Anti-Bullying Tactics That Work
Each day in the United States, more than 160,000 students refuse to go to school for no other reason than the fact that they dread the physical or verbal aggression they will receive at the hands of a bully.
And it goes beyond the physical, unfounded rumors and cyber-bullying are just as damaging and just as dangerous.
Bullying has been the prevalent form of school related violence for decades.
Bullying is basically a form of aggression directed by one or more people towards another person.
Usually the victim is smaller, more passive, and less prone to fight back, basically an easy target.
Bullying may take physical form as punching, shoving, kicking, or holding, as well as stealing or breaking a student's belongings.
It may also be verbal, where words are used instead of fists, but the aftereffects may be just as damaging.
Verbal abuse may entail threats, insults, sarcasm, name-calling, slurs, put downs, or ridicule.
Relational bullying happens when a student's peer relations are disrupted by leaving them out, gossiping about them, or spreading rumors.
Cyber bullying occurs through use of cell phones, text messages, e-mails, or social networking sites to intimidate or threaten a student.
Cyber bullying is on the rise and is considered as dangerous as more traditional forms of bullying.
Often bullying crosses the line into harassment, harassment being defined as continued abuse or threats made as the result of a person's specific characteristic, such as race, sex, or physical or mental disability.
One thing that is important to remember about a bully is that they are cowards.
Consider, bullies will never pick on someone who is their size or larger, and they will not provoke someone who is likely to fight back or mount any sort of defense.
They are counting on the passiveness of their victims to ensure their successful abuse or threats.
In addition, standing up to a bully almost always means the bully will back down.
This is true even if the bully is physically larger or stronger than the victim.
Remember though that bullies often surround themselves with hangers on, and one person standing up against a group might not be the wisest choice.
If your child is being bullied, or if you suspect that they are, talk to them, give them a chance to really open up about their experiences at school each day.
No doubt at first they will be reluctant to talk about it, and with good reason, it is a source of embarrassment for them.
But always keep those lines of communication open so that they will feel comfortable coming to you with their problems.
Resist the urge to confront the bully or the bully's parents straight away.
This will do nothing to increase your child's self-esteem and may only make things worse.
You may however, wish to let school officials know what is going on so that they may keep an eye on the situation.
Some parents (this author included) enroll their children in some form of martial arts class.
The idea being to develop more assertiveness and higher self-esteem, as well as the ability to successfully defend themselves.
There is also nothing wrong with walking away from a bullying situation, and your child needs this affirmed.
The child can tell the bully to leave him alone, or come up with a snappy retort at whatever the bully says.
Sometimes humor can go a long way towards diffusing volatile situations.
Your children should also be told that it is perfectly acceptable to inform an adult if they witness another child being bullied.
One should never stand idly by and allow the abuse of another person to go unchallenged.
Likewise, bullies need to be told that their behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
Ongoing bullying behavior may result in psychological treatment or in many cases detention or other discipline.
Bullying is commonly thought of as a problem between boys, however keep in mind that girls are just as capable of bullying as their male counterparts, and in many cases can be even more destructive.
Girls tend to be less physical in bullying, choosing instead to intimidate through isolation or gossip.
Bullying may never completely go away.
There will always be those who feel the best way to get ahead is through mistreatment, abuse, and threats of violence.
However it can be handled in a manner by which all parties involved may benefit.
As the song says, teach your children well...
And it goes beyond the physical, unfounded rumors and cyber-bullying are just as damaging and just as dangerous.
Bullying has been the prevalent form of school related violence for decades.
Bullying is basically a form of aggression directed by one or more people towards another person.
Usually the victim is smaller, more passive, and less prone to fight back, basically an easy target.
Bullying may take physical form as punching, shoving, kicking, or holding, as well as stealing or breaking a student's belongings.
It may also be verbal, where words are used instead of fists, but the aftereffects may be just as damaging.
Verbal abuse may entail threats, insults, sarcasm, name-calling, slurs, put downs, or ridicule.
Relational bullying happens when a student's peer relations are disrupted by leaving them out, gossiping about them, or spreading rumors.
Cyber bullying occurs through use of cell phones, text messages, e-mails, or social networking sites to intimidate or threaten a student.
Cyber bullying is on the rise and is considered as dangerous as more traditional forms of bullying.
Often bullying crosses the line into harassment, harassment being defined as continued abuse or threats made as the result of a person's specific characteristic, such as race, sex, or physical or mental disability.
One thing that is important to remember about a bully is that they are cowards.
Consider, bullies will never pick on someone who is their size or larger, and they will not provoke someone who is likely to fight back or mount any sort of defense.
They are counting on the passiveness of their victims to ensure their successful abuse or threats.
In addition, standing up to a bully almost always means the bully will back down.
This is true even if the bully is physically larger or stronger than the victim.
Remember though that bullies often surround themselves with hangers on, and one person standing up against a group might not be the wisest choice.
If your child is being bullied, or if you suspect that they are, talk to them, give them a chance to really open up about their experiences at school each day.
No doubt at first they will be reluctant to talk about it, and with good reason, it is a source of embarrassment for them.
But always keep those lines of communication open so that they will feel comfortable coming to you with their problems.
Resist the urge to confront the bully or the bully's parents straight away.
This will do nothing to increase your child's self-esteem and may only make things worse.
You may however, wish to let school officials know what is going on so that they may keep an eye on the situation.
Some parents (this author included) enroll their children in some form of martial arts class.
The idea being to develop more assertiveness and higher self-esteem, as well as the ability to successfully defend themselves.
There is also nothing wrong with walking away from a bullying situation, and your child needs this affirmed.
The child can tell the bully to leave him alone, or come up with a snappy retort at whatever the bully says.
Sometimes humor can go a long way towards diffusing volatile situations.
Your children should also be told that it is perfectly acceptable to inform an adult if they witness another child being bullied.
One should never stand idly by and allow the abuse of another person to go unchallenged.
Likewise, bullies need to be told that their behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.
Ongoing bullying behavior may result in psychological treatment or in many cases detention or other discipline.
Bullying is commonly thought of as a problem between boys, however keep in mind that girls are just as capable of bullying as their male counterparts, and in many cases can be even more destructive.
Girls tend to be less physical in bullying, choosing instead to intimidate through isolation or gossip.
Bullying may never completely go away.
There will always be those who feel the best way to get ahead is through mistreatment, abuse, and threats of violence.
However it can be handled in a manner by which all parties involved may benefit.
As the song says, teach your children well...
