You Have No Events Scheduled For Today
I own one of those "smart phones".
This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb.
One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day.
I never use it.
So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me "You have no events scheduled for today".
I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant.
I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program.
The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.
I really don't need my "smart phone" to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program).
I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life.
Here are my daily events: 5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.
5:40AM Leave for work.
6:45AM Remember to punch into work.
3:30PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don't forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home).
If working overtime, disregard this message.
8:30PM Remember to punch out and go home.
If not working overtime, disregard this message.
(don't forget the dog food, and bread) 11:00PM Go to bed.
You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don't get 6 hrs.
of sleep.
If drinking disregard this notice.
You have events scheduled for today! 12:00AMGo to bed, you need at least 5 hrs.
sleep.
1:00AMGO TO BED!!!If already passed out, disregard this notice.
5:00AMTime to drag your ass out of bed.
Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis!I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.
Damn!I forgot the dog food and the bread!
This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb.
One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day.
I never use it.
So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me "You have no events scheduled for today".
I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant.
I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program.
The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.
I really don't need my "smart phone" to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program).
I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life.
Here are my daily events: 5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.
5:40AM Leave for work.
6:45AM Remember to punch into work.
3:30PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don't forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home).
If working overtime, disregard this message.
8:30PM Remember to punch out and go home.
If not working overtime, disregard this message.
(don't forget the dog food, and bread) 11:00PM Go to bed.
You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don't get 6 hrs.
of sleep.
If drinking disregard this notice.
You have events scheduled for today! 12:00AMGo to bed, you need at least 5 hrs.
sleep.
1:00AMGO TO BED!!!If already passed out, disregard this notice.
5:00AMTime to drag your ass out of bed.
Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis!I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.
Damn!I forgot the dog food and the bread!
