Being a good parent is one of the most challenging jobs that we will experience in our lives.
Because we don't get a "manual" when we become parents, we often look back on how we were raised to help us and if it felt okay, then we might use that with our own children.
Sometimes it is the total opposite, where what happened to us, we would never want our children to go through.
It could be that we get friends or family telling us how to raise our children.
Sometimes these recommendations work out, but at other times they can make problems worse.
You know, I had a parent ask me "When my 3-year old boy does not get his own way, he has a tantrum, gets angry, yells, screams and hits out at me.
He also has started pushing other kids at play group.
I want him to be a happy child.
How do I stop him from becoming a bully?" Some initial steps you can take:

1. Be a good role model.
   Ask yourself...
   What helps me calm down when I get frustrated, stressed or angry? Do I handle these feelings in a healthy way? Or do I lose my cool, yell, drink too much or over eat when I'm stressed? If you have unhealthy reactions to negative feelings, maybe you and your child (or everyone in the family) can learn how to manage these feelings and calm down together.
   
2. Check for other bad role models.
   What about the child's older siblings and peers at school? Has anyone else ever bullied your child, which they have learned from? Is someone else is bullying your child now?
3. We all feel better quicker when we have someone to talk to.
   Regularly sit down privately with your child to talk about how they are feeling.
   Ask them about their day; what was fun and what was not so fun? These talks help child to learn emotion words like sad, happy, angry, or scared.
   
4. Involve the family in setting house rules that explain appropriate behaviour e.
   g.
   , in our family...
   1.
   We keep our hands to ourselves.
   2.
   We use our quiet inside voice.
   
5. Set limits on rough and tumble play.
   Although rough and tumble play is an important part of growing up, if dad only ever plays roughly, boys (or girls) learn that this is normal.
   Dads (and mum's) need to limit how much time is spent on rough play and also spend time with them on quiet gentle activities like reading, drawing and puzzles.
   Boys need to learn that there is more to dads than being strong and proud and that they have a soft gentle and loving side as well.
   

Do you have a children refusing to get dressed or do homework? Is your child a fussy eater, arguing and fighting with brothers or sister or having tantrums? Learn more with the Parents Under Pressure Group Program