So, the other day I was in an unavoidable situation where I was asked to look after a little girl for a few minutes (which ended up being half an hour) by her mother.
She said she was going to be right back and asked me if I could have an eye on her little girl just in case.
Then she told the girl to be nice and just took off.
I guess she was about five or six years old, even though I never really asked given that I was trying to avoid any possible unnecessary conversation.
You may think I'm anti-social but you see, I'm not that good when it comes to talking to kids.
So if I'd have to choose between awkward silence or talking to a six-year-old about which Barbie is the coolest these days, I'd choose awkward silence.
But unfortunately, this choice wasn't up to me.
Just a few seconds after her mom was gone, we sat on a bench on the quiet street.
She sat uncomfortably close to me (you know, I need my space), and whispered: "Aren't you gonna say you're sorry?".
I had no idea what she was talking about and I really wanted not to respond, but I thought it would be rude so I asked "Sorry? about what?".
She came even closer, facing me, and said, once again whispering: "I saw you the other day talking to one of your friends.
And you used the F word like three times!! (She was showing four with her fingers while saying that) And there were little kids around".
I was shocked and didn't know what to say.
So I said (hoping the whole time the conversation would end here): "I'm really sorry, I guess I didn't see the kids".
And her answer was "Well, that's okay.
But I'm sure Santa will have that in mind".
As much as I'd like the conversation to be over that moment, she was quite a chatterbox.
So our inevitable conversation went like this: - Do you like ice-cream? - Who doesn't like ice-cream? - Do you think aliens exist? - Yeah.
- Have you ever seen one? - Nope.
And I swear to you, the next question just came out of the blue.
- Do you know what gay means? Remember when I said I wasn't good at talking to kids, well, I meant it.
Of course I knew what gay meant, but I had no intentions of explaining it to a six-year-old.
I guess she realised my silence and took it as a "no" and said: "Well, I can explain it to you".
That's when I realised she wasn't asking the question to know the answer, she was asking it to know if I knew it or not.
While I was processing this in my head, she started explaining without giving me a chance to say I already knew it and didn't really want to listen to her explain it: - "Well, it's when you are a boy and drink water from the same cup as another boy.
Then you become gay".
I didn't know if I should laugh, cry or feel bad and as much as I wanted not to say anything, I couldn't let her keep thinking this was the right answer.
So, even though I knew I would regret it, I said: - "That's not right.
" She actually seemed surprised, like she was pretty sure that was the right answer.
- "So what is it?" After a second of thinking the right words, I answered: - "Well, it's when you're sexually attracted by the same gender" She seemed quite confused which made me think I should have just let her think she was right in the first place.
Before she could say anything we finally saw her mom walking towards us.
I was so happy to see her before things got worse.
But just as she was about to say something, the little girl stood up and asked impatiently: "Mom! Mom! What does sexually attracted to the same gender mean?" Her mom just stared at me for a couple of seconds while my face was turning red and my mind searching for a logical explanation.
She was probably wondering what kind of conversation we had.
Anyway, she decided not to say anything about and thanked me for looking after her girl (probably for the last time), and walked away.
Why do I always end up in these situations?!