get from no other person on the planet; and as he closes his eyes every night, he will say quite simply, "Night night, daddy.
I love you.
" And if you can't feel the massive reward in that simple pleasure, then I suggest you have a condom or IUD permanently, surgically attached to your penis or vagina.
I don't mean a baby mama or baby daddy.
I mean a real parent.
Forty-eight hours of keeping a child twice a month is baby sitting, not parenting.
Until you are responsible for a child for weeks on end with no other parental backup, you don't know the work involved in being a single parent.
Now I do have to say there are some married parents out there who are essentially doing the job of a single parent, and these people can probably relate.
Also, let me say this article is not meant to take anything away from what married parents do.
But if you are a married parent, just imagine doubling your parenting duties on a regular basis, and then read on.
Being a single parent means you willget peed on.
At some point, you will have a leaky diapered child on your lap, and it will soak through.
Or, especially if you have a boy, you will be changing said diaper, and the air will hit the little guy's privates, which will then activate and do a fireman imitation and douse you soundly.
Or your child newly out of diapers will want to sleep with you, and you will be awakened in the middle of the night dreaming you are in a swimming pool as a warm sauna radiates out from around your child.
Being a single parent means you will get pooped on.
Reference above leaky diaper.
At some point, you will have poop on your hands, on your bed, likely your living room floor, definitely in your bath tub, and maybe even in your car or on your face.
Being a single parent means you will get puked on.
You will learn to wear baby spit up like a badge of honor on your best shirt or blouse; you will likely have the privilege of being projectile vomited on during flu season.
You might even be tasked with taking care of your puking child at the same time that you yourself are running off at both ends.
Being a single parent means you will probably have more than one job.
You will likely have a full time job -that you pray offers medical insurance.
This job might pay the rent and the other basic bills.
However, it's very likely you will have one or two part time jobs in order to put food on the table or to pay for any extras like sports or summer camps or an occasional movie if you're lucky.
And forget about having a real, grown up vacation for yourself.
Not happening.
Being a single parent means you will work your fingers to the bone to keep your house clean and respectable looking, only to realize that when you finish the last room, the first one you started in already looks like the Tasmanian Devil threw a rave and passed out speed to the entire Smurf population.
Being a single parent means you can say goodbye to normal people's sleep hours.
You will have twice as much to get done as you used to, but somehow no one added any extra hours to the day.
Sleeping in will soon mean that you got to stay in bed until 7 am on a weekend.
Being a single parent means you will bring lunch from home.
While your co-workers file out to the latest sushi bar or hottest Mexican restaurant, you will be enjoying your left overs from last night's dinner or chowing down on your 45th ham sandwich of the month.
You will get to go to lunch with everyone pretty much on pay-day, and that's it.
Being a single parent means you have to schedule when you have sex.
And pray to God that you don't have a bad hair day or a fat day on your scheduled loving day.
Gone are the days of the last-minute booty call or the spontaneous bar hook up.
If you are smart, you will date another single parent who understands the time constraints.
This works especially well for some afternoon delight if both your jobs permit it, or if you are lucky, your children will visit their respective babies' daddies or mamas on the same weekends.
So why would a person choose to be peed, pooped, and puked on; to give up all their own free time; to get less and less sleep; to be perpetually working yet always broke; to have an irregular sex life; and to have to deal with either a lazy present parent or a dead beat absent parent? Because if you do all of these things well, your child will curl up on your lap at night or latch onto your neck as you tuck him or her into bed and give you a big drooly kiss.
He will look up at you with eyes that convey that he feels completely safe from the ills of the outside world; he will give you unconditional love like you will get from no other person on the planet; and as he closes his eyes every night, he will say quite simply, "Night night, daddy.
I love you.
" And if you can't feel the massive reward in that simple pleasure, then I suggest you have a condom or IUD permanently, surgically attached to your penis or vagina.
