A Zillion to One
A zillion is a really big number. I remember when people used to say that a Google was the biggest number. I guess in some ways they were right but back then infinity wasn't even a car. Then some Einstein said umm... what about infinity squared (not that Einstein). That gave me my first migraine headache. But I think a zillion is ample in size to convey a really truly large number. As Marshall McLuhan once said, "the case of the electric light bulb might prove illuminating here." If you take every light bulb that has ever been sold in the history of light bulbs, it is estimated to be less than half a zillion. Only slightly more than half a zillion gallons of gas have been sold in the history of man, of course one must recall that horses are hay burners and other than their minor contribution to methane production horses have had very little to do with either the production or consumption of gas. Very few tallies actually ever reach a zillion. A few of these, though, are quite interesting.
American males alone, recently surpassed a zillion beers drunk and the men of the rest of the world combined have consumed another zillion beers and quite interestingly, all of the beer that has ever been drunk by all of the women in the world throughout history is roughly equal to the amount of beer that men have spilled throughout history but it is still significantly more than the amount of sperm men have spilled throughout history. While this is an interesting fact in and of itself, when one considers that over 10% of all the beer ever drunk by women throughout history, was used to wash down spilled sperm, these figures take on serious additional significance. Happily, 40% of the zillion beers drunk by men in the United States were light beers. It has been estimated that the light beer factor, which states "because light beer is only two thirds as filling as regular beer it only makes sense to drink half again as much," may have contributed as much as 25% of the fact that American men reached the zillion beer mark first, before the men in the rest of the world.
Dinosaurs roamed the earth for centuries. Their total numbers exceeded a Zillion. One important study suggests that had dinosaur feces not turned into oil more quickly than the decomposing dinosaurs, earth to this very day would be a shitty place to live. Consider for a moment the fact that the average fully grown dinosaur would have, over the period of its life, defecated an amount roughly equal to twice its size. Therefore, we might conceptualize this huge creature standing between two giant piles of manure, all of which have been placed there by a brain the size of a pea. Well, perhaps this is not radically different than the displacement of old cars in the South or even the displacement of millions of square miles of snow and ice by a race of people more concerned with the position of their hair and the future of their heirs.
There is an average of about one zillion asteroids per galaxy in outer space. There are plus or minus a zillion galaxies in outer space. Therefore, the chances the earth will ever be displaced from its orbit by being hit by an asteroid from another galaxy is approximately a zillion to one. The mind-boggling concept of a zillion zillion asteroids, creates the notion that space is indeed endless. If one tries to conceive of the amount of space on an average between asteroids and then expands this concept to include a zillion zillion asteroids plus all of the space needed to house same, one's head might explode.
Endless time is no less an enigma than inconceivable numbers of objects. Man's preoccupation with the concept of an afterlife, with the concept of God, is his feeble attempt at explaining the unexplainable. During an earthquake men are often known to temporarily go into shock or to become very disoriented. This happens because the fact that the Earth is shaking is contrary to one of the basic premises that man lives by. Man needs to believe that the Earth is stable and will not shake beneath his feet. When an earthquake contradicts this basic need, man becomes confused.
When one examines in broad strokes what man knows about the universe and considers the incredible number of other planets with similar relationships to other stars in other solar systems, in other galaxies, the likelihood that man is alone as intelligent life in the universe, seems like it should be about a zillion to one. However, the likelihood that beings from another planet will arrive tomorrow and sit our leaders down and explain all of the mysteries of the universe is about zillion zillion to one. However still, the likelihood that the very next day beings from still another galaxy, far superior to the ones who arrived the day before, will arrive and explain to the beings who have just arrived and to our leaders the true answers to all of the mysteries of the universe is still only about a zillion zillion to one.
I would be more than happy to provide the math backup for each and every one of the statements presented here, however, the blackboard that would be required to make such a presentation exceeds the longest diagonal line that expands across any continent. Also, such a presentation would require about a zillion pieces of chalk.
American males alone, recently surpassed a zillion beers drunk and the men of the rest of the world combined have consumed another zillion beers and quite interestingly, all of the beer that has ever been drunk by all of the women in the world throughout history is roughly equal to the amount of beer that men have spilled throughout history but it is still significantly more than the amount of sperm men have spilled throughout history. While this is an interesting fact in and of itself, when one considers that over 10% of all the beer ever drunk by women throughout history, was used to wash down spilled sperm, these figures take on serious additional significance. Happily, 40% of the zillion beers drunk by men in the United States were light beers. It has been estimated that the light beer factor, which states "because light beer is only two thirds as filling as regular beer it only makes sense to drink half again as much," may have contributed as much as 25% of the fact that American men reached the zillion beer mark first, before the men in the rest of the world.
Dinosaurs roamed the earth for centuries. Their total numbers exceeded a Zillion. One important study suggests that had dinosaur feces not turned into oil more quickly than the decomposing dinosaurs, earth to this very day would be a shitty place to live. Consider for a moment the fact that the average fully grown dinosaur would have, over the period of its life, defecated an amount roughly equal to twice its size. Therefore, we might conceptualize this huge creature standing between two giant piles of manure, all of which have been placed there by a brain the size of a pea. Well, perhaps this is not radically different than the displacement of old cars in the South or even the displacement of millions of square miles of snow and ice by a race of people more concerned with the position of their hair and the future of their heirs.
There is an average of about one zillion asteroids per galaxy in outer space. There are plus or minus a zillion galaxies in outer space. Therefore, the chances the earth will ever be displaced from its orbit by being hit by an asteroid from another galaxy is approximately a zillion to one. The mind-boggling concept of a zillion zillion asteroids, creates the notion that space is indeed endless. If one tries to conceive of the amount of space on an average between asteroids and then expands this concept to include a zillion zillion asteroids plus all of the space needed to house same, one's head might explode.
Endless time is no less an enigma than inconceivable numbers of objects. Man's preoccupation with the concept of an afterlife, with the concept of God, is his feeble attempt at explaining the unexplainable. During an earthquake men are often known to temporarily go into shock or to become very disoriented. This happens because the fact that the Earth is shaking is contrary to one of the basic premises that man lives by. Man needs to believe that the Earth is stable and will not shake beneath his feet. When an earthquake contradicts this basic need, man becomes confused.
When one examines in broad strokes what man knows about the universe and considers the incredible number of other planets with similar relationships to other stars in other solar systems, in other galaxies, the likelihood that man is alone as intelligent life in the universe, seems like it should be about a zillion to one. However, the likelihood that beings from another planet will arrive tomorrow and sit our leaders down and explain all of the mysteries of the universe is about zillion zillion to one. However still, the likelihood that the very next day beings from still another galaxy, far superior to the ones who arrived the day before, will arrive and explain to the beings who have just arrived and to our leaders the true answers to all of the mysteries of the universe is still only about a zillion zillion to one.
I would be more than happy to provide the math backup for each and every one of the statements presented here, however, the blackboard that would be required to make such a presentation exceeds the longest diagonal line that expands across any continent. Also, such a presentation would require about a zillion pieces of chalk.
